Imagination, a thing we always are accustomed to. A thing, that lets us be in a world, that is so unrealistic to everyone around us, even us included. It not only lets us create undoable things, but also lets you to connect to a realm of childishness, innocence, humility, smile, as well as vengeance and every possible thing that you can dream of.
Sometimes, the imagination forms a story, to be told and talked about. What I am going to write now, is one such. It might not be the best one, but it sure is a story...
Breeze as pleasant it could possibly be, brought a relaxing feeling in me. I decided to walk on the roof of my house. It was 11pm. On that night, sky was gleaming with stars. Some shining bright, some very dim lit. Some stars shone together in certain patter, not sure why. But we humans, tend to call them as constellations. It was as though best buddies among stars were sitting together and having an evening chat.
My friends always said that stars were innumerable. They were uncountable. Mank Kind would probably end up by counting the number of stars, we will never be able to reach stars etc etc. I did think about what light years are, and how awesome a journey it would be to travel at that pace. considering I was imagining, anything was possible. I began smiling looking at those stars, told myself, "Let me count as many stars as I can.."
Nights passed followed by weeks. On one night, I managed to count 34 stars (it was the night I began counting the stars), the other night I managed to count up to 80 stars. I always wanted to beat myself in everything I did or will do. Hence counting stars became a habit and as nights passed and months rolled out into years, I was now able to count as many as 1200 stars. Its been 14 years now. I still am amazed at the stars as much as I was 14 years ago.
Dreaming a dream that I have always wanted to dream, was still a dream. Sometimes, it is in being alone that one finds the best solace. I found my solace during the time I spent counting stars. It was still incomplete.
To be continued...
Monday 28 April 2008
Sometimes..
Sometimes I wonder..
Sometimes I think..
Sometimes I understand..
Sometimes I want to be understood..
Sometimes, I just want things to be sometimes..
Probably, there is a negativity in every positive thing and an amazing heart warming pulsating adrenaline pumping motivating truth in every negativity too. It just depends on how you look at things.
On an average, in a day, my routine varies from moving off my favorite couch to prepare for the battle and face the extra nutritious day. It begins from reading newspaper, watching a little bit of news and than switch over to music. Than check my mails, read some online articles. When clock strikes right time, I get ready and am off to work with a little or no food in my ever growing tummy. It is at this time that life starts feeding me with new things.
On the way to work, I notice so many things. People in different places, different moods, different clothes, different vehicles, different attitudes.. There is varsity in variety every where. I try to find a unique thing in everything. A thing that stands out of the odd. A thing that would want others to want it. I search for that.
Travellers, walkers, people who are sitting, mostly looking at the earth all the time. I wonder at these times as to how depressed and pessimistic has their own choices made them. How I wish I could help each one of them.
I see trees swinging, leaves dancing, branches singing in melancholy, telling things to humans.. Do not worry. Things will happen as they are destined to. Wind will blow, trees will shake. I understood that. Its the unspoken law of nature. At the same time, I see the look on various faces. Faces filled with anxiety, pain, mild happiness, tiredness, grief, sorrow, suffering and every possible negative emotions I could probably list.
All the while during my journey from home to work, I try to find one person who would atleast smile looking at a stranger and say in an unsaid words "We are alive".. I try to find that one person, every single day for past 2.5 years. I will continue to find that person. Not just from home to work, in every road I would travel, in every person my eyes could possibly see.
I reach office. With one thing in my mind. "I will not let today be like yesterday". I come with a motto to make today a better one compared to yesterday. I will face every challenging situation in a motivational way. I will not compromise myself for any living thing or a non living thing at work. I will make sure to beat my yesterday's efficiency today. So what if I get paid less, I will earn my pay for what as a person I am. Not for who I am with at work.
With that in my mind, as I step in, I feel the heat of negativity surrounding my desk. As I am approaching, I tell myself, to continue to persist. I have got myself used to watch laziness, as fat as cows as thin as skeletons, as ignorant as snail. I have seen wickedness as wicked as jackal or a hyena. I have seen every genre of animals in the zoo. Almost everything. It is here that I realized there was one more kind. A kind that is not to be found anywhere.
In my stay as an employee, after my college days, I have realized some important things. Some people work for gaining experience. Some work for money. Some work for pleasure. Some work for finding happiness. Some seek growth. Some work for building contacts. Some work for nothing. common thing in all of them is something interesting. When you happen to ask them 'Why are you doing whatever you are doing?", surprisingly for others not me, they do not know the answer. They would just say "I finished my school. After that college. I got a job. I am working. I want to earn more." And then, I met the new kind. The self-centered crowd. These do not care what happens to others, how others might feel. All they are worried is about recognition, more recognition, more and more recognition. I want to climb 100 steps in 4 jumps.
It is at these times that I think. I think of how it would be in the corporate world, if we had honest works. When targets were not met, if the employees took that as a challenge to work the best next time, how would things be? I think of how the corporate world would be. I think on what I would need to do to atleast take the first step towards that. What I think is what I believe I can do. I think.
As the day goes, I work. Same routine, same genre of mails, same contacts, new escalations, new projects, new challenges.
It is at these times I understand. I understand how things at work affect one another. How the result of one's work is the input for the process of someone else's work. I understand the flow. I understand why as a person people are who they are. I understand why people made choices that they preferred over the other option.
Considering what people are, I work to ensure that I live to what I deide for the day. I live not to compromise myself for the benefit of others for their selfish motives. I do not intend to hurt anyone while I work for the betterment of others. First chance is forgivable. Second chance is manageable. Third chance can possibly a warning sign. But the next one, it is better to close the tap off or cut the feathers down or even worse, flush the shit out.
I fight a battle with myself every single day. I being a human too, tend to be biasing towards people. I have that feeling to do good to those who I am always with and talk to. I tend to be that as a person. Call it as an inluence of people I am working with or the environment on me. I tend to be like that. But I deter from it, fight the temptation away and let me smile at myself and say one thing "I am me".
I care for people whom I respect a lot for what as a person they are. Sometimes, I tend to help them even without they asking me for it. At times I tend to be more concerned about their problems because I cant see them worried and upset. Till I find a valuable and persistent solution, I never take a break. Whenever there is a problem, I love to be the first person to come there to solve it up. Once it is solved, I love to sit back and see the happiness and not ask for what I did. Its a challenge to be selfless and I seemt o have mastered it.
Sometimes, whatever I do, however I do, whenever I do, things go wrong. Not because of me. But because of certain circumstances and situations. Sometimes those whom I count on, tend to doubt my very being. Sometimes, those who know me for a lot reasons and a lot better, do not seem to have a clue of what I am going through. Sometimes I just expect someone tojust walk to me and ask me those magical words "Can I help you?", sometimes I just want someone to come over me and sit beside me and put an arm across my shoulders and say "I am there", sometimes, I tend to be human and crave for someone's presence, efficient enough to motivate me. I do not like asking those things for they make me weak.
It is at these times that I want to be understood. It is at these times that I really want to be understood.
A lot of hope rides on my back in everything I do, in everything I think, in everything I feel, in everything i want, in everything I give, in everything..
Sometimes, I just want things to be sometimes...
Sometimes I think..
Sometimes I understand..
Sometimes I want to be understood..
Sometimes, I just want things to be sometimes..
Probably, there is a negativity in every positive thing and an amazing heart warming pulsating adrenaline pumping motivating truth in every negativity too. It just depends on how you look at things.
On an average, in a day, my routine varies from moving off my favorite couch to prepare for the battle and face the extra nutritious day. It begins from reading newspaper, watching a little bit of news and than switch over to music. Than check my mails, read some online articles. When clock strikes right time, I get ready and am off to work with a little or no food in my ever growing tummy. It is at this time that life starts feeding me with new things.
On the way to work, I notice so many things. People in different places, different moods, different clothes, different vehicles, different attitudes.. There is varsity in variety every where. I try to find a unique thing in everything. A thing that stands out of the odd. A thing that would want others to want it. I search for that.
Travellers, walkers, people who are sitting, mostly looking at the earth all the time. I wonder at these times as to how depressed and pessimistic has their own choices made them. How I wish I could help each one of them.
I see trees swinging, leaves dancing, branches singing in melancholy, telling things to humans.. Do not worry. Things will happen as they are destined to. Wind will blow, trees will shake. I understood that. Its the unspoken law of nature. At the same time, I see the look on various faces. Faces filled with anxiety, pain, mild happiness, tiredness, grief, sorrow, suffering and every possible negative emotions I could probably list.
All the while during my journey from home to work, I try to find one person who would atleast smile looking at a stranger and say in an unsaid words "We are alive".. I try to find that one person, every single day for past 2.5 years. I will continue to find that person. Not just from home to work, in every road I would travel, in every person my eyes could possibly see.
I reach office. With one thing in my mind. "I will not let today be like yesterday". I come with a motto to make today a better one compared to yesterday. I will face every challenging situation in a motivational way. I will not compromise myself for any living thing or a non living thing at work. I will make sure to beat my yesterday's efficiency today. So what if I get paid less, I will earn my pay for what as a person I am. Not for who I am with at work.
With that in my mind, as I step in, I feel the heat of negativity surrounding my desk. As I am approaching, I tell myself, to continue to persist. I have got myself used to watch laziness, as fat as cows as thin as skeletons, as ignorant as snail. I have seen wickedness as wicked as jackal or a hyena. I have seen every genre of animals in the zoo. Almost everything. It is here that I realized there was one more kind. A kind that is not to be found anywhere.
In my stay as an employee, after my college days, I have realized some important things. Some people work for gaining experience. Some work for money. Some work for pleasure. Some work for finding happiness. Some seek growth. Some work for building contacts. Some work for nothing. common thing in all of them is something interesting. When you happen to ask them 'Why are you doing whatever you are doing?", surprisingly for others not me, they do not know the answer. They would just say "I finished my school. After that college. I got a job. I am working. I want to earn more." And then, I met the new kind. The self-centered crowd. These do not care what happens to others, how others might feel. All they are worried is about recognition, more recognition, more and more recognition. I want to climb 100 steps in 4 jumps.
It is at these times that I think. I think of how it would be in the corporate world, if we had honest works. When targets were not met, if the employees took that as a challenge to work the best next time, how would things be? I think of how the corporate world would be. I think on what I would need to do to atleast take the first step towards that. What I think is what I believe I can do. I think.
As the day goes, I work. Same routine, same genre of mails, same contacts, new escalations, new projects, new challenges.
It is at these times I understand. I understand how things at work affect one another. How the result of one's work is the input for the process of someone else's work. I understand the flow. I understand why as a person people are who they are. I understand why people made choices that they preferred over the other option.
Considering what people are, I work to ensure that I live to what I deide for the day. I live not to compromise myself for the benefit of others for their selfish motives. I do not intend to hurt anyone while I work for the betterment of others. First chance is forgivable. Second chance is manageable. Third chance can possibly a warning sign. But the next one, it is better to close the tap off or cut the feathers down or even worse, flush the shit out.
I fight a battle with myself every single day. I being a human too, tend to be biasing towards people. I have that feeling to do good to those who I am always with and talk to. I tend to be that as a person. Call it as an inluence of people I am working with or the environment on me. I tend to be like that. But I deter from it, fight the temptation away and let me smile at myself and say one thing "I am me".
I care for people whom I respect a lot for what as a person they are. Sometimes, I tend to help them even without they asking me for it. At times I tend to be more concerned about their problems because I cant see them worried and upset. Till I find a valuable and persistent solution, I never take a break. Whenever there is a problem, I love to be the first person to come there to solve it up. Once it is solved, I love to sit back and see the happiness and not ask for what I did. Its a challenge to be selfless and I seemt o have mastered it.
Sometimes, whatever I do, however I do, whenever I do, things go wrong. Not because of me. But because of certain circumstances and situations. Sometimes those whom I count on, tend to doubt my very being. Sometimes, those who know me for a lot reasons and a lot better, do not seem to have a clue of what I am going through. Sometimes I just expect someone tojust walk to me and ask me those magical words "Can I help you?", sometimes I just want someone to come over me and sit beside me and put an arm across my shoulders and say "I am there", sometimes, I tend to be human and crave for someone's presence, efficient enough to motivate me. I do not like asking those things for they make me weak.
It is at these times that I want to be understood. It is at these times that I really want to be understood.
A lot of hope rides on my back in everything I do, in everything I think, in everything I feel, in everything i want, in everything I give, in everything..
Sometimes, I just want things to be sometimes...
Vulnerability
One of the greatest wastage of the time is to do something really well, which you should not be doing at all.
Many do not realize this in their daily life and when their expected results do not show up, they play the best known game to humanity, THE BLAME GAME. It is in this game that fingers start pointing in opposite directions. They get pissed off with everything that is happening to them and around them. It is during this time that they take the most stupid and irrelevant decisions for their lives, which eventually, ends up making them regret taking it. This is not something that I have seen once so far. I see it every day. Every hour. And think of this nature most of the time, wondering what can I do to ensure that I would not be in such a situation.
Ever since I thought about the time that was being wasted in my life and ever since I decided to use it for good and for betterment of things around me and for me, my outloook at thing changed drastically. For instance,
1. When I say something, I think again, Wonder if I really had to say it. This has led me to be more quiet and do more.
2. When I work on something that I should not be doing, I think. I think as to who should be doing and I find out the reason why that person is not doing it. Help him / her to accept their responsibility and make them do it.
3. When I am on call, I think if it is really needed for me to be on the call. I used to talk a lot, but I realized that, most of my time, the one that I could use for myself was being given away. Not that it was not helping the other person, That's the essence of any conversation I like to have, helping the other person, I do it, but a times, get drifted away. Now, my motto is to reduce that drift.
I have been thinking. I have been with so many people, done so many things, learnt so many, understood so many, but yet, I have been wondering as to why I make the same mistakes that I did earlier. Why is it, as a human, to let go certain things that are no longer holding good. Why is it that certain emotions, feelings, never decide to disappear.. When I think of all these things, only one thing comes in my mind. The quest continues...
Many do not realize this in their daily life and when their expected results do not show up, they play the best known game to humanity, THE BLAME GAME. It is in this game that fingers start pointing in opposite directions. They get pissed off with everything that is happening to them and around them. It is during this time that they take the most stupid and irrelevant decisions for their lives, which eventually, ends up making them regret taking it. This is not something that I have seen once so far. I see it every day. Every hour. And think of this nature most of the time, wondering what can I do to ensure that I would not be in such a situation.
Ever since I thought about the time that was being wasted in my life and ever since I decided to use it for good and for betterment of things around me and for me, my outloook at thing changed drastically. For instance,
1. When I say something, I think again, Wonder if I really had to say it. This has led me to be more quiet and do more.
2. When I work on something that I should not be doing, I think. I think as to who should be doing and I find out the reason why that person is not doing it. Help him / her to accept their responsibility and make them do it.
3. When I am on call, I think if it is really needed for me to be on the call. I used to talk a lot, but I realized that, most of my time, the one that I could use for myself was being given away. Not that it was not helping the other person, That's the essence of any conversation I like to have, helping the other person, I do it, but a times, get drifted away. Now, my motto is to reduce that drift.
I have been thinking. I have been with so many people, done so many things, learnt so many, understood so many, but yet, I have been wondering as to why I make the same mistakes that I did earlier. Why is it, as a human, to let go certain things that are no longer holding good. Why is it that certain emotions, feelings, never decide to disappear.. When I think of all these things, only one thing comes in my mind. The quest continues...
My Dream..
While I am writing on my next article on my blog, I get a call from an unknown number. I love the ringtone I have assigned for any calls I get> So I take a while to pick the call. After10 seconds, I pick the call. The voice on the other side is very intriguing. It reminded me of the voice of narration in the movie "No country for old men". Similar voice, A voice that had so much of depth in it. A deep understanding of worldly things and beyond anyone else's thinking was reflecting in that voice.
"I know you probably would not have expected the call at this time of the day." I was saying to myself. "oh yes, it is 3am".
The man continued talking. "There is something that you need to know and do certain things."
I replied "What are you talking about and Do I know you?"
"No. Probably you will. Sooner."
"What is it that you are referring to?"
"You need to go to this place for knowing the answers for the questions that you have at the moment and answers for many more things."
'I think this is a joke. I am not interested in this conversation."
"Make a note of this address" told the man on the line to me.
Realizing that he indeed was serious about it, I make a note of it.
"Leave and arrive there as soon as possible". There was silence for a moment. I replied "But.." Interrupting me, the man said " See you there!"
With a lot of hesitancy and sarcasm in my mind, I begin to think. Many questions started to pounce at me. It was as though a pandora's box was opened. Why did I get the call? Who was that guy? What did he mean I need to know and do certain things? What am I supposed to know? Why should I go to this address? Will I be meeting this guy? many more adding to the woe.
The more I thought, the more I became curious. I thought it was a passing moment. But something in me was telling me that I was supposed to take on this journey. I guess we all call this as our gut feeling. Because, it is the gut feeling that gives us directions when the mind is overloaded with too much of thinking process and thoughts. Take for an example of we not doing certain things, which if we did, could have proven lethal for our very being. Hence, in order that I was listening to the correct inner voice, I made a decision.
Two hours later, I was sitting in the train. It took me a research of 15 minutes online to find the directions to go to the place, whose address was given to me by the anonymous caller. Almost every site told me that there was no flight to the place. I had to travel 6 hours in train followed by a health wrecking journey of 8 hours in the bus.
I managed to get myself a ticket, bored myself into the train, struggled past the initial huddle of luggage of a couple. I pity the husband as well as the wife. Walked past few compartments. Some had kids jumping, some were filled with old people, talking about their good old days. Considering my anxious moments of the journey, I decided to find myself a place that was secluded, which would give me enough time and silence that would let me hear my inner voices. As the train started moving, my heart started thumping harder and faster and there was some kind of panic in me. Something was telling me to get off the train and run back to my normal life. I said "Satan, get lost. I am not heeding to your advice." I smiled.
After a while into the journey, I saw the trees dancing to the tune of the wind. Animals resting in the sound music made by the branches and leaves, which never had a chance to rest due to relentless wind.
Thoughts. They came back again. "Is this really necessary? Should I do it? Why was I asked to do this? Did the guy call other people in the same way? Was someone trying to kill me? " Than I realized, and told to myself, may be it is a quest that I was avoiding for a long time. May be..
After I reached the place, I got off the train. Walked to the care taker of the railway station and showed him the piece of paper. Gesturing him, I asked him where the place was and how far it is. He was surprised and wanted to say something to me. Somehow, he managed to suppress it. He told me I had to take a bus and travel almost 8 hours and it was not going to be an easy journey as the road was too terrible. Heeding to his suggestion, I walked out of the station, walked past few shops, and entered a huge open space. Few buses were parked. I managed to find a bus that went to the place on the paper.
The journey was too far from better. For 8 hours, though I was on a machine, I felt I was sitting in a cart. What could have taken 3 hours journey in urban area, took 8 hours in this down trodden rural area. After 4 hours of travelling, the bus started its path on a hill. Until then I had no faint idea that I was going to a hill station. I was now happy. I just started taking pictures from my camera. The views were fabulous. I just wanted to capture as much as I could. After almost 8 hours and 20 minutes, I reached the place.
Walking past few buildings, I saw a huge gate. I was tempted to know what was in that. It had a marvelous design. just then, I saw an old man. He was sitting at few blocks away from the huge gate. I walked to him and asked him, "Good afternoon sir, I have been asked to come to this place by an anonymous caller. Not sure if what I say makes sense, but this is the address I was asked to find. Can you please help me with that?"
Without even looking at it, the old man said, "My child, you might want to take rest for some time, enjoy the stupendous beauty of this hill station, have nice dinner and than search for the place in the morning, tomorrow."
I was reluctant with his answers and was taken aback. I told to myself, "what a loser he is." and slowly started to walk past the man. But to my surprise, he called me back, and asked "I think the address is of some importance to you. Let me have a look at it. But why are you here?'
Without saying a word, I passed the piece of paper to him. His eyes went wide open, he had the same expression as the care taker of the railway station. I was excited that something really unexpected was in store for me, at the same time I was worried as well. I was not prepared yet. The old man gave the paper back. He looked at me, and said, "You were wondering what was in that gate, dint you? Why do not you have a look by going inside?"
I was astonished that he had read my thoughts. I walked past the gate, and found nothing inside. It was a plain ground, and it was the same as far as my sight could reach. No thing, not even one. I came back out of the gate, told the same to the man. he said "Child, sometimes things do not appear as they really are. You need to listen to your inner voice and see in a way that you normally look at things."
I said "Ok. I will try again. But this time when I come back, you need to tel me where that address is." He nodded his head.
Holding my breath, I walked into the gate. To my surprise, I saw a tree at a long distance. I was afraid. Came out running, told the same to the old man. He said "It is a sign. Follow it. Do not give up. Here is where my help to you ends."
I felt apple in my throat. I was like "what the hell just happened?"......... I went back in, and started walking towards the tree. It was at a long distance. I was walking for almost 30 minutes. I was thirsty and hungry and tired. I wanted to rest. But, as the old man had told, i did not give up. I walked, walked and walked until I reached the tree.
There was a note, that was sculptured on the trunk of the huge tree. It said:
" Here is the starting point of your journey and this is where it was destined to being, You will face many challenges. How you view at them is your view. End result will always favor you."
I was confused, surprised, hearth thumping, I could hear it. Blood circulating at a much higher pace. No directions to go, no other things to see. I remembered the old man saying "sometimes things do not appear as they really are.. " I closed my eyes for few seconds and thought myself of buildings. I opened my eyes. I was stunned. Breath taking. I had buildings all around me. Malls, skyscrapers, many more to view. It was as though I was in an imaginary world which would make me see things that I wanted to see. But something was still missing.
I started walking. It was scary to see the place with no people in.it. I finally saw a grocery mall. There was a man. I walked into it, and I told him about what had happened all the while. He did not respond. He continued to do what he was probably good at. flipping the currency notes and counting them like a machine.
I was beginning to wonder and think as to how I can make him talk to me. I asked him, "Sir, do you think what I said you makes any sense to you or to someone els?" He looked at me as though the answer was in me. I did not know what to do. It is then that something told me to turn to my right and look into the store. I was shocked. I saw the person whom I love the most in the world and there she was in the mall just few yards right to me. just when I began to think what this meant, something rang. A huge sound. familiar sound. It started going louder and louder....
I opened my eyes. It was 1040 am. My cellphone was ringing. Same ringtone, unknown caller..........
"I know you probably would not have expected the call at this time of the day." I was saying to myself. "oh yes, it is 3am".
The man continued talking. "There is something that you need to know and do certain things."
I replied "What are you talking about and Do I know you?"
"No. Probably you will. Sooner."
"What is it that you are referring to?"
"You need to go to this place for knowing the answers for the questions that you have at the moment and answers for many more things."
'I think this is a joke. I am not interested in this conversation."
"Make a note of this address" told the man on the line to me.
Realizing that he indeed was serious about it, I make a note of it.
"Leave and arrive there as soon as possible". There was silence for a moment. I replied "But.." Interrupting me, the man said " See you there!"
With a lot of hesitancy and sarcasm in my mind, I begin to think. Many questions started to pounce at me. It was as though a pandora's box was opened. Why did I get the call? Who was that guy? What did he mean I need to know and do certain things? What am I supposed to know? Why should I go to this address? Will I be meeting this guy? many more adding to the woe.
The more I thought, the more I became curious. I thought it was a passing moment. But something in me was telling me that I was supposed to take on this journey. I guess we all call this as our gut feeling. Because, it is the gut feeling that gives us directions when the mind is overloaded with too much of thinking process and thoughts. Take for an example of we not doing certain things, which if we did, could have proven lethal for our very being. Hence, in order that I was listening to the correct inner voice, I made a decision.
Two hours later, I was sitting in the train. It took me a research of 15 minutes online to find the directions to go to the place, whose address was given to me by the anonymous caller. Almost every site told me that there was no flight to the place. I had to travel 6 hours in train followed by a health wrecking journey of 8 hours in the bus.
I managed to get myself a ticket, bored myself into the train, struggled past the initial huddle of luggage of a couple. I pity the husband as well as the wife. Walked past few compartments. Some had kids jumping, some were filled with old people, talking about their good old days. Considering my anxious moments of the journey, I decided to find myself a place that was secluded, which would give me enough time and silence that would let me hear my inner voices. As the train started moving, my heart started thumping harder and faster and there was some kind of panic in me. Something was telling me to get off the train and run back to my normal life. I said "Satan, get lost. I am not heeding to your advice." I smiled.
After a while into the journey, I saw the trees dancing to the tune of the wind. Animals resting in the sound music made by the branches and leaves, which never had a chance to rest due to relentless wind.
Thoughts. They came back again. "Is this really necessary? Should I do it? Why was I asked to do this? Did the guy call other people in the same way? Was someone trying to kill me? " Than I realized, and told to myself, may be it is a quest that I was avoiding for a long time. May be..
After I reached the place, I got off the train. Walked to the care taker of the railway station and showed him the piece of paper. Gesturing him, I asked him where the place was and how far it is. He was surprised and wanted to say something to me. Somehow, he managed to suppress it. He told me I had to take a bus and travel almost 8 hours and it was not going to be an easy journey as the road was too terrible. Heeding to his suggestion, I walked out of the station, walked past few shops, and entered a huge open space. Few buses were parked. I managed to find a bus that went to the place on the paper.
The journey was too far from better. For 8 hours, though I was on a machine, I felt I was sitting in a cart. What could have taken 3 hours journey in urban area, took 8 hours in this down trodden rural area. After 4 hours of travelling, the bus started its path on a hill. Until then I had no faint idea that I was going to a hill station. I was now happy. I just started taking pictures from my camera. The views were fabulous. I just wanted to capture as much as I could. After almost 8 hours and 20 minutes, I reached the place.
Walking past few buildings, I saw a huge gate. I was tempted to know what was in that. It had a marvelous design. just then, I saw an old man. He was sitting at few blocks away from the huge gate. I walked to him and asked him, "Good afternoon sir, I have been asked to come to this place by an anonymous caller. Not sure if what I say makes sense, but this is the address I was asked to find. Can you please help me with that?"
Without even looking at it, the old man said, "My child, you might want to take rest for some time, enjoy the stupendous beauty of this hill station, have nice dinner and than search for the place in the morning, tomorrow."
I was reluctant with his answers and was taken aback. I told to myself, "what a loser he is." and slowly started to walk past the man. But to my surprise, he called me back, and asked "I think the address is of some importance to you. Let me have a look at it. But why are you here?'
Without saying a word, I passed the piece of paper to him. His eyes went wide open, he had the same expression as the care taker of the railway station. I was excited that something really unexpected was in store for me, at the same time I was worried as well. I was not prepared yet. The old man gave the paper back. He looked at me, and said, "You were wondering what was in that gate, dint you? Why do not you have a look by going inside?"
I was astonished that he had read my thoughts. I walked past the gate, and found nothing inside. It was a plain ground, and it was the same as far as my sight could reach. No thing, not even one. I came back out of the gate, told the same to the man. he said "Child, sometimes things do not appear as they really are. You need to listen to your inner voice and see in a way that you normally look at things."
I said "Ok. I will try again. But this time when I come back, you need to tel me where that address is." He nodded his head.
Holding my breath, I walked into the gate. To my surprise, I saw a tree at a long distance. I was afraid. Came out running, told the same to the old man. He said "It is a sign. Follow it. Do not give up. Here is where my help to you ends."
I felt apple in my throat. I was like "what the hell just happened?"......... I went back in, and started walking towards the tree. It was at a long distance. I was walking for almost 30 minutes. I was thirsty and hungry and tired. I wanted to rest. But, as the old man had told, i did not give up. I walked, walked and walked until I reached the tree.
There was a note, that was sculptured on the trunk of the huge tree. It said:
" Here is the starting point of your journey and this is where it was destined to being, You will face many challenges. How you view at them is your view. End result will always favor you."
I was confused, surprised, hearth thumping, I could hear it. Blood circulating at a much higher pace. No directions to go, no other things to see. I remembered the old man saying "sometimes things do not appear as they really are.. " I closed my eyes for few seconds and thought myself of buildings. I opened my eyes. I was stunned. Breath taking. I had buildings all around me. Malls, skyscrapers, many more to view. It was as though I was in an imaginary world which would make me see things that I wanted to see. But something was still missing.
I started walking. It was scary to see the place with no people in.it. I finally saw a grocery mall. There was a man. I walked into it, and I told him about what had happened all the while. He did not respond. He continued to do what he was probably good at. flipping the currency notes and counting them like a machine.
I was beginning to wonder and think as to how I can make him talk to me. I asked him, "Sir, do you think what I said you makes any sense to you or to someone els?" He looked at me as though the answer was in me. I did not know what to do. It is then that something told me to turn to my right and look into the store. I was shocked. I saw the person whom I love the most in the world and there she was in the mall just few yards right to me. just when I began to think what this meant, something rang. A huge sound. familiar sound. It started going louder and louder....
I opened my eyes. It was 1040 am. My cellphone was ringing. Same ringtone, unknown caller..........
Birthday - I write this on my birthday
Two and half decades ago a boy was born. He did not know what he would end up being. He celebrates his birthday today. Many of his friends try to contact him on his birthday to wish him, But as always, he goes into a kind of hibernation on this day. The one day in entire calendar year that he does not like is this day. I tried to talk to him and know how he felt today.
It was difficult to talk to him. Somehow I convinced him to talk to me and share with me few things. There was a very serious expression on his face. He was wanting seclusion from all the things.
I asked "How are you feeling today?"
"Today I turn another year older and have lived another year successfully. Today I step onto another year and another journey with ups and downs. I am 25 years old now. Looking back at my past, I am trying to remember 25 best things that I have done until now. I try to list them. But I cant figure out any " he said.
"But why do you feel like that? "
He replied, "Today I realized that I have around 400 and odd friends. But I do not even have 25 people whom I can completely count on. 25. The number seems so good to hear. But today is the day that i start my true journey of life. All these years I have learnt the rules, learnt the tricks. learnt the pitfalls, and merciless results. Today I have decided to bring them in action. "
I did not know how to respond to that. I let him continue..
"Today when I looked back on my past, one thing that made me happy is the person that I have always been. I never compromised on my principles, on my key performing areas in every possible domain of my life. I realized how difficult it has been in the last 2.5 years. Sometimes what happens in few days or in a day changes the course for the life time and the same has happened to me in the course of last few months."
I said, "That's true. Some incidents or situations bring in changes that will change the momentum and direction of life. "
To which he replied with sternness in his voice "Today I have chosen to be the person I have always wanted to be. And 25 years from now, I will look back to this day and say only one thing. "I lived and did what I chose to be and do."
There was silence. It was the moment when both of us did not want to say anything. I was recollecting all that he said. "Today I have decided t bring them in action", "Today I decide the outcome of my next 25 years".. Those things just continue to echo in my mind.
Breaking the silence, he said "I turn 25 today and my goal just amplified 25 times. "
It was difficult to talk to him. Somehow I convinced him to talk to me and share with me few things. There was a very serious expression on his face. He was wanting seclusion from all the things.
I asked "How are you feeling today?"
"Today I turn another year older and have lived another year successfully. Today I step onto another year and another journey with ups and downs. I am 25 years old now. Looking back at my past, I am trying to remember 25 best things that I have done until now. I try to list them. But I cant figure out any " he said.
"But why do you feel like that? "
He replied, "Today I realized that I have around 400 and odd friends. But I do not even have 25 people whom I can completely count on. 25. The number seems so good to hear. But today is the day that i start my true journey of life. All these years I have learnt the rules, learnt the tricks. learnt the pitfalls, and merciless results. Today I have decided to bring them in action. "
I did not know how to respond to that. I let him continue..
"Today when I looked back on my past, one thing that made me happy is the person that I have always been. I never compromised on my principles, on my key performing areas in every possible domain of my life. I realized how difficult it has been in the last 2.5 years. Sometimes what happens in few days or in a day changes the course for the life time and the same has happened to me in the course of last few months."
I said, "That's true. Some incidents or situations bring in changes that will change the momentum and direction of life. "
To which he replied with sternness in his voice "Today I have chosen to be the person I have always wanted to be. And 25 years from now, I will look back to this day and say only one thing. "I lived and did what I chose to be and do."
There was silence. It was the moment when both of us did not want to say anything. I was recollecting all that he said. "Today I have decided t bring them in action", "Today I decide the outcome of my next 25 years".. Those things just continue to echo in my mind.
Breaking the silence, he said "I turn 25 today and my goal just amplified 25 times. "
Unwanted..
How many times in life have we really come across elements that we felt were never useful?
How many times did we feel that we were in an unwanted situations?
How many times did we feel that we did unwanted things?
How many times did we come across any such similar situations? Probably some were associated with situations, some with circumstances, some with things and mostly with humans.
On an average, in a day, I usually come across many such situations. If it were not relating to non living things around me, it would be with living things. I consider myself as different genre of a tree / herbs / shrubs. Most of the times, the so called unwanted things that I come across are most wanted for the person living in it. It then falls under my territory to decide if I want to be a part in it or not to be in it.
While I am waiting for my cab to pick me up, I see people loafing around on the street. I feel like why cant that person do something productive out of his life. And than I think again and say to myself "may be the person is doing something that probably I am not aware of."
While in the cab, some of my colleagues pass some stupid comments on traffic. I feel it is unwanted, But I think again, and that's when I realize that the person is actually venting out frustration.
While I am sitting at my desk and working diligently, I see some elements doing nothing and yet complaining when work is thrown at them. That is when I realize that I better not think too much about such irrelevant and non important things and carry on with my work.
One thing I have learnt being amidst all these unwanted situations is the fact that things have dual nature. What is important to me, might not be the same to the other person. What I see as the most wanted aspect of my life is definitely the unwanted aspect for someone else. It is this thought that keeps me driving for the next day and it does everyday.
It all depends on how we look at things and how we react to them. Unwanted or wanted, one thing that is common in both is the term "want" and that's what matters at the end.
How many times did we feel that we were in an unwanted situations?
How many times did we feel that we did unwanted things?
How many times did we come across any such similar situations? Probably some were associated with situations, some with circumstances, some with things and mostly with humans.
On an average, in a day, I usually come across many such situations. If it were not relating to non living things around me, it would be with living things. I consider myself as different genre of a tree / herbs / shrubs. Most of the times, the so called unwanted things that I come across are most wanted for the person living in it. It then falls under my territory to decide if I want to be a part in it or not to be in it.
While I am waiting for my cab to pick me up, I see people loafing around on the street. I feel like why cant that person do something productive out of his life. And than I think again and say to myself "may be the person is doing something that probably I am not aware of."
While in the cab, some of my colleagues pass some stupid comments on traffic. I feel it is unwanted, But I think again, and that's when I realize that the person is actually venting out frustration.
While I am sitting at my desk and working diligently, I see some elements doing nothing and yet complaining when work is thrown at them. That is when I realize that I better not think too much about such irrelevant and non important things and carry on with my work.
One thing I have learnt being amidst all these unwanted situations is the fact that things have dual nature. What is important to me, might not be the same to the other person. What I see as the most wanted aspect of my life is definitely the unwanted aspect for someone else. It is this thought that keeps me driving for the next day and it does everyday.
It all depends on how we look at things and how we react to them. Unwanted or wanted, one thing that is common in both is the term "want" and that's what matters at the end.
Off Late..
There have been many incidents, many moments, many situations, many untold things, that kept recurring. They kept recurring, because there was a result that was in the making. Its not difficult for me to say what I want to say to anyone. I just say it. Its not difficult for me to express myself. I would just express myself.
I set out in my life, with a thought of making my career the best thing that I could give my life. I set out 2.5 years back. Little did I then know that things would just get messy, trivial, complicated as time proceeded. I set out thinking that i would have those around me still with me through to the end of my journey.
But things just change. Some momentarily. Some like a slow poison. Some like an impact, and some drastically. I realized that one thing that keeps on ticking irrespective of what happens around, its nothing but time. In my life until now, I did find people who were as good as time and they never stopped what happened around them. How I wish I attain such a phase in my life too. I have a dream and I will hang onto it. For I know, one day, it will be a reality.
Off late, all those thoughts, those motivational thoughts I used to feed myself, those principles I have been maintaining in me, those people I care a lot for, everything just seems to be shattered. I feel cheated in life now. I want to vent out my anger, but I cant. I want to show my hatredness towards certain things, but I prefer not to, as it will cause destruction to me. Its like a weed that is growing in me using my resources that were not meant for it. Off late, I have been changing. The metamorphosis has begun. But I wont let it continue. I want the essence in me to be me and nothing other than me. Off late, the series of battle with myself has begun. Off late, I have realized that if I do not accept loss, I wont be able to enjoy the happiness of a win.
I set out in my life, with a thought of making my career the best thing that I could give my life. I set out 2.5 years back. Little did I then know that things would just get messy, trivial, complicated as time proceeded. I set out thinking that i would have those around me still with me through to the end of my journey.
But things just change. Some momentarily. Some like a slow poison. Some like an impact, and some drastically. I realized that one thing that keeps on ticking irrespective of what happens around, its nothing but time. In my life until now, I did find people who were as good as time and they never stopped what happened around them. How I wish I attain such a phase in my life too. I have a dream and I will hang onto it. For I know, one day, it will be a reality.
Off late, all those thoughts, those motivational thoughts I used to feed myself, those principles I have been maintaining in me, those people I care a lot for, everything just seems to be shattered. I feel cheated in life now. I want to vent out my anger, but I cant. I want to show my hatredness towards certain things, but I prefer not to, as it will cause destruction to me. Its like a weed that is growing in me using my resources that were not meant for it. Off late, I have been changing. The metamorphosis has begun. But I wont let it continue. I want the essence in me to be me and nothing other than me. Off late, the series of battle with myself has begun. Off late, I have realized that if I do not accept loss, I wont be able to enjoy the happiness of a win.
Conflicts in thinking
If I tend to think the kind of a person I have been in my past and the kind of person I am in the present to what I would become in future, I see little or minimal change. Physically I have changed. But essence is still me. It does not matter to me what others think about me, for my struggle is mine.
If I were to mention or pen down my weakness, I guess you would be shocked as much as I am. Like a saying goes, "You are as strong as your weakest link", I am as strong as my weakest link too.
For me, seeing in perfection has become an addiction. Be it the way things are kept at home, be it the way things happen at work, be it the way things are done, ordered, said, expected, arranged, talked about. Be it anything and everything around me, I expect things to be just perfect and if they are not, I tend to streamline things so that they would be perfect.
In the process of being such a person and doing such things, I have lost many things, not materialistic, but the unrealistic highly valuable things, that probably wont be able to return, but on the contrary, I have gained confidence that my outcome of my behavior towards perfection is gearing up for a much bigger showdown. For I know one thing that is for sure. What I am today, is definitely a preview or a teaser of what I will be in days or years to come.
Many say to me, to change the way I am. Many say to me that I have changed. Many say to me that being honest in everything that I do and everything that I expect is a mere fantasy in this totally unmerciful and competitive world. I wish I could think like they think. But the walls of my brain with the content in it think for perfection. Its the tank of perfection in me.
I can only say one think to all. I wont change my persona on this and this will be my attire for many more years to come.
If I were to mention or pen down my weakness, I guess you would be shocked as much as I am. Like a saying goes, "You are as strong as your weakest link", I am as strong as my weakest link too.
For me, seeing in perfection has become an addiction. Be it the way things are kept at home, be it the way things happen at work, be it the way things are done, ordered, said, expected, arranged, talked about. Be it anything and everything around me, I expect things to be just perfect and if they are not, I tend to streamline things so that they would be perfect.
In the process of being such a person and doing such things, I have lost many things, not materialistic, but the unrealistic highly valuable things, that probably wont be able to return, but on the contrary, I have gained confidence that my outcome of my behavior towards perfection is gearing up for a much bigger showdown. For I know one thing that is for sure. What I am today, is definitely a preview or a teaser of what I will be in days or years to come.
Many say to me, to change the way I am. Many say to me that I have changed. Many say to me that being honest in everything that I do and everything that I expect is a mere fantasy in this totally unmerciful and competitive world. I wish I could think like they think. But the walls of my brain with the content in it think for perfection. Its the tank of perfection in me.
I can only say one think to all. I wont change my persona on this and this will be my attire for many more years to come.
Control: But why?
I had a very interesting conversation with a good friend of mine last week. We were having different opinions of how we were trying to control our thinking and life. We somehow had a vast difference in the way we thought and we decided it was good not to end up arguing on it. However, as my bad habbit goes, I tend to think a lot. So, back home, I was thinking as to what benifits can reall controlling give to a human.
I was thinking of some of my friends who had achieved a lot in early age. Some were still struggling. Some were still trying to realise where to go. But, in general, everyone felt positive about themself to a degree to which they felt they had control of their life. On the contrary, those who were struggling, felt negative about thmselves to the degree to which they felt they dint have enough control or were probably controlled by external forces of other people around them. I was, I am, and I guess, I will continue to be surprised by this great contradiction.
I did happen to speak to a friend of mine on this. He told 'When I sense that I have enough control on what is happening around me which involves me, I have more personal power'. Ever since he told me these words, they seem to have begun a new process in my mind. There have been times when i felt I was controlled by people, parents, my colleagues, my managers. I felt so out of control. There was negative energy all around me, anxious most of the time, felt restless, felt I was unable to cope up with the fast changing world around me.
For the fast changing things around me that brought the unknown side in me which was not required, i have something to say.. "Its time to change!!!!"
I was thinking of some of my friends who had achieved a lot in early age. Some were still struggling. Some were still trying to realise where to go. But, in general, everyone felt positive about themself to a degree to which they felt they had control of their life. On the contrary, those who were struggling, felt negative about thmselves to the degree to which they felt they dint have enough control or were probably controlled by external forces of other people around them. I was, I am, and I guess, I will continue to be surprised by this great contradiction.
I did happen to speak to a friend of mine on this. He told 'When I sense that I have enough control on what is happening around me which involves me, I have more personal power'. Ever since he told me these words, they seem to have begun a new process in my mind. There have been times when i felt I was controlled by people, parents, my colleagues, my managers. I felt so out of control. There was negative energy all around me, anxious most of the time, felt restless, felt I was unable to cope up with the fast changing world around me.
For the fast changing things around me that brought the unknown side in me which was not required, i have something to say.. "Its time to change!!!!"
Change the way you think, your world will change for sure
If there is an effect in your life, such as lack of money, overweight, problems in your relationships, a unsatisfying job or career, or any other difficulty, just try tracing that effect back to the things that you did to cause it, and by removing the causes, you can begin o remove the effects, sometimes immediately.
The key to enjoying more of what people call luck is for you to engage in more of the actions that are more likely to bring about the consequences that you desire. For me, my daily activity included careful planning, organizing my work before I began, selecting the right people for the job, delegating properly, supervising intelligently, and vigorously executing the required tasks. I realised that in my life today, every aspect possible, is the result of my past decisions and behaviours. Its just like the saying "As you sow, so shall you reap.."
Like the saying goes, a man becomes what he thinks about most of the time. This was true, is true and will definitely continue to be true as well.
There were two men who were in the jail, were serving their punishment, At the end of the day, each went bakc to their respective cells. What would you think was the difference in them? You might think that they both were of same genre, a criminal. Probably both were ruthless at heart and were cold blooded. Probably they were. One saw the mud, and always worried about his past. He cribbed, cribbed and cribbed. Then he wept wept wept and wept. On the contrary, the other man, from his cell, through the window, looked at the stars and dreamt. He dreamt a dream of being out of the prison and leading a happy life. He reassured himself that things would be great again.
As per the predictions made by the famous Harvard University, there are few things that might strike a blow into yout thinking process.
Firstly, There would be more changes this year that ever before.
Secondly, there would be more competition than ever before.
Thirdly, there would be more opportunities than ever before.
But, those who do not adjust to the rapid rate of change, respond to the increase in competition, or take advancatage of the new opportunities available would be out of their job within two years.
A person's belief about himself creates an expectations. The expectations determine the attitude. The attitude determines the behaviour and the way a person behaves to other people. This inturn determines how other people behave with that person. This completely falls in sync with a famous saying "What is going on outside of you is a reflection or manisfestation of what is goig on inside you"..
Change the way you think, your world will change for sure..
The key to enjoying more of what people call luck is for you to engage in more of the actions that are more likely to bring about the consequences that you desire. For me, my daily activity included careful planning, organizing my work before I began, selecting the right people for the job, delegating properly, supervising intelligently, and vigorously executing the required tasks. I realised that in my life today, every aspect possible, is the result of my past decisions and behaviours. Its just like the saying "As you sow, so shall you reap.."
Like the saying goes, a man becomes what he thinks about most of the time. This was true, is true and will definitely continue to be true as well.
There were two men who were in the jail, were serving their punishment, At the end of the day, each went bakc to their respective cells. What would you think was the difference in them? You might think that they both were of same genre, a criminal. Probably both were ruthless at heart and were cold blooded. Probably they were. One saw the mud, and always worried about his past. He cribbed, cribbed and cribbed. Then he wept wept wept and wept. On the contrary, the other man, from his cell, through the window, looked at the stars and dreamt. He dreamt a dream of being out of the prison and leading a happy life. He reassured himself that things would be great again.
As per the predictions made by the famous Harvard University, there are few things that might strike a blow into yout thinking process.
Firstly, There would be more changes this year that ever before.
Secondly, there would be more competition than ever before.
Thirdly, there would be more opportunities than ever before.
But, those who do not adjust to the rapid rate of change, respond to the increase in competition, or take advancatage of the new opportunities available would be out of their job within two years.
A person's belief about himself creates an expectations. The expectations determine the attitude. The attitude determines the behaviour and the way a person behaves to other people. This inturn determines how other people behave with that person. This completely falls in sync with a famous saying "What is going on outside of you is a reflection or manisfestation of what is goig on inside you"..
Change the way you think, your world will change for sure..
Chance versus Luck
When people achieve great success faster than others, they are immediately accussed of having good luck. If peple make a mess of their lives, largely due to their own shortcomings, they dismiss it as bad luck. All of life is like a casino. Some have had success in gaming tables of life, and some not. Most people, including me for many years, never understood the difference between Chance and Luck.
When i checked on it, I was surprised. It was quite eveident that I was surprised. Chance refers to gambling, to casinos, to blackjack,poker, slot mahcines, and horse racing. In games of chance, the outcome is totally and completely out of control for the player. There is little or no influnece on the result by th player. The level of risk is so high that the chance of winning it over a ong period of time is almost zero.
But, Luck is different, totally different. it is like the probabilities in action. Whever you see a person who has succeeded greatly, you would definitely notice a series or a chain of events that have happened in the past to achieve a particular outcome. The lucky person, for sure, did many things in combination, which staggeringly increased the likelihood that his or her desired goal could be achieved.
All problems appear very simple when solved. The great victorry of present was th result of a series of small victorie that went unnoticed.
When i checked on it, I was surprised. It was quite eveident that I was surprised. Chance refers to gambling, to casinos, to blackjack,poker, slot mahcines, and horse racing. In games of chance, the outcome is totally and completely out of control for the player. There is little or no influnece on the result by th player. The level of risk is so high that the chance of winning it over a ong period of time is almost zero.
But, Luck is different, totally different. it is like the probabilities in action. Whever you see a person who has succeeded greatly, you would definitely notice a series or a chain of events that have happened in the past to achieve a particular outcome. The lucky person, for sure, did many things in combination, which staggeringly increased the likelihood that his or her desired goal could be achieved.
All problems appear very simple when solved. The great victorry of present was th result of a series of small victorie that went unnoticed.
Questions I ask myself
I dont remember who said this, but some one surely did say it. "You only have to succeed the last time". What a statement that is. I may fail over and over again, but all it takes is one big success to wipe out all my previous failures. But I guess, it is an after effect, and every such effect makes me ask certain questions to myself.
"What did I do right?", by asking so, I analyze every single thing that I did right in the situation, So what if it turned out to be a disaster? I must have done atleast one thing rightly. And thats definitely a motivation factor. I will surely smile when I think of a situatio when I was right.
"What would I do differently if I had the situation repeat or had to do all over again?", by asking so, I can appreciate life for teaching me valuable lessons that I was taught in the process. It makes me think of future and helps me motivate to do my best.
Everytime I ask these questions, I learn, understand, accept the facts, face the reality and grow. Despite the failures I have had in life, I would never want to lose out on enthusiasm, for I know its value, Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm in the history of mankind and nothing will ever be achieved without it either.
"What did I do right?", by asking so, I analyze every single thing that I did right in the situation, So what if it turned out to be a disaster? I must have done atleast one thing rightly. And thats definitely a motivation factor. I will surely smile when I think of a situatio when I was right.
"What would I do differently if I had the situation repeat or had to do all over again?", by asking so, I can appreciate life for teaching me valuable lessons that I was taught in the process. It makes me think of future and helps me motivate to do my best.
Everytime I ask these questions, I learn, understand, accept the facts, face the reality and grow. Despite the failures I have had in life, I would never want to lose out on enthusiasm, for I know its value, Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm in the history of mankind and nothing will ever be achieved without it either.
Fear and its manifestations
It is not what is going on around you but what is going on within you that is determining everything you are and everything you will ever accomplish. For that, one would need COURAGE. Like Winston Churchill once said "Courage is rightly considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it all the others depend."
I had been thinking a lot on this. I was trying to figure out what is that undermines everryone from achieving their goals. What is it that counter-attacks courage so much so that the person is shattered and stripped off his/her self-confidence. Realistically speaking, the opposition of courage has been FEAR. Not since a day or two. Not since a year or a decade. It has been the same since the NOMAD age. Ever since human existed, like a two faced coin and a double edged sword, courage and fear go had in had. The emotion of fear will be and has always been the deadliest enemy to success.It sabotages possibilities and hopes of every individual.
I guess, it all goes with an individuality of a person. Until one is committed, there is a hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creativity, there is an elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills innumerable ideas and splendid plans.
I have always wondered why everyone has a typical pessismitic approach to the concept of fear. I beleive there is a good thing in it. A good thing of all the fears that you hold back. They are all learned. When i was kid, i never had a fear. I was unafraid, had no natural fears, except of falling down and darkness. I could express myself without an ounc eof doubt in my mind, I am sure it is with all as well. But as I grew up, parents, friends, teachers, people around me, all, one by one, began to manifest the power of fear in me. Each had a way of injecting fear in my mind. "Stop", "Get away from there!", "Put that down!!", "You are not supposed to do that" bla bla bla... and it went on..
As a result, at an early age, like any other kid, unknowingly, at my unconscious level, I developed a belief that I was too small to do the things and was probably weak and not yet ready. In other words, I started developing the fear of failure in me, which by the way, has now been tamed well and does not overpower me.
However, before I had even realised, the fear had started manifesting in different forms. Fear of rejection, Fears of disapproval and many more to the agony of my pain. I always beleived in few things. Mild fears of failure and rejection are abslutely good. They can act as a motivation fators for any individual to do what is necessary to succeed. Mild feelings are inadequacy and inferiority can drive a person to become the kind of person that the others will admire and respect. They kinda spur an individual. For example, if the fear of rejection is manifested in a valid consideration for the feelings and opinions of others, it can be helpful to an individual's position. Even the desire to be likede and accepted by others lies at the basis of respect for common courtesy, manners, politeness, and every other societal virtues that probably exist.
I tell myself that I dont have to do anything that I dont want to do and I can do anything that I really want to do. it kinda fills me with self confidence and helps me to take full control of my emotions and also helps me to override my conditional fears.
Like the actor Glen Ford once said, "If you do not do the thing you fear, the fear controls your life." But I like what Ralph Waldo Emerson told. Being a famous poet, what he said makes so much of sense. "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain"
I had been thinking a lot on this. I was trying to figure out what is that undermines everryone from achieving their goals. What is it that counter-attacks courage so much so that the person is shattered and stripped off his/her self-confidence. Realistically speaking, the opposition of courage has been FEAR. Not since a day or two. Not since a year or a decade. It has been the same since the NOMAD age. Ever since human existed, like a two faced coin and a double edged sword, courage and fear go had in had. The emotion of fear will be and has always been the deadliest enemy to success.It sabotages possibilities and hopes of every individual.
I guess, it all goes with an individuality of a person. Until one is committed, there is a hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creativity, there is an elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills innumerable ideas and splendid plans.
I have always wondered why everyone has a typical pessismitic approach to the concept of fear. I beleive there is a good thing in it. A good thing of all the fears that you hold back. They are all learned. When i was kid, i never had a fear. I was unafraid, had no natural fears, except of falling down and darkness. I could express myself without an ounc eof doubt in my mind, I am sure it is with all as well. But as I grew up, parents, friends, teachers, people around me, all, one by one, began to manifest the power of fear in me. Each had a way of injecting fear in my mind. "Stop", "Get away from there!", "Put that down!!", "You are not supposed to do that" bla bla bla... and it went on..
As a result, at an early age, like any other kid, unknowingly, at my unconscious level, I developed a belief that I was too small to do the things and was probably weak and not yet ready. In other words, I started developing the fear of failure in me, which by the way, has now been tamed well and does not overpower me.
However, before I had even realised, the fear had started manifesting in different forms. Fear of rejection, Fears of disapproval and many more to the agony of my pain. I always beleived in few things. Mild fears of failure and rejection are abslutely good. They can act as a motivation fators for any individual to do what is necessary to succeed. Mild feelings are inadequacy and inferiority can drive a person to become the kind of person that the others will admire and respect. They kinda spur an individual. For example, if the fear of rejection is manifested in a valid consideration for the feelings and opinions of others, it can be helpful to an individual's position. Even the desire to be likede and accepted by others lies at the basis of respect for common courtesy, manners, politeness, and every other societal virtues that probably exist.
I tell myself that I dont have to do anything that I dont want to do and I can do anything that I really want to do. it kinda fills me with self confidence and helps me to take full control of my emotions and also helps me to override my conditional fears.
Like the actor Glen Ford once said, "If you do not do the thing you fear, the fear controls your life." But I like what Ralph Waldo Emerson told. Being a famous poet, what he said makes so much of sense. "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain"
Kaitlin: Her quest for happiness(Part 3)
Birds were slowly getting back to their respective nests.. Sooner it would be the time of dusk. A faint tinge of orange colour was taking its shape in the open sky, which would soon be filled with stars. Temperature was dropping down and wind was becoming cooler and cooler. Little did Kaitlin know that she would be out of home for such a long time. With her heart pounding, watching a talking daffodil, trying to learn new things, which she was hoping for, she continued to listen to Bo.
Bo continued, "Life in itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning. Meaning is not to be discovered; it has to be created. You will find meaning only if you create it. It is not lying there somewhere behind the bushes, so you can go and you search a little bit and find it. It is not there like a rock that you will find. It is a poetry to be composed, it is a song to be sung, it is a dance to be danced."
Kaitlin was surprised. She knew there was a mystery, but never did she feel that it would be so easy to understand. She was curious to know more, listen to what Bo had to tell.
"What is the problem that is bothering your heart? In order for us to continue the conversation,I would like to know in specific, all the things, from scratch to what they are now, tell me everything."
"I do not know where to begin from. They are all so intertwined. Everything that appeared as a real image has now turned into a mirage. Every effort, every ounce of energy that I had put into everything that I had done until now, has all gone in vain."
There appeared a tear in her eye. She was in the process. Process of venting out the pain. Bo had seen this several times. This was the starting point of an end and a beginning. An end of suffering, and a beginning of happiness.
Kaitlin continued, "I have been wanting to achieve sucess a lot. I never left any stone unturned. Everyone says future is not written on stone. But I believed in scripting it on my own. Everything was good. I guess, it appeared to be good. Until.."
With a smile on his face, Bo said "Are you hurt because you did not get what you wanted? Gift, some materialistic thing, recognition, success, love, what is it?"
"You have lived in a certain way up to now - don't you want to live in a different way? You have thought in a certain way up to now - don't you want some new glimpses in your being? Then be alert and don't listen to the mind. Mind is your past constantly trying to control your present and your future. It is the dead past which goes on controlling the alive present. Just become alert about it." said Bo.
"The mind does it with this method: it says, "If you don't listen to me, you will not be as efficient as I am." If you do an old thing you can be more efficient because you have done it before. If you do a new thing you cannot be efficient. The mind goes on talking like an economist, an efficiency expert; it goes on saying, "This is easier to do. Why do it the hard way? This is the way of least resistance." said Bo.
Bo continued, "Remember, whenever you have two things, two alternatives, choose the new one. Choose the harder, choose the one in which more awareness will be needed. At the cost of efficiency always choose awareness, and you will create the situation in which meditation will become possible. These are all just situations. Meditation will happen - I am not saying that just by doing them you will get to meditation, but they will be helpful. They will create the necessary situation in you, without which meditation cannot happen. Be less efficient but more creative. Let that be the motive. Don't be bothered too much about utilitarian ends. Rather, constantly remember that you are not here in life to become a commodity. You are not here to become a utility, that is below dignity. Your are not here just to become more and more efficient. You are her e to become more and more alive; you are here to become more and more intelligent; you are here to become more and more happy, ecstatically happy. "
Kaitlin could not relate to what Bo was telling her. She said, "I have asked for so many things. But I have never got them. Infact, I never get them. I had less freinds throughout my life, but now I managed to have many. I compromised with myself and changed myself. I am now living in two worlds. One which reflects my true self. One which is me but never me. It is this world that is bringing everything down upon me. Its as though entire sky with all starts was falling on me"
"Interesting.."
"I some how have begun to feel that void in me which is resenting me from everything."
Bo realised it was time for her to let her know the real truth.
"Have you heard of everlasting happiness? Have you heard anyone in this entire world talk to you about tales of being happily every after? I am sure you would have seen many movies, heard stories, parables. But how many of them are really true? Did you ever try to think as to why such things are being talked about? Have you ever tried to know about it?"
"It is all a mere thought which was acted upon. I have seen and heard enough of those. For some, they motivate, and for some, its a mere movie story. For some the parables are fun, for some, its foolishness. I never rely on that and will never trust upon it." said Kaitlin.
Bo said "Whatever you are feeling is the perfect reflection of the process that is in the making. What you think, what you feel, and what you manifest is always a perfect match. Ask what you want, what u really want. An answer to what you are asking is what universe does for you. It will make it happen for you.You dont ned to know how you will get it, you must bring yourself in an alignment to what you are asking for. Dont feel despair and anger for what you are asking. Begin to feel for what you are asking. When you turn fantasy into fact, you can think more."
"How? How can I do that?"
"Start to have gratitude. What we think about and thank about is what we bring about. Have an attitude of gratitude. Try to visualise. When you do, you materialise. IF you have been there in mind, you will go there in the body", said Bo.
"I find it to difficult to be like that. i do not think I would be able to do that."
"Kaitlin, all it takes is a little effort from you that will change the entire course."
"Do you want me to have gratitude for my manager who does not recognise my skills? Do you want me to have gratitude for the guy? The one with whom I had fallen in love with? Do you want me to thank all my friends, my colleagues, my relatives who never even were there when i really needed them to me? "
"Decide what you want, believe you can have it. Close your eyes and feel you have it. Open eyes and be happy of what you have and let universe take care of the rest. When you have an inspired thought, trust it and act on it. It all depends on how to tame your mind to think and nurture the thought that is developing in you."
"Its hard. it is really hard" sighed Kaitlin..
"Everyone falls in love,and then falls out too.The way to understanding love is rising in love .One must not be stuck with materialistic manifestations of Love. By falling in love you remain a child, by rising in love you mature. And by and by, love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Then it is not that you love this and you dont love that , no. You are simply love, whatsoever is happening, you give your love to it. You touch a rock and you touch as if you r touching ur beloved's body. You look at the tree and u look as u r looking at ur beloved's face. It becomes a state of being, not that you are in love. Now you are love. This is rising, this is not falling."
Bo continued, "Love is beautiful when you rise through it,and love becomes dirty and ugly when you fall through it. And sooner or later you will find that it proves poisonous, it becomes a bondage.You have been caught in it, your freedom has been crushed, your wings have been cut, now you are no more free. By falling in love, you become a possession; you posses and you allow somebody to possess you. You become a thing and you try to convert the other person, you have fallen in love with ,into a thing."
"Look at the husband and wife. They both have become like things, they are no more person. Both are trying to possess each other. Only things can be possesed. A person can never be. There is a clash, then they both become basically enemies.Then they are destructive to each other .Everyone goes on trying to posses the beloved,the lover.This is no longer love, in face when you possess a person, you hate, you destroy. Love should give freedom. Love is freedom. Love will make the beloved more and more free. Love will give wings and love will open the vast sky. It cannot become a prison, an enclosure. "
"Was this the way you have been?", questioned Bo.
Kaitlin was mesmerized with the words of Bo. She was now beginning to realise. Feel and understand and connect to what Bo has been trying to tell her. Because she asked questions, she got answers. Because she refused to believe, she understood and accepted reality.
"There is a saying, 'For every dark cloud there is a silver lining and sun eventually shines'. I guess, I was destined to have this conversation with you. This indeed has made me realise where I have been going wrong and how I have been growing wrong. There were times when i trusted my abilities, had faith that I would succeed, but my thought was not in alignment with my deed. This was the same in my personal life as well as professional life. At times, I did feel like giving it all up, and I did too."
Kaitlin continued, "I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible and how it can ache in places in me that I dint know it was existing in me. No matter what I had done, I still went to sleep, knowing everything, thinking everything and wondering where things went wrong."
There was a resurgence, a new beginning, a new era, a new confindence, a new passion for success in the eyes of Kaitlin. Bo, on seeing the change and effect of the conversation, smiled, for he knew, he made a difference on another soul.
He said, "I know it is hard to believe when anyone says 'I know how you feel', but I actually know how you feel."
There was silence. For few minutes, kaitlin felt, there was something very tranquile about the place, about the environment around her. It was filled with optimism and only streak of negative engery that was present was that of hers. But, it was slowly fading and eventually, it wil die out too.
The dawn had disappeared and the stars had begun to shine, There was darkness hovering over the field of daffodils and the grass went numb. There was a street light glowing at certain distance. Kaitlin got up, with a smile on her face and wiped the marks that tears had laid on her beautiful face.
"If i come here again, and keep coming here every now and then, will you continue to talk to me?"
"I will not assure you on that. But, I will surely be there when you need me the most, in those tuff and trivial and painful times. To give you what you need the most. Console. I will be there."
For the first time during that day, Kaitlin smiled whole heartedly, took a few steps towards Bo, held him in her hands, gave a kiss, and said "I will come again." and started to walk back home.
Though it was darkness and stars were shining everywhere, her face shone as bright as a diamond, for she was renewed, like an eagle is back with new wings and new beak. She was ready to conquer her happiness, for she new the path. Her real quest for happiness had just begun..
Bo continued, "Life in itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning. Meaning is not to be discovered; it has to be created. You will find meaning only if you create it. It is not lying there somewhere behind the bushes, so you can go and you search a little bit and find it. It is not there like a rock that you will find. It is a poetry to be composed, it is a song to be sung, it is a dance to be danced."
Kaitlin was surprised. She knew there was a mystery, but never did she feel that it would be so easy to understand. She was curious to know more, listen to what Bo had to tell.
"What is the problem that is bothering your heart? In order for us to continue the conversation,I would like to know in specific, all the things, from scratch to what they are now, tell me everything."
"I do not know where to begin from. They are all so intertwined. Everything that appeared as a real image has now turned into a mirage. Every effort, every ounce of energy that I had put into everything that I had done until now, has all gone in vain."
There appeared a tear in her eye. She was in the process. Process of venting out the pain. Bo had seen this several times. This was the starting point of an end and a beginning. An end of suffering, and a beginning of happiness.
Kaitlin continued, "I have been wanting to achieve sucess a lot. I never left any stone unturned. Everyone says future is not written on stone. But I believed in scripting it on my own. Everything was good. I guess, it appeared to be good. Until.."
With a smile on his face, Bo said "Are you hurt because you did not get what you wanted? Gift, some materialistic thing, recognition, success, love, what is it?"
"You have lived in a certain way up to now - don't you want to live in a different way? You have thought in a certain way up to now - don't you want some new glimpses in your being? Then be alert and don't listen to the mind. Mind is your past constantly trying to control your present and your future. It is the dead past which goes on controlling the alive present. Just become alert about it." said Bo.
"The mind does it with this method: it says, "If you don't listen to me, you will not be as efficient as I am." If you do an old thing you can be more efficient because you have done it before. If you do a new thing you cannot be efficient. The mind goes on talking like an economist, an efficiency expert; it goes on saying, "This is easier to do. Why do it the hard way? This is the way of least resistance." said Bo.
Bo continued, "Remember, whenever you have two things, two alternatives, choose the new one. Choose the harder, choose the one in which more awareness will be needed. At the cost of efficiency always choose awareness, and you will create the situation in which meditation will become possible. These are all just situations. Meditation will happen - I am not saying that just by doing them you will get to meditation, but they will be helpful. They will create the necessary situation in you, without which meditation cannot happen. Be less efficient but more creative. Let that be the motive. Don't be bothered too much about utilitarian ends. Rather, constantly remember that you are not here in life to become a commodity. You are not here to become a utility, that is below dignity. Your are not here just to become more and more efficient. You are her e to become more and more alive; you are here to become more and more intelligent; you are here to become more and more happy, ecstatically happy. "
Kaitlin could not relate to what Bo was telling her. She said, "I have asked for so many things. But I have never got them. Infact, I never get them. I had less freinds throughout my life, but now I managed to have many. I compromised with myself and changed myself. I am now living in two worlds. One which reflects my true self. One which is me but never me. It is this world that is bringing everything down upon me. Its as though entire sky with all starts was falling on me"
"Interesting.."
"I some how have begun to feel that void in me which is resenting me from everything."
Bo realised it was time for her to let her know the real truth.
"Have you heard of everlasting happiness? Have you heard anyone in this entire world talk to you about tales of being happily every after? I am sure you would have seen many movies, heard stories, parables. But how many of them are really true? Did you ever try to think as to why such things are being talked about? Have you ever tried to know about it?"
"It is all a mere thought which was acted upon. I have seen and heard enough of those. For some, they motivate, and for some, its a mere movie story. For some the parables are fun, for some, its foolishness. I never rely on that and will never trust upon it." said Kaitlin.
Bo said "Whatever you are feeling is the perfect reflection of the process that is in the making. What you think, what you feel, and what you manifest is always a perfect match. Ask what you want, what u really want. An answer to what you are asking is what universe does for you. It will make it happen for you.You dont ned to know how you will get it, you must bring yourself in an alignment to what you are asking for. Dont feel despair and anger for what you are asking. Begin to feel for what you are asking. When you turn fantasy into fact, you can think more."
"How? How can I do that?"
"Start to have gratitude. What we think about and thank about is what we bring about. Have an attitude of gratitude. Try to visualise. When you do, you materialise. IF you have been there in mind, you will go there in the body", said Bo.
"I find it to difficult to be like that. i do not think I would be able to do that."
"Kaitlin, all it takes is a little effort from you that will change the entire course."
"Do you want me to have gratitude for my manager who does not recognise my skills? Do you want me to have gratitude for the guy? The one with whom I had fallen in love with? Do you want me to thank all my friends, my colleagues, my relatives who never even were there when i really needed them to me? "
"Decide what you want, believe you can have it. Close your eyes and feel you have it. Open eyes and be happy of what you have and let universe take care of the rest. When you have an inspired thought, trust it and act on it. It all depends on how to tame your mind to think and nurture the thought that is developing in you."
"Its hard. it is really hard" sighed Kaitlin..
"Everyone falls in love,and then falls out too.The way to understanding love is rising in love .One must not be stuck with materialistic manifestations of Love. By falling in love you remain a child, by rising in love you mature. And by and by, love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Then it is not that you love this and you dont love that , no. You are simply love, whatsoever is happening, you give your love to it. You touch a rock and you touch as if you r touching ur beloved's body. You look at the tree and u look as u r looking at ur beloved's face. It becomes a state of being, not that you are in love. Now you are love. This is rising, this is not falling."
Bo continued, "Love is beautiful when you rise through it,and love becomes dirty and ugly when you fall through it. And sooner or later you will find that it proves poisonous, it becomes a bondage.You have been caught in it, your freedom has been crushed, your wings have been cut, now you are no more free. By falling in love, you become a possession; you posses and you allow somebody to possess you. You become a thing and you try to convert the other person, you have fallen in love with ,into a thing."
"Look at the husband and wife. They both have become like things, they are no more person. Both are trying to possess each other. Only things can be possesed. A person can never be. There is a clash, then they both become basically enemies.Then they are destructive to each other .Everyone goes on trying to posses the beloved,the lover.This is no longer love, in face when you possess a person, you hate, you destroy. Love should give freedom. Love is freedom. Love will make the beloved more and more free. Love will give wings and love will open the vast sky. It cannot become a prison, an enclosure. "
"Was this the way you have been?", questioned Bo.
Kaitlin was mesmerized with the words of Bo. She was now beginning to realise. Feel and understand and connect to what Bo has been trying to tell her. Because she asked questions, she got answers. Because she refused to believe, she understood and accepted reality.
"There is a saying, 'For every dark cloud there is a silver lining and sun eventually shines'. I guess, I was destined to have this conversation with you. This indeed has made me realise where I have been going wrong and how I have been growing wrong. There were times when i trusted my abilities, had faith that I would succeed, but my thought was not in alignment with my deed. This was the same in my personal life as well as professional life. At times, I did feel like giving it all up, and I did too."
Kaitlin continued, "I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible and how it can ache in places in me that I dint know it was existing in me. No matter what I had done, I still went to sleep, knowing everything, thinking everything and wondering where things went wrong."
There was a resurgence, a new beginning, a new era, a new confindence, a new passion for success in the eyes of Kaitlin. Bo, on seeing the change and effect of the conversation, smiled, for he knew, he made a difference on another soul.
He said, "I know it is hard to believe when anyone says 'I know how you feel', but I actually know how you feel."
There was silence. For few minutes, kaitlin felt, there was something very tranquile about the place, about the environment around her. It was filled with optimism and only streak of negative engery that was present was that of hers. But, it was slowly fading and eventually, it wil die out too.
The dawn had disappeared and the stars had begun to shine, There was darkness hovering over the field of daffodils and the grass went numb. There was a street light glowing at certain distance. Kaitlin got up, with a smile on her face and wiped the marks that tears had laid on her beautiful face.
"If i come here again, and keep coming here every now and then, will you continue to talk to me?"
"I will not assure you on that. But, I will surely be there when you need me the most, in those tuff and trivial and painful times. To give you what you need the most. Console. I will be there."
For the first time during that day, Kaitlin smiled whole heartedly, took a few steps towards Bo, held him in her hands, gave a kiss, and said "I will come again." and started to walk back home.
Though it was darkness and stars were shining everywhere, her face shone as bright as a diamond, for she was renewed, like an eagle is back with new wings and new beak. She was ready to conquer her happiness, for she new the path. Her real quest for happiness had just begun..
Kaitlin: Her quest for happiness(Part 2)
Wind was blowing, the breeze was traversing in a very peculiear manner. It was as though all the engery in it was focussed on one place. Beside the field of thousands of daffodils, lay a green pasture of excellent grass.
Kaitlin was sitting there, with her arms covering her knees and her head resting over her arms. She was weeping. The breeze was playing games with her lovely hair, soft n tender as silk. Eyebrows like an overview of swedish terrains, palms as soft as a year old baby, eyes as clear as a fresh stream of water.. Unique yet so much similar. As fair as the snow of the first snow fall in the Alps, she was simply beautiful.
The only thing that was wrong with her at that moment was the sadness she had in her heart, which made her appear very hurt. She did try to resent it. But it was just too much for her to overpower it. Little did she know that she was supposed to use emotions to her favour and not let emotions make use of her. Tears just started rolling out. They never ceased to stop. She was deeply hurt.
Bo, on noticing every little aspect and considering the situation she was in, started making a move. he had a plan in place. A much structured approach. We all know how weak emotions are and how easy it is for a person to misunderstand while in emotional void. Bo knew this fact to the core of his heart. In order to ensure that she gets no more hurt, made a calculated move.
"Can I ask the reason for your sorrow?" Kaitlin looked around. Found no one. She thought that may be it was inner conscience that was trying to talk to her. She ignored it. "I guess you did not notice me. My name is Bo. I think I can help you."
Kaitlin was now stunned. She had no clue where the voices were coming from. They just started out of nowhere, and were continually coming in. She got up and looked around eagerly. She said "Show me yourself. I do not talk to strangers. I would never converse with those who try to be in the dark and talk to others."
"If you look around and try to be as pure in thinking as you are, you would probably see me standing right in front of you."
"I have enough things to worry about and a life to live. I may not be able to find you if you are an invisible thing. I can hear you. But i chose not to talk because i have better things to worry about", replied Kaitlin.
"There is no meaning existing in life -- one has to create it. Only if you create it will you discover it. It has to be invented first. It is not lying there like a rock; it has to be created like a song. It is not a thing; it is a significance that you bring through your consciousness. Don't wait for it. It never comes by just waiting. You might have to take chances. In order to get what you have never had, you need to do what you have never done", said Bo and smiled.
At this moment, Kaitlin was surprised and saw a daffodil right infront of her, standing like a cornerstone of an unimaginable structure. Her eyes just widened. She took few steps back and uttered in total disbelief, "What are you? Do not come near me!!"
Bo was anticipating this response, for this was the same way everyone had responded. He knew what was going on in her mind. He said, "Please calm down. I am not one to hurt you. I know I can help you and trust me, you will be happy. You just have to have hope and never let the faith die."
Many things were now going on in her mind. She thought "This has been the most disastrous day., I have had so much to deal with. Now I am standing in front of a talking daffodil. Where is this taking me to? What path am I treading upon?"
But she knew a secret. "Sometimes, it is better to share sorrows, grief, pain, sadness with strangers than near ones. Atleast this erases an insecure thought as to what the other person might think about you. She decided to talk to Bo.
"I am not sure if I should really be telling you what I am going through, However, considering I dont know you, and probably we might never meet again, i will let you know.."
Bo smiled. For he knew, he was in the right direction and he was confident about solving a simple problem which appeared to be bigger than what it actually was.
"Off late, i have lost interest in life. I have lost its meaning. I have been defeated. I have experienced failure in everything I do. Those close to me never realised how honest I was. They did not even care to ask me what I was going through..."
Instead of interrupting her, Bo said "Go on.. Finish what you really want to talk about. I am listening."
"I was happy. I was confident. I had a faith in me that i would get wat I want in life, and have all the things I have always wished to have. Until disaster struck. Not once, not twice, not thrice, every time. "
"What makes you think you do not deserve what you have at the moment?"
"I dont know if I am really worth going through all these things. Why do you think i should go through these things? What wrong have I done?"
Bo replied "Do you really want to know? Are you ready to listen and understand what I am going to tel you now?"
"If that is going to help me get out of the situations I am in, I am more than ready for it."
Bo knew that this was the time for him to manifest this excellence and display his extraordinary capability to approach and resolve.
He said "You have every right to go and share with everyone what i am going to tel you. Just ensure that you have grasped what I am going to tell you."
To be continued..
Kaitlin was sitting there, with her arms covering her knees and her head resting over her arms. She was weeping. The breeze was playing games with her lovely hair, soft n tender as silk. Eyebrows like an overview of swedish terrains, palms as soft as a year old baby, eyes as clear as a fresh stream of water.. Unique yet so much similar. As fair as the snow of the first snow fall in the Alps, she was simply beautiful.
The only thing that was wrong with her at that moment was the sadness she had in her heart, which made her appear very hurt. She did try to resent it. But it was just too much for her to overpower it. Little did she know that she was supposed to use emotions to her favour and not let emotions make use of her. Tears just started rolling out. They never ceased to stop. She was deeply hurt.
Bo, on noticing every little aspect and considering the situation she was in, started making a move. he had a plan in place. A much structured approach. We all know how weak emotions are and how easy it is for a person to misunderstand while in emotional void. Bo knew this fact to the core of his heart. In order to ensure that she gets no more hurt, made a calculated move.
"Can I ask the reason for your sorrow?" Kaitlin looked around. Found no one. She thought that may be it was inner conscience that was trying to talk to her. She ignored it. "I guess you did not notice me. My name is Bo. I think I can help you."
Kaitlin was now stunned. She had no clue where the voices were coming from. They just started out of nowhere, and were continually coming in. She got up and looked around eagerly. She said "Show me yourself. I do not talk to strangers. I would never converse with those who try to be in the dark and talk to others."
"If you look around and try to be as pure in thinking as you are, you would probably see me standing right in front of you."
"I have enough things to worry about and a life to live. I may not be able to find you if you are an invisible thing. I can hear you. But i chose not to talk because i have better things to worry about", replied Kaitlin.
"There is no meaning existing in life -- one has to create it. Only if you create it will you discover it. It has to be invented first. It is not lying there like a rock; it has to be created like a song. It is not a thing; it is a significance that you bring through your consciousness. Don't wait for it. It never comes by just waiting. You might have to take chances. In order to get what you have never had, you need to do what you have never done", said Bo and smiled.
At this moment, Kaitlin was surprised and saw a daffodil right infront of her, standing like a cornerstone of an unimaginable structure. Her eyes just widened. She took few steps back and uttered in total disbelief, "What are you? Do not come near me!!"
Bo was anticipating this response, for this was the same way everyone had responded. He knew what was going on in her mind. He said, "Please calm down. I am not one to hurt you. I know I can help you and trust me, you will be happy. You just have to have hope and never let the faith die."
Many things were now going on in her mind. She thought "This has been the most disastrous day., I have had so much to deal with. Now I am standing in front of a talking daffodil. Where is this taking me to? What path am I treading upon?"
But she knew a secret. "Sometimes, it is better to share sorrows, grief, pain, sadness with strangers than near ones. Atleast this erases an insecure thought as to what the other person might think about you. She decided to talk to Bo.
"I am not sure if I should really be telling you what I am going through, However, considering I dont know you, and probably we might never meet again, i will let you know.."
Bo smiled. For he knew, he was in the right direction and he was confident about solving a simple problem which appeared to be bigger than what it actually was.
"Off late, i have lost interest in life. I have lost its meaning. I have been defeated. I have experienced failure in everything I do. Those close to me never realised how honest I was. They did not even care to ask me what I was going through..."
Instead of interrupting her, Bo said "Go on.. Finish what you really want to talk about. I am listening."
"I was happy. I was confident. I had a faith in me that i would get wat I want in life, and have all the things I have always wished to have. Until disaster struck. Not once, not twice, not thrice, every time. "
"What makes you think you do not deserve what you have at the moment?"
"I dont know if I am really worth going through all these things. Why do you think i should go through these things? What wrong have I done?"
Bo replied "Do you really want to know? Are you ready to listen and understand what I am going to tel you now?"
"If that is going to help me get out of the situations I am in, I am more than ready for it."
Bo knew that this was the time for him to manifest this excellence and display his extraordinary capability to approach and resolve.
He said "You have every right to go and share with everyone what i am going to tel you. Just ensure that you have grasped what I am going to tell you."
To be continued..
Kaitlin: Her quest for happiness(Part 1)
Everyone of us, atleast once in our lifetime so far, would have come across this feeling. How difficult is it for us to have this feeling? I am very much sure about what I have said. You would have thought as to why dont I get what I have asked for? Why? Did i do something wrong? Did I really deserve it? Was there something I missed out on? Did I ask something that required more efforts than What I had asked for? Why am I not getting What I want and the things that I have worked hardly, whole heartedly? Why? Why me? Of all, Why does this happen to me?
Well my friend. what I am going to tell you now, is a story of a girl named Kaitlin. Nice name huh? She was as nice as her name is. This story helped me out in many ways and I guess, it will be the same for you as well.
Beyond the world of anxiety, tensions, insecurities, in the world ot tranquility and serenity, lived a girl named Kaitlin. She was pretty. She was intelligent. She was quick witted. She was in the good books of everyone around her. Her neighbours loved her as a person, her parents were proud of her. She was the charm in her world. Untill one day..
She was sitting by the daffodils and the lids of her vision gave way for the saline water. She could not stop crying.. She wept, wept, wept and wept. she asked the same questions.. Why ..... Nonetheless, there was no angel that came to her rescue. No alladin's lamp for a genie to pop out and fulfill her wishes. No storms or heavy rains as a response to her grief from the mother nature. Nothing supernatual happened.
Among the thousands of daffodils, there was this one lovely, beautiful daffodil (His name was BO) who noticed Kaitlin. In the world of Daffodils, Bo was the king and had so many princess droooling over him. He knew how to tackle the worldy problems. Bo had seen many people walk past the field, some laughing, some showing their anger, some crying.. But Bo had never seen anyone as hurted as Kaitlin was.
Bo knew one thing. He could solve kaitlin's problem. Just like he had solved every problem of the daffodils in his world and of those who walked past the field. Bo, his very name brings a sense of hapy feeling in anyone. If there was any problem, first thing that any one would think is Bo. He had the ability, that quest, that thirst, a honest thought, of making the world worry free. Every effort he made, he succeeded. Everyone wondered as to how he could do that. Failure was something he had never seen. And it was few years that he had seen failure.
Whenever Bo used to see someone cry, he used to remember those days when he was in the same position. He once wept too. He once had failures too. It was his fate that gave him his destiny that was so different from others. Unlike others, he learnt from his mistakes and took control of his future. We all know that future is not written on stone. He knew that. Except for the fact that he started sculpting his future on a stone he desired the most. He called that stone as his Life.
Yet again. Bo decided to help. To let another person come out of the clutches of grief sorrow and pain. He did what he was best at. He decided to talk to Kaitlin...
Well my friend. what I am going to tell you now, is a story of a girl named Kaitlin. Nice name huh? She was as nice as her name is. This story helped me out in many ways and I guess, it will be the same for you as well.
Beyond the world of anxiety, tensions, insecurities, in the world ot tranquility and serenity, lived a girl named Kaitlin. She was pretty. She was intelligent. She was quick witted. She was in the good books of everyone around her. Her neighbours loved her as a person, her parents were proud of her. She was the charm in her world. Untill one day..
She was sitting by the daffodils and the lids of her vision gave way for the saline water. She could not stop crying.. She wept, wept, wept and wept. she asked the same questions.. Why ..... Nonetheless, there was no angel that came to her rescue. No alladin's lamp for a genie to pop out and fulfill her wishes. No storms or heavy rains as a response to her grief from the mother nature. Nothing supernatual happened.
Among the thousands of daffodils, there was this one lovely, beautiful daffodil (His name was BO) who noticed Kaitlin. In the world of Daffodils, Bo was the king and had so many princess droooling over him. He knew how to tackle the worldy problems. Bo had seen many people walk past the field, some laughing, some showing their anger, some crying.. But Bo had never seen anyone as hurted as Kaitlin was.
Bo knew one thing. He could solve kaitlin's problem. Just like he had solved every problem of the daffodils in his world and of those who walked past the field. Bo, his very name brings a sense of hapy feeling in anyone. If there was any problem, first thing that any one would think is Bo. He had the ability, that quest, that thirst, a honest thought, of making the world worry free. Every effort he made, he succeeded. Everyone wondered as to how he could do that. Failure was something he had never seen. And it was few years that he had seen failure.
Whenever Bo used to see someone cry, he used to remember those days when he was in the same position. He once wept too. He once had failures too. It was his fate that gave him his destiny that was so different from others. Unlike others, he learnt from his mistakes and took control of his future. We all know that future is not written on stone. He knew that. Except for the fact that he started sculpting his future on a stone he desired the most. He called that stone as his Life.
Yet again. Bo decided to help. To let another person come out of the clutches of grief sorrow and pain. He did what he was best at. He decided to talk to Kaitlin...
State of Mind
I dont know if I would be able to write the real state of my mind., For all these days I have been thinking that I must write what i feel to write about. This time, it is different, I want to write what I am wanting to write. The state of my mind. But however, I find there is a complete charismatic feeling when a person tends to explain what is going on in his/her mind.
To begin with, many things have pre-occupied. Some tending to cause an eternal battle within me, some tending to cause a sense of reliability and dependance, while others tend to cause a void in me. Some thoughts pull me back into my past, while others bring me back to reality. Like the rope in tug of war, I am being swung either ways every now and then.
Like a typical piscean, I guess, I was finding solace in my dream world. Finding joy in my own little accomplishments, happiness and fun. I have always wanted to know things and understand them. But not until late when i started in believing, Their was drastic change in things around me, I realised. Do not believe in beilieving. I adopted and adapted myself to new approach. I began to know and knowing is totally different dimension. It starts from doubt, the moment you believe in something, you have stopped inquiring, belief is the most poisonous thing to destroy human intelligence! And now i am back to where I belong and found happiness in the most strangest ways I could possible think of.
At times my mind complained I was alone. But I realised that being alone I was spending time with myself and did not require world to play a part in it. When I began to feel lonely, I found joy in the way things are. The roses bloom so beautifully because they are not trying to become lotuses. And the lotuses bloom so beautifully because they have not heard the legends about other flowers. Everything in nature goes so beautifully in accord, because nobody is trying to compete with anybody, nobody is trying to become anybody else. Everything is the way it is. This thought and the observation has now made me a much better person than I used to be.
As I have always told, so will I this time too. "Just be yourself and remember you cannot be anything else, whatsoever you do, All effort is futile. "
To begin with, many things have pre-occupied. Some tending to cause an eternal battle within me, some tending to cause a sense of reliability and dependance, while others tend to cause a void in me. Some thoughts pull me back into my past, while others bring me back to reality. Like the rope in tug of war, I am being swung either ways every now and then.
Like a typical piscean, I guess, I was finding solace in my dream world. Finding joy in my own little accomplishments, happiness and fun. I have always wanted to know things and understand them. But not until late when i started in believing, Their was drastic change in things around me, I realised. Do not believe in beilieving. I adopted and adapted myself to new approach. I began to know and knowing is totally different dimension. It starts from doubt, the moment you believe in something, you have stopped inquiring, belief is the most poisonous thing to destroy human intelligence! And now i am back to where I belong and found happiness in the most strangest ways I could possible think of.
At times my mind complained I was alone. But I realised that being alone I was spending time with myself and did not require world to play a part in it. When I began to feel lonely, I found joy in the way things are. The roses bloom so beautifully because they are not trying to become lotuses. And the lotuses bloom so beautifully because they have not heard the legends about other flowers. Everything in nature goes so beautifully in accord, because nobody is trying to compete with anybody, nobody is trying to become anybody else. Everything is the way it is. This thought and the observation has now made me a much better person than I used to be.
As I have always told, so will I this time too. "Just be yourself and remember you cannot be anything else, whatsoever you do, All effort is futile. "
Fun
The subject of Fun is one of the most serious topics we can discuss. One of the greatest achievements of my lifetime has been the maintenance of the capacity for fun from early childhood. Another has been coming to an understanding of what Fun is. And so, Fun is the cornerstone of my life, and the foundation of everything I do.
I know that I am sometimes perceived as a serious dude, talking about Principles and other not-so-fun topics, but when you know what Fun is, then you will see why even serious, or thought inducing, weighty matters can be Fun. I want to talk about this subject because it is vital to making progress as a person.. In fact, you cannot MAKE any progress as a guitarist, unless you know how to have Fun. We "play" the guitar. You cannot "play" if you don't know how to have fun. It's true that "practice" sometimes seems like "work", but you will see that work is not the opposite of play, or the opposite of fun. Work can, and should, be Fun.
Now, Fun is a funny thing. For some people, going out dancing and drinking all night is fun. For others, that would be torture, but sitting quietly and reading a book on philosophy is Fun. For some people, jamming on the electric guitar for hours is fun, for others, sitting with a metronome for an hour of disciplined practice is Fun (and yes, the same person may find each of these things to be Fun at different times). For some people, having to solve difficult problems requiring great thought is Fun, and for another, it is nothing but a headache. So, what is going on here?
The fact is that anything can be Fun for some person or the other. However, the particular things that we find to be Fun say everything about who we are as people, and what our level of personal development is. However, there is one common denominator that is always present when a person says "this is fun". That common denominator is "creative enjoyment". Fun is creative enjoyment. Einstein working out the theory of relativity, or Michael Jordan shooting a basket; both are having Fun. Both are "creatively enjoying". As long as this quality is present, ANYTHING can be fun. Without this quality, NOTHING is fun.
What is "creative enjoyment"? Well, "creative" is almost self-explanatory. It is basically bringing something new into the world. It could be a dinner, an idea, a blanket, a building, whatever. Whatever is being created, it involves bringing something "out" of yourself, and giving it some kind of form on the outside. How you are going to have fun in you being creative is upto the individuality of ther person.
For me FUN never ceases to exist. Its an everlastingly ongoing process.
I know that I am sometimes perceived as a serious dude, talking about Principles and other not-so-fun topics, but when you know what Fun is, then you will see why even serious, or thought inducing, weighty matters can be Fun. I want to talk about this subject because it is vital to making progress as a person.. In fact, you cannot MAKE any progress as a guitarist, unless you know how to have Fun. We "play" the guitar. You cannot "play" if you don't know how to have fun. It's true that "practice" sometimes seems like "work", but you will see that work is not the opposite of play, or the opposite of fun. Work can, and should, be Fun.
Now, Fun is a funny thing. For some people, going out dancing and drinking all night is fun. For others, that would be torture, but sitting quietly and reading a book on philosophy is Fun. For some people, jamming on the electric guitar for hours is fun, for others, sitting with a metronome for an hour of disciplined practice is Fun (and yes, the same person may find each of these things to be Fun at different times). For some people, having to solve difficult problems requiring great thought is Fun, and for another, it is nothing but a headache. So, what is going on here?
The fact is that anything can be Fun for some person or the other. However, the particular things that we find to be Fun say everything about who we are as people, and what our level of personal development is. However, there is one common denominator that is always present when a person says "this is fun". That common denominator is "creative enjoyment". Fun is creative enjoyment. Einstein working out the theory of relativity, or Michael Jordan shooting a basket; both are having Fun. Both are "creatively enjoying". As long as this quality is present, ANYTHING can be fun. Without this quality, NOTHING is fun.
What is "creative enjoyment"? Well, "creative" is almost self-explanatory. It is basically bringing something new into the world. It could be a dinner, an idea, a blanket, a building, whatever. Whatever is being created, it involves bringing something "out" of yourself, and giving it some kind of form on the outside. How you are going to have fun in you being creative is upto the individuality of ther person.
For me FUN never ceases to exist. Its an everlastingly ongoing process.
Poem - A thousand verses
My dry tears speak
A thousand verses
With meaning so deep
That you can’t read
The tale of a longing heart
The tale of a nonviolent war
The tale of a haunting past
The tale of a tormenting present
The tale of a hopeful future
The tale engraved
In the wall of my heart
With my blood and breath
The heart just weeps
As the blood seeps
And my dry tears speak
A thousand verses
With meaning so deep
That you can’t read
A thousand verses
With meaning so deep
That you can’t read
The tale of a longing heart
The tale of a nonviolent war
The tale of a haunting past
The tale of a tormenting present
The tale of a hopeful future
The tale engraved
In the wall of my heart
With my blood and breath
The heart just weeps
As the blood seeps
And my dry tears speak
A thousand verses
With meaning so deep
That you can’t read
Poem - Silent Whispers
Silent whispers of the serene beach
Surging waves gripped my feet
Buried it in a layer of sand
Drilling deep crossing the barrier of time
I was lost in an enthralling miasma
An unexpected call from the dormant past
A blended recipe of the sweet and sour
The sand ebbed away leaving some granules
Depicting the eternal sweet reminiscence
Flashing the future in those distant waves
Though gigantic, some holding false promises
Some elfin waves rose reaching the shore
Wobbly like the future in store
The footprints made on the seashore
Are the imprints made in life
Those silent whispers echoed again and again
Teaching me the lessons of life.....
Surging waves gripped my feet
Buried it in a layer of sand
Drilling deep crossing the barrier of time
I was lost in an enthralling miasma
An unexpected call from the dormant past
A blended recipe of the sweet and sour
The sand ebbed away leaving some granules
Depicting the eternal sweet reminiscence
Flashing the future in those distant waves
Though gigantic, some holding false promises
Some elfin waves rose reaching the shore
Wobbly like the future in store
The footprints made on the seashore
Are the imprints made in life
Those silent whispers echoed again and again
Teaching me the lessons of life.....
Love vs Infatuation
What, then, is the elusive thing called "Love" that everyone so desperately needs? Sometimes, we sort of like this girl because she is beautiful? Or the girl likes him because he is handsome? But this kind of "Cinderella Syndrome" when the girl is waiting on her Prince Charming, is not real love. It is better known as ""Infatuation", and there is a vast difference between it and real love. I thought about it a lot, and have somehow managed few smal things, which might give u results in a big manner. Find out if you are really in love and not just infatuated.
Infatuation
Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the Emotions and the Will are involved.
Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love. Gentlemen, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation. It is based totally on physical attraction; Often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus infatuation is mostly biological.
Also remember, never tell a woman you love her, unless you are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and your "feelings" than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.
Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.
Love
Now you understand what is infatuation, let us now go on to discuss about Love.
1. Love is Patient: The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfillment of expectations. When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out of her shell, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view – maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.
Have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, Love is willing to give the relationship time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
2. Love is Kind: Love seeks to encourage and build up on others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others. It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy, i.e. Compliment one another, magnify the other's strength, Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important, etc.
3. Love is not Jealous: Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.
4. Love is not to Brag: Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often, a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself. Others will exalt him.
5. Love is not Arrogant: Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky or stuck up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude . Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanor implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you". Of course this is not love.
6. Love always Covers: This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential. Love is patient with faults of others. It doesn't criticize or broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is present even when it knows the other is not perfect.
7. Love always Perseveres: Love always stands its ground and holds out . It will outlast anything. It will even love on the face of unreturned love. Real love will last through all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
8. Love is not Provoked: This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centered not self-centered. Love says, "I love you, I want to give you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"
9. Love does not act Unbecomingly: This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonorably, or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its actions. It is characterized by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl or offering her your arm when you walk together.
10. Love is Forgiving: Lastly, this is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is only an hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged. It doesn't
Infatuation
Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the Emotions and the Will are involved.
Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love. Gentlemen, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation. It is based totally on physical attraction; Often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus infatuation is mostly biological.
Also remember, never tell a woman you love her, unless you are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and your "feelings" than it is in the other person.
Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.
Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.
Love
Now you understand what is infatuation, let us now go on to discuss about Love.
1. Love is Patient: The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfillment of expectations. When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out of her shell, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view – maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.
Have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, Love is willing to give the relationship time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
2. Love is Kind: Love seeks to encourage and build up on others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others. It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy, i.e. Compliment one another, magnify the other's strength, Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important, etc.
3. Love is not Jealous: Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.
4. Love is not to Brag: Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often, a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself. Others will exalt him.
5. Love is not Arrogant: Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky or stuck up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude . Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanor implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you". Of course this is not love.
6. Love always Covers: This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential. Love is patient with faults of others. It doesn't criticize or broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is present even when it knows the other is not perfect.
7. Love always Perseveres: Love always stands its ground and holds out . It will outlast anything. It will even love on the face of unreturned love. Real love will last through all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.
8. Love is not Provoked: This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centered not self-centered. Love says, "I love you, I want to give you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"
9. Love does not act Unbecomingly: This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonorably, or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its actions. It is characterized by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl or offering her your arm when you walk together.
10. Love is Forgiving: Lastly, this is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is only an hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been wronged. It doesn't
Another poem
With hair like silk
And lips so tender,
Each moment with you
Makes my heart surrender
I couldn't live, I couldn't breathe
Without you by my side,
Never will I let you go,
My love will never hide
And in my heart you'll always be
From now until forever,
No matter what, no matter where
I wish we could have always been together
And lips so tender,
Each moment with you
Makes my heart surrender
I couldn't live, I couldn't breathe
Without you by my side,
Never will I let you go,
My love will never hide
And in my heart you'll always be
From now until forever,
No matter what, no matter where
I wish we could have always been together
True Love; Its very ambigous
I have always wondered about what a true love is. is it in giving more reaher then expecting to recieve? Is it more about sacrificing the dreams, desire, ambition, wishes? or is it a resonance of physical attraction or that of the bonding between two souls? I was and am still wondering about it.
Sometimes I feel that true love is mere a mirage and it never really exists. Sometimes I really feel that may be, there never existed a concept of true love. The phrase itself is strange. for it has pain, sufferings, vulnerabilities, depression, every negative emotion associated with it. And these emotions come into play only when the true love fails. But.. is it the love that is failing or is it the effort or is it the person? Which one?
For me, true love is a soul's recognition of its counterpart in another. And once that happens, I guess, there is no turning back. For once that happens, a relation begins, which would be parasitic of every other relation. This takes priority and everything just ceases to exist. You tend to be with your counterpart, and all that had happened when he/she was there, all those things, those memories, all that fun, all those people, everyone, everything, takes a secondary priority in life.
Now, one thing i do not understand here is the fact that true love plays in one's life. There is no doubt about the fact that it is a boon to the person. But on the contrary, it is a curse for those associated in the person's life. My intention here is not to let you all conclude that true love is bad. It is required for it makes feel that a person is secure. In the kind of world that we all live now, feeling secure is the most important thing. It can make us go places, if and only iff the person who makes you feel you are secure is with you. Now thats expecting a lot from that person.
The only thought that was going in my mind while i wrote this very post is the fact that i have gone through wat is written above. And I have decided, that this just aint right. I dont think that anyone would need an education to be in love. As one of my friend said, its a matter of feelings. The word I have just begun to hate.
For me, true love happens only once in life. Whatever happens next, is just a compromising phenomenon between two bodies to live the rest of the life together hoping to be happy and secure and eventually die.
Sometimes I feel that true love is mere a mirage and it never really exists. Sometimes I really feel that may be, there never existed a concept of true love. The phrase itself is strange. for it has pain, sufferings, vulnerabilities, depression, every negative emotion associated with it. And these emotions come into play only when the true love fails. But.. is it the love that is failing or is it the effort or is it the person? Which one?
For me, true love is a soul's recognition of its counterpart in another. And once that happens, I guess, there is no turning back. For once that happens, a relation begins, which would be parasitic of every other relation. This takes priority and everything just ceases to exist. You tend to be with your counterpart, and all that had happened when he/she was there, all those things, those memories, all that fun, all those people, everyone, everything, takes a secondary priority in life.
Now, one thing i do not understand here is the fact that true love plays in one's life. There is no doubt about the fact that it is a boon to the person. But on the contrary, it is a curse for those associated in the person's life. My intention here is not to let you all conclude that true love is bad. It is required for it makes feel that a person is secure. In the kind of world that we all live now, feeling secure is the most important thing. It can make us go places, if and only iff the person who makes you feel you are secure is with you. Now thats expecting a lot from that person.
The only thought that was going in my mind while i wrote this very post is the fact that i have gone through wat is written above. And I have decided, that this just aint right. I dont think that anyone would need an education to be in love. As one of my friend said, its a matter of feelings. The word I have just begun to hate.
For me, true love happens only once in life. Whatever happens next, is just a compromising phenomenon between two bodies to live the rest of the life together hoping to be happy and secure and eventually die.
Anger
Why? How? When? Where? What? If these things are asked to oneself before reacting to the situation, I guess, it would be easier to conquer anger. But thas the not the way all think, Thats not the way all work, and live and behave, I set out, do be different, and have no regrets for beig like this. Moreover, life has go more to it than mere anger.
Coming back to the five questions. I ask Why should i get angry, will it be good, will it make things worse or better, and i guage the situation accordingly. How did this situation arise? By thinking this way, it makes me analyze the reasons, the causes for the situation thats making me angry, I always have a 5 point approach to control any kind of anger. I just ask myself five questions. I will have answers, and by the time I think of these things and am trying to analyze, my anger would have vanished. But, this is not the way it sounds like. Lot of effort and pain should be withstood in this case.
Anger.. What does this mean? Why does a person react with so much of hateredness? I have been trying to understand this part of human emoiton. I do agree that with-holding the anger in one's heart gives birth to hate and when ignored, this hate can never be put off. But, on the contrary, the way i think, if we just leave the situation aside and let bygones be bygones.
But sometimes, when the anger is out of control and you know that you cant control it and vent it out, you tend to say things, which are definite to hurt the other person. May be thats the reason that I never get angry and shout or yell or beat the other person. Sometimes, when you are angry, you would say "Who are you to do it?" or may be "Why the hell do you do this?" or even worse "You dont even care for me' or anything else.
These are very hurting statements, especially if you are on the other side. Be it a gal or a guy, its the same emotion. I mean, imagine this. You have always been taking care of a person, did everything that you could possibly do, to ensure that the other person is happy. But one moment, one situation, which leads the person into anger, makes them say either of the above sentences. Its as though the whole world came crashing down on you and u are literally shattered. Not into one, or two or tens of thousands, but to innumerable pieces. Its so hard to recover from that. Moreover. the words once spoken and are out from the mouth, can never be taken back and the damage that is caused by saying things can never be renovated.
One thing is for sure. Anger ruins relations. It is like a virus that slowly infects an immune system. An infection that would lead into a dreadly disease.. A pain, that can nevre be relieved from. A cause of barrier in the flow of thought. And every possible negative emotion or attitude that you can possibly imagine of.
When I think of these things, only one thing comes in my mind. Let bygones be bygones. I carry on with life, for the moments of pleasure have passed and yet another journey begins.
Coming back to the five questions. I ask Why should i get angry, will it be good, will it make things worse or better, and i guage the situation accordingly. How did this situation arise? By thinking this way, it makes me analyze the reasons, the causes for the situation thats making me angry, I always have a 5 point approach to control any kind of anger. I just ask myself five questions. I will have answers, and by the time I think of these things and am trying to analyze, my anger would have vanished. But, this is not the way it sounds like. Lot of effort and pain should be withstood in this case.
Anger.. What does this mean? Why does a person react with so much of hateredness? I have been trying to understand this part of human emoiton. I do agree that with-holding the anger in one's heart gives birth to hate and when ignored, this hate can never be put off. But, on the contrary, the way i think, if we just leave the situation aside and let bygones be bygones.
But sometimes, when the anger is out of control and you know that you cant control it and vent it out, you tend to say things, which are definite to hurt the other person. May be thats the reason that I never get angry and shout or yell or beat the other person. Sometimes, when you are angry, you would say "Who are you to do it?" or may be "Why the hell do you do this?" or even worse "You dont even care for me' or anything else.
These are very hurting statements, especially if you are on the other side. Be it a gal or a guy, its the same emotion. I mean, imagine this. You have always been taking care of a person, did everything that you could possibly do, to ensure that the other person is happy. But one moment, one situation, which leads the person into anger, makes them say either of the above sentences. Its as though the whole world came crashing down on you and u are literally shattered. Not into one, or two or tens of thousands, but to innumerable pieces. Its so hard to recover from that. Moreover. the words once spoken and are out from the mouth, can never be taken back and the damage that is caused by saying things can never be renovated.
One thing is for sure. Anger ruins relations. It is like a virus that slowly infects an immune system. An infection that would lead into a dreadly disease.. A pain, that can nevre be relieved from. A cause of barrier in the flow of thought. And every possible negative emotion or attitude that you can possibly imagine of.
When I think of these things, only one thing comes in my mind. Let bygones be bygones. I carry on with life, for the moments of pleasure have passed and yet another journey begins.
15 September 2007
Today began in a very unique way. Got up at a unique time. Thanks to loud and annoying music which was being played due to the festival.
Festival, i wonder who invented them, strange recreation time for every soul. Strange myths, strange rituals, strange clothes, every thing strange. I am glad that i do not believe in god. I dont have to be part of these mind bogging stuff.
I choose to meet a fren of mine, accompanied with another common fren. Though we had planned to meet at 2pm, i reached the place at 1pm. I just wanted to get rid of the place where there was too much of noise.
I went to Coffee Day. It was very much deserted at 1pm. I was not surprised. I mean, who would come to a coffee day on saturday afternoon at 1pm? The people were kinda shocked to see me there, may be they were not expecting anyone at that time. I was craving for something really motivating and something that would set a kinda tone and rythm for the day ahead. I was kinda hard to figure out what i needed and as I was already craving for something strong, I chose Irish coffee.. It tasted different this time. Along with my pack of cigs, and the cup of coffee, I spent an hour on cal with my fren..
And finally when the ladies arrived, as always, they can never be punctual (a personality trait from the planet Venus!!!). They came at 1430. We had chosen Sigma Mall, Cunningham road to spend time. It was kinda nice place, I guess, no one is aware of the mall, unlike the Forum or the Garuda mall.
To be what i always am is normal. But to pretend who I am not, is very difficult thing to do. Especially, when the one you loved is sitting across the table and you just cannot take your eyes off her. I know what I was going through. I chose not to vent my emotions out, for they had no value anymore. It is at this time I realised a new facet to my personality. I had the ability to resent my own emotions. I could have told my own feelings, But i hate that word. Feeling. What a stupid word that is, I just hate it.
We were there for a long time, for the place was calm, serene and good. No crowd, no worries. We spoke about so many things, starting from career, office, personal life, future plans, clothes, movies, and than the gal took out a bunch of papers, stapled together. That was a photo copy of few pages from the book Love signs from Linda Goodman. I was the scapegoat at that moment. They started reading about Piscean Man.
This just set the rythm for future conversations and jigsaw puzzle just started to fall in place. I was wondering as to how can someone analyse and write about the personality traits of various zodiac signs. It was whopping 99.99% true. Now that surprised me. We had a lot of arguements, debate was going on. I t was literal fun.
So many things happened and the final moment came when i had to say good bye, the difficult one. But, we had a life to live on, and things just pass on. Day ended on a fine note, but evening was there to be taken care off. I have somehow managed to do that. Hoping that week ahead would be a great one.
Festival, i wonder who invented them, strange recreation time for every soul. Strange myths, strange rituals, strange clothes, every thing strange. I am glad that i do not believe in god. I dont have to be part of these mind bogging stuff.
I choose to meet a fren of mine, accompanied with another common fren. Though we had planned to meet at 2pm, i reached the place at 1pm. I just wanted to get rid of the place where there was too much of noise.
I went to Coffee Day. It was very much deserted at 1pm. I was not surprised. I mean, who would come to a coffee day on saturday afternoon at 1pm? The people were kinda shocked to see me there, may be they were not expecting anyone at that time. I was craving for something really motivating and something that would set a kinda tone and rythm for the day ahead. I was kinda hard to figure out what i needed and as I was already craving for something strong, I chose Irish coffee.. It tasted different this time. Along with my pack of cigs, and the cup of coffee, I spent an hour on cal with my fren..
And finally when the ladies arrived, as always, they can never be punctual (a personality trait from the planet Venus!!!). They came at 1430. We had chosen Sigma Mall, Cunningham road to spend time. It was kinda nice place, I guess, no one is aware of the mall, unlike the Forum or the Garuda mall.
To be what i always am is normal. But to pretend who I am not, is very difficult thing to do. Especially, when the one you loved is sitting across the table and you just cannot take your eyes off her. I know what I was going through. I chose not to vent my emotions out, for they had no value anymore. It is at this time I realised a new facet to my personality. I had the ability to resent my own emotions. I could have told my own feelings, But i hate that word. Feeling. What a stupid word that is, I just hate it.
We were there for a long time, for the place was calm, serene and good. No crowd, no worries. We spoke about so many things, starting from career, office, personal life, future plans, clothes, movies, and than the gal took out a bunch of papers, stapled together. That was a photo copy of few pages from the book Love signs from Linda Goodman. I was the scapegoat at that moment. They started reading about Piscean Man.
This just set the rythm for future conversations and jigsaw puzzle just started to fall in place. I was wondering as to how can someone analyse and write about the personality traits of various zodiac signs. It was whopping 99.99% true. Now that surprised me. We had a lot of arguements, debate was going on. I t was literal fun.
So many things happened and the final moment came when i had to say good bye, the difficult one. But, we had a life to live on, and things just pass on. Day ended on a fine note, but evening was there to be taken care off. I have somehow managed to do that. Hoping that week ahead would be a great one.
Relations: Trivial approach
Everytime there is an interaction which would nurture further interactions, I guess, a birth of a relation takes place. Be it any kind. But one begins to exist. And this would eventually superseed every other possibilities or cease to exist itself. Its all a matter how how it is handled in the initial stages so that, this new ineraction (or rather say, relation) sustains itself.
I aint writing this blog to be very philosophical or even the least, appear to be one, Its just that I am sharing what I have learnt from my past relations. Hoping that may be, this blog would reach out to many out there who would have undergone similar circumstances.
Some relations are a mere Hi-Bye kind. Some are beyond the resonance of two souls. I always wonder how that happens. I do agree that a Homo Sapien is a social animal. Do we have a doubt? I mean, being called as social animal in no way means to be able to attend various night outs, parties, weddings, funerals. No. They are just venues of different kind of interactions.
Relation according to various dictionaries mean an existing connection; a significant association between or among things. I am wondering as to how this connection takes place, and on what basis does this take place.
Interesting isnt it? Very much intriguing as well. For a youngster, a relation is all that he can think of being with a gal. For a working person, its about how he deals with his colleagues on a day to day basis. For a married individual ( I wonder why people marry, I guess, I should be writing a post on it.. lol) its all about how he/she can handle things at home. I mean, are there any better ways of expressing things in a so called relation?
This is the main reason for me to write on something that is so f***ing trivial. Things have been good enough, for they were made to be in such a way. Every interaction I ever had with anyone, be it guy/gay/otherwise, the only thing that was consistent in my mind was to keep the other person happy.I mean to say, If you dont tend to keep the other person happy, do you think he/she would inturn want to see you happy?
This is where I think, I can come to a virtual conclusion. A conclusion which would lead to a new beginning. Essence of any relation is a necessary hope of an individual to be wanted, noticed, to have enough attention, to be happy. Its like interdependance. Like a plover bird depends on crocodile for its food. Strange but true, This is the very reason a human is called as a Social Animal.
I aint writing this blog to be very philosophical or even the least, appear to be one, Its just that I am sharing what I have learnt from my past relations. Hoping that may be, this blog would reach out to many out there who would have undergone similar circumstances.
Some relations are a mere Hi-Bye kind. Some are beyond the resonance of two souls. I always wonder how that happens. I do agree that a Homo Sapien is a social animal. Do we have a doubt? I mean, being called as social animal in no way means to be able to attend various night outs, parties, weddings, funerals. No. They are just venues of different kind of interactions.
Relation according to various dictionaries mean an existing connection; a significant association between or among things. I am wondering as to how this connection takes place, and on what basis does this take place.
Interesting isnt it? Very much intriguing as well. For a youngster, a relation is all that he can think of being with a gal. For a working person, its about how he deals with his colleagues on a day to day basis. For a married individual ( I wonder why people marry, I guess, I should be writing a post on it.. lol) its all about how he/she can handle things at home. I mean, are there any better ways of expressing things in a so called relation?
This is the main reason for me to write on something that is so f***ing trivial. Things have been good enough, for they were made to be in such a way. Every interaction I ever had with anyone, be it guy/gay/otherwise, the only thing that was consistent in my mind was to keep the other person happy.I mean to say, If you dont tend to keep the other person happy, do you think he/she would inturn want to see you happy?
This is where I think, I can come to a virtual conclusion. A conclusion which would lead to a new beginning. Essence of any relation is a necessary hope of an individual to be wanted, noticed, to have enough attention, to be happy. Its like interdependance. Like a plover bird depends on crocodile for its food. Strange but true, This is the very reason a human is called as a Social Animal.
Justice Undone
I guess, I might appear very sarcastic and yet at times very emotional. May be I might not sound fair to my past, May be all of you wil think that I am being too harsh on What i have gone through.,
As a person, as a normal person, I have given life the best I could give it. And in return it gave me worst. At times, it did give me a glimmer of hope. Every difficulty that a person faces, be it of any kind, gives rise to hope. And this hope comes with a string attached to it. Every hope leads to a dream, which now depends on the individuality of a person to either fulfill it, or to forfeit it.
I guess, even i have come across these situations. Some which just shook me off my feet and the ground just tore apart. Some just made the entire sky fall down crashing on me, Some even threw nuclear bombs at me. me aint a Superman to fly, or a spider man to escape. I am just a normal human being. And hence, i did what I could. Just wait. Waited patiently, for time to calm the things down. I did give priority for things that needed my primary attention. I know that every one would have done the same. I aint a saddist or a psychopast to cut my veins or burn my wrists for the pain and suffering that I have gone through. Its a trait of a coward to do so,
There have been times when I have asked the one that stays in the clouds, to let me have my share of happiness. I mean, at some point of time, even the most selfless person tends to be selfish. Especially during the testing times of his/her life. And I guess, I am a human too. I asked for the same. That is when i was made to realise that I have enuf frens to clear the burden down.
But somewhere, along the road of my life, there were few stones that were left unturned. These are my primary focus for the rest of the journey ahead. I mean, every situation that brings in difficulties, also teaches some lessons to learn, And I have learnt them. So what If I dint not get the peace of mind at home, so what if i dint find true love, so what if my work life is not letting me have pancakes and is giving me peanuts? So What? There is this tremendous patience in me, which I count on, all the time. I can wait. I can surely wait. For someday, Justice will be done and the weight will be same on both the sides. Until then, until than time wherein there would be a silver lining for the dark clouds hovering over my life now will happen, Until then, it is Justice Undone.
As a person, as a normal person, I have given life the best I could give it. And in return it gave me worst. At times, it did give me a glimmer of hope. Every difficulty that a person faces, be it of any kind, gives rise to hope. And this hope comes with a string attached to it. Every hope leads to a dream, which now depends on the individuality of a person to either fulfill it, or to forfeit it.
I guess, even i have come across these situations. Some which just shook me off my feet and the ground just tore apart. Some just made the entire sky fall down crashing on me, Some even threw nuclear bombs at me. me aint a Superman to fly, or a spider man to escape. I am just a normal human being. And hence, i did what I could. Just wait. Waited patiently, for time to calm the things down. I did give priority for things that needed my primary attention. I know that every one would have done the same. I aint a saddist or a psychopast to cut my veins or burn my wrists for the pain and suffering that I have gone through. Its a trait of a coward to do so,
There have been times when I have asked the one that stays in the clouds, to let me have my share of happiness. I mean, at some point of time, even the most selfless person tends to be selfish. Especially during the testing times of his/her life. And I guess, I am a human too. I asked for the same. That is when i was made to realise that I have enuf frens to clear the burden down.
But somewhere, along the road of my life, there were few stones that were left unturned. These are my primary focus for the rest of the journey ahead. I mean, every situation that brings in difficulties, also teaches some lessons to learn, And I have learnt them. So what If I dint not get the peace of mind at home, so what if i dint find true love, so what if my work life is not letting me have pancakes and is giving me peanuts? So What? There is this tremendous patience in me, which I count on, all the time. I can wait. I can surely wait. For someday, Justice will be done and the weight will be same on both the sides. Until then, until than time wherein there would be a silver lining for the dark clouds hovering over my life now will happen, Until then, it is Justice Undone.
Poem - Long Waited.....
Don't let me stare into those eyez,
I might get lost b4 I realize,
There's so much to talk
But we never even sit, worse still never even walk,
We should go to a place that isn't so loud,
May be we should ride a cloud,
Melt our thoughts, fall down like snowflake,
This life i know we both hate,
Who else is there for me to talk to,
When you are with me, tell me who's there to stop you
I guess, the poetic part of my life was quite untouched and I think its time to get back to where I belong and the place where I can give my best. This one is dedicated to the one whom I love so much. I guess, its just not enough. Someday I guess the weight would be equal on both the sides.
I might get lost b4 I realize,
There's so much to talk
But we never even sit, worse still never even walk,
We should go to a place that isn't so loud,
May be we should ride a cloud,
Melt our thoughts, fall down like snowflake,
This life i know we both hate,
Who else is there for me to talk to,
When you are with me, tell me who's there to stop you
I guess, the poetic part of my life was quite untouched and I think its time to get back to where I belong and the place where I can give my best. This one is dedicated to the one whom I love so much. I guess, its just not enough. Someday I guess the weight would be equal on both the sides.
Expectations: Great deal of Gamble
"Why do you expect so much from your friends? Dont you think that this will just ruin your relation with one and all? I hope you have foreseen what expecting a lot from others can bring you. For everything there is a limit, and I believe that this is for expecting from others as well."
Dont you ponder much over it. This aint a dialogue from a movie or a famous quote from a novel. This is what I have been seeing happening to various people in real life, and so many strings are attached to this, its merely impossible to cut this one out. Many have tried it, many have faced it, many have been trying to over come it. Some have over come it, and some have given up hopes of overcoming it. Question remains the same. Why would someone expect so much?
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. A lot of time has been spent in analysing the causes that leed to such a situation in anyone's life. Why take anyone else's life, take my own. I tried to think of various such incidents due to which I have lost gem of friends from my life. Some of them who can never return. I thought I was not touched by the curse of expecting a lot. But now, it seems to have returned. I am losing one such friend again.
Usually, for anyone, to expect a lot from someone, atleast one of the following should (or rather say, might) play a role;
1. The preson is the one whom he/she loves a lot. This would lead to expecting the other person to always be there. A lot of expectations build up. If the other person fails to live upto the mark, tendencies for the relation to break are much easier.
2. A very good friend whom you count a lot on. This would also result in circumstances as mentioned above.,
3. High career hopes, true value for the amount of work you do, a reward for being honest, or for delivering results as and when required and various other reasons which when listed, thousands of blogs would not be enough. I am sure you would agree with this.
In general, its the necessary hope that one has, that he or she needs to be wanted, the way they want to be wanted. If this were to happen everytime, there would be no concept of expecting. If there were no concept of expecting, there would be no struggle for giving out the best. As I said earlier, This comes up with lot many strings attached, it has become very intertwined.
Time has finally arrived. I have analysed various possible causes. Its good to be wanted, but its worse to be wanted that all the time. I guess, its better to maintain a low profile in expecting, rather than getting disappointed by expecting a lot.
"Satisfy the person who expects from you rather than surprising the person who never expected anything from you."
Dont you ponder much over it. This aint a dialogue from a movie or a famous quote from a novel. This is what I have been seeing happening to various people in real life, and so many strings are attached to this, its merely impossible to cut this one out. Many have tried it, many have faced it, many have been trying to over come it. Some have over come it, and some have given up hopes of overcoming it. Question remains the same. Why would someone expect so much?
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. A lot of time has been spent in analysing the causes that leed to such a situation in anyone's life. Why take anyone else's life, take my own. I tried to think of various such incidents due to which I have lost gem of friends from my life. Some of them who can never return. I thought I was not touched by the curse of expecting a lot. But now, it seems to have returned. I am losing one such friend again.
Usually, for anyone, to expect a lot from someone, atleast one of the following should (or rather say, might) play a role;
1. The preson is the one whom he/she loves a lot. This would lead to expecting the other person to always be there. A lot of expectations build up. If the other person fails to live upto the mark, tendencies for the relation to break are much easier.
2. A very good friend whom you count a lot on. This would also result in circumstances as mentioned above.,
3. High career hopes, true value for the amount of work you do, a reward for being honest, or for delivering results as and when required and various other reasons which when listed, thousands of blogs would not be enough. I am sure you would agree with this.
In general, its the necessary hope that one has, that he or she needs to be wanted, the way they want to be wanted. If this were to happen everytime, there would be no concept of expecting. If there were no concept of expecting, there would be no struggle for giving out the best. As I said earlier, This comes up with lot many strings attached, it has become very intertwined.
Time has finally arrived. I have analysed various possible causes. Its good to be wanted, but its worse to be wanted that all the time. I guess, its better to maintain a low profile in expecting, rather than getting disappointed by expecting a lot.
"Satisfy the person who expects from you rather than surprising the person who never expected anything from you."
Monstrous Mondays
Since my college life, I have always wondered as to what is Monday all about and why do all working homo sapiens get so much stressed about it. I have always wanted to experience such a thing. i was always curious to know as to what is the stressing factor and what makes people feel that monday is the most worst day of the week.
It been 2 years now. Two years of my working life. I think I very much know the meaning of a monstrous monday.
What began as a roller coster ride of work life, has suddenly turned into a very gruelling and tiresome journey.
Monday. Everyone hates it. It represents a very hectic day. All the fun filled activities done on weekend get forgotten and people are busy again. I think its the fact that work just gets piled up on weekends and we dont realise ntil it hits us back on monday.
Take for example a monday like today. No productive work done, no fun, no motivation. But just a consolation feeling that it is a part of this week and this month and would eventually pass by as a memory. I have seen so many colleagues slogging their ass out, and for them, time is just flying, I have moved into a new role, and have no clue how to spend the day.
I am hoping that mondays would again be as hectic as they used to be. But the essence would remain the same. I hate mondays!!!!!
It been 2 years now. Two years of my working life. I think I very much know the meaning of a monstrous monday.
What began as a roller coster ride of work life, has suddenly turned into a very gruelling and tiresome journey.
Monday. Everyone hates it. It represents a very hectic day. All the fun filled activities done on weekend get forgotten and people are busy again. I think its the fact that work just gets piled up on weekends and we dont realise ntil it hits us back on monday.
Take for example a monday like today. No productive work done, no fun, no motivation. But just a consolation feeling that it is a part of this week and this month and would eventually pass by as a memory. I have seen so many colleagues slogging their ass out, and for them, time is just flying, I have moved into a new role, and have no clue how to spend the day.
I am hoping that mondays would again be as hectic as they used to be. But the essence would remain the same. I hate mondays!!!!!
Cockroaches - They are everywhere!!!
Cockroaches, what a creature they are. Every time, I think about them, I begin to realise the need for their very survival over thousand's of years.
Be it homes, offices, or anywhere else. They are literally everywhere. They have a very unique body. I am not sure who it was, but whoever it was, has placed their name under the right taxonomy. They have a very unique way of survival and very shrewd nature. Very shy, very cowardish and funny nature.
I have seen them so many times, that I have begun to feel that I am living among cockroaches. When I say "I have begun to see them everywhere", I mean that people who exhibit the nature of a cockroach.
Its amazing thing as to the way a human adopts the thinking of an animal. Some attain the courage of an eagle, some attain the patience of a tortaise, some attain the hard working nature of an ant, while some attain the laziness of a snail!! But why a cockroach? There are much better animals wherein a human can learn from and apply the same in their daily lives.
I have been thinking a lot about it over the past week. I have come to a conclusion. Even a human has a feeling to survive under extreme conditions, (not high temperature, or under severe snow fall, neither in deserts nor in rains). These conditions pertain to life. Overcome situations that need them to survive difficult n down times. be it financial insecurities, career growth, personal life, social status, you name it and it is.
I have been working in IBM for last 20 months, and I have seen enough number of cockroaches at work. Some are being like a cockroach for a pay hike, some for incentives, some for promotions, some for even better reasons.. These come in different sizes and shapes. Some are tall, some short, some dark, some fair. Some try not to let you know they are hypocrites, some just make you know they are. They cannot withstand someone else's success, for they are jealous of it. Some cockroaches,like those who want to take others' happiness and try to feel great about it. Some are female, some male.. Wats surprising is the matter of fact that some are neither of these.
Be it homes, offices, or anywhere else. They are literally everywhere. They have a very unique body. I am not sure who it was, but whoever it was, has placed their name under the right taxonomy. They have a very unique way of survival and very shrewd nature. Very shy, very cowardish and funny nature.
I have seen them so many times, that I have begun to feel that I am living among cockroaches. When I say "I have begun to see them everywhere", I mean that people who exhibit the nature of a cockroach.
Its amazing thing as to the way a human adopts the thinking of an animal. Some attain the courage of an eagle, some attain the patience of a tortaise, some attain the hard working nature of an ant, while some attain the laziness of a snail!! But why a cockroach? There are much better animals wherein a human can learn from and apply the same in their daily lives.
I have been thinking a lot about it over the past week. I have come to a conclusion. Even a human has a feeling to survive under extreme conditions, (not high temperature, or under severe snow fall, neither in deserts nor in rains). These conditions pertain to life. Overcome situations that need them to survive difficult n down times. be it financial insecurities, career growth, personal life, social status, you name it and it is.
I have been working in IBM for last 20 months, and I have seen enough number of cockroaches at work. Some are being like a cockroach for a pay hike, some for incentives, some for promotions, some for even better reasons.. These come in different sizes and shapes. Some are tall, some short, some dark, some fair. Some try not to let you know they are hypocrites, some just make you know they are. They cannot withstand someone else's success, for they are jealous of it. Some cockroaches,like those who want to take others' happiness and try to feel great about it. Some are female, some male.. Wats surprising is the matter of fact that some are neither of these.
Beginning of the End
Time.. Never could be, never is, and never will be stoppped. Its like sand in one's fist. The more you try to hold it, the more it tries to slip away. If you stop to worry about it being in your hand, it slips anyways. Strange it is though, yet we live. Though changes are inevitable, they still occur. Changes are those moments in the lifetime of TIME..
I was once walking past a garden. It was so colourful, so beautiful,, There were so many trees, shrubs and herbs too.. There was a fountain. A fountain of growth. There were various kind of animals. Some tall, some short. Some thin, some broad. Some used to grumble, some used to be happy in what they got. It were as though the garden was more of a Jungle. Very beautiful from outside, but once you got in, it was never ending.
Sometimes you could hear birds chirping, sometimes you could see butterflies flying and at times, you would see some vultures grumbling on all these happiness. In such a place, some people like me, got tempted and stepped in. They figured out the rules and were trying to know various rituals in the same place. These people adopted the environment. After spending enough time, they started adapting to the environment.. Lets say, it took few months for them to get used to it.
While these few months passed, something was changing.. Though it was noticed but not stressed upon, something was changing..
All those creatures, those animals, those butterflies, that charm in the garden started to reduce. I guess, this was happening because the gardener did not pay enough attention. Far beyond this garden, another gardener and various other gardeners, were sowing seeds for a good harvest. These animals in the garden realised that there were other gardeners who could take care of them in a much better way. And slowly, one by one, they started moving out.
This trend continued for some more months. Those beautiful huge trees, which were bearing so many fruits, started to fade away. Those beautiful shrubs started to shrink. It was as though a curse fell upon the place. The trees that were giving shelter, soon were turning into Oak trees. The shrubs, started to wear out and slowly thorns, dry thorns came into picture. There was greenery, but it was customized only to certain sections of the garden.
As i said, some animals and other creatures in the garden moved out, the people who came in stayed back. They had only one intention. Irrespect to what happens in the garden, they were there to fulfill their purpose. Their very reason to exist. Because, the reason was a value that they could add for all the time they spent in the garden(unfortunately, it no longer was..) They united, though they already were, teir thought somehow had not resonated over a certain period of time. But as you know, whenever there occurs or certain period comes, which might question survival, like minded people unite. Sometimes, even those who are not of the same thinking unite too. Same thing happened here as well. All these people united to fight back, they had a cause. I say, they HAD a cause.
Various things were done. I guess, the world is in such a situation, that honesty never gets its true value. No matter how honest you are, how true you are to yourself, sometimes, rather say most of the times, it is not enough. I am of the kind that believes in giving honesty its very value at every step. Because, at the end of the day, when I look at myself, I should respect myself. So will others. And so were others in the garden who came along with me.
Al these people never changed. Many a turbulent situations came along. Many disturbing moments. Many frustrating situations. But they never deterred. As a matter of fact, they became stronger.
Wait a minute. I guess this began as the story about the garden, But its slowly telling us about the people who survived various tormenting situations. Was this the same garden which once tempted people to get in and be happy in it? Was it the same place that once saw various animals, birds, butterflies, a fountain of growth? Was this the same place which gave shelter and had a good gardener? Why did the garden change so much in such short time? Why did those few people never change and became stronger and are being respected so much?
Well, I guess the answer lies in TIME and the CHANGES it brought in. Only time can tell us what happens to the garden for the changes it is bringing in are vast, abrupt, disastrous. Most importantly, It is bringing in the best out of those few people. This is making them realise of what they are really capable of. Time will only unfold itself. All I can think of, as of now is, WAIT. Just wait. Wait to see the end as we have seen the BEGINNING OF THE END of a wonderful garden.....
I was once walking past a garden. It was so colourful, so beautiful,, There were so many trees, shrubs and herbs too.. There was a fountain. A fountain of growth. There were various kind of animals. Some tall, some short. Some thin, some broad. Some used to grumble, some used to be happy in what they got. It were as though the garden was more of a Jungle. Very beautiful from outside, but once you got in, it was never ending.
Sometimes you could hear birds chirping, sometimes you could see butterflies flying and at times, you would see some vultures grumbling on all these happiness. In such a place, some people like me, got tempted and stepped in. They figured out the rules and were trying to know various rituals in the same place. These people adopted the environment. After spending enough time, they started adapting to the environment.. Lets say, it took few months for them to get used to it.
While these few months passed, something was changing.. Though it was noticed but not stressed upon, something was changing..
All those creatures, those animals, those butterflies, that charm in the garden started to reduce. I guess, this was happening because the gardener did not pay enough attention. Far beyond this garden, another gardener and various other gardeners, were sowing seeds for a good harvest. These animals in the garden realised that there were other gardeners who could take care of them in a much better way. And slowly, one by one, they started moving out.
This trend continued for some more months. Those beautiful huge trees, which were bearing so many fruits, started to fade away. Those beautiful shrubs started to shrink. It was as though a curse fell upon the place. The trees that were giving shelter, soon were turning into Oak trees. The shrubs, started to wear out and slowly thorns, dry thorns came into picture. There was greenery, but it was customized only to certain sections of the garden.
As i said, some animals and other creatures in the garden moved out, the people who came in stayed back. They had only one intention. Irrespect to what happens in the garden, they were there to fulfill their purpose. Their very reason to exist. Because, the reason was a value that they could add for all the time they spent in the garden(unfortunately, it no longer was..) They united, though they already were, teir thought somehow had not resonated over a certain period of time. But as you know, whenever there occurs or certain period comes, which might question survival, like minded people unite. Sometimes, even those who are not of the same thinking unite too. Same thing happened here as well. All these people united to fight back, they had a cause. I say, they HAD a cause.
Various things were done. I guess, the world is in such a situation, that honesty never gets its true value. No matter how honest you are, how true you are to yourself, sometimes, rather say most of the times, it is not enough. I am of the kind that believes in giving honesty its very value at every step. Because, at the end of the day, when I look at myself, I should respect myself. So will others. And so were others in the garden who came along with me.
Al these people never changed. Many a turbulent situations came along. Many disturbing moments. Many frustrating situations. But they never deterred. As a matter of fact, they became stronger.
Wait a minute. I guess this began as the story about the garden, But its slowly telling us about the people who survived various tormenting situations. Was this the same garden which once tempted people to get in and be happy in it? Was it the same place that once saw various animals, birds, butterflies, a fountain of growth? Was this the same place which gave shelter and had a good gardener? Why did the garden change so much in such short time? Why did those few people never change and became stronger and are being respected so much?
Well, I guess the answer lies in TIME and the CHANGES it brought in. Only time can tell us what happens to the garden for the changes it is bringing in are vast, abrupt, disastrous. Most importantly, It is bringing in the best out of those few people. This is making them realise of what they are really capable of. Time will only unfold itself. All I can think of, as of now is, WAIT. Just wait. Wait to see the end as we have seen the BEGINNING OF THE END of a wonderful garden.....
I wish..
You are so different from the rest of the world
but you cannot see it, you need to be told.
I wish you could see what I saw in you,
only then you will know what I wrote is true.
The first time I saw you it was so unreal,
it was the day I began to feel that I am beginning to love you.
I wish I could see through your eyes
so I would know what you like to see.
I wish I knew your wishes,
so I could give you everything you want.
I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do,
and together we could make them come true.
I wish I knew what makes you happy,
so I could make you the happiest person in the world.
I wish I know a pretty song, I could sing for you
special words of love and joy, so we could start anew..
I wish I know a story to tell you every night
A sweet, romantic story, to make your heart feel light..
I wish I could write a poem, A verse to make you see
you mean more than all world and all it holds for me..
I wish I know what I could say or know what I could do..
To make you feel the love for me that I have always felt for you..
but you cannot see it, you need to be told.
I wish you could see what I saw in you,
only then you will know what I wrote is true.
The first time I saw you it was so unreal,
it was the day I began to feel that I am beginning to love you.
I wish I could see through your eyes
so I would know what you like to see.
I wish I knew your wishes,
so I could give you everything you want.
I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do,
and together we could make them come true.
I wish I knew what makes you happy,
so I could make you the happiest person in the world.
I wish I know a pretty song, I could sing for you
special words of love and joy, so we could start anew..
I wish I know a story to tell you every night
A sweet, romantic story, to make your heart feel light..
I wish I could write a poem, A verse to make you see
you mean more than all world and all it holds for me..
I wish I know what I could say or know what I could do..
To make you feel the love for me that I have always felt for you..
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