No, I'm not referring to the mask that Jim Carrey wore in the movie named "The Mask". I'm referring to a much more serious thought over here.
Time and time again, over and over again, I have seen people do this. As a person even I have done it and had been doing it. Most of the times i've done it to get rid of certain things/situations. Some times I have done it to a avoid certain people too. I am talking about the mask a person wears to not let others know what the person is all about. No matter who we are with, we always wear a mask. And we have been wearing it for such a long time that we have begin to forget who we really are. Not just me. It's the same with everyone around us. Sometimes I do not understand as to why we tend not to be who we really are.
Let me elaborate this even further. A guy and a girl, I will try to explain the phenomenon of wearing mask from both the views.
When a girl likes a guy or is in love with a guy, she would do so after having analyzed every possible way of failure of the relationship and only when she feels confident that the relation is not goig to fail, or say at the least when she is completely certain, she moves on to the next step. Until this point, she is wearing a mask. With that, her real identity is not visible to all, for she is afraid that someone might take an advantage of her. She resents her emotions, tries to strengthen herself, and at times becomes cold to even react.
Lets look how a guy thinks.
When a guy likes/loves a girl, all that goes on in his mind is how he can convince the girl that he is the one for her. In an event to pursue This he shuns his identity, wears a mask that resembles on how she wants him to be. Over a period of time, he has continues to be the same, and the mask he wore becomes his current identity. At this moment, no matter how much he tries to take it off, he now knows that he cannot forsake the mask.
Another instance, I will tell this from a guy's perspective only.
I would not agree if someone says that all the guys are unemotional. I would also disagree if you say that some guys are unemotional. All I say is all the guys are emotional. Just like any other girl. Afterall, it is the emotional quotient of a person that determines how well they can handle emotional levels in relation, be it a girl or be it a boy. Comin back to what I was saying, a guy also feels threatened as much as a girl does when his emotions are exposed. As a result, almost all put a mask of a hard hearted guy who could tolerate anythng. We all wear masks to protect ourselves. If it was for an instance or two, it is totally understandable as well acceptable. Unfortunately, these days, we end up wearing masks all the time. So much so that we don't know whom we are actually talkin to.
When I began thinking about this, I found that the feeling of being insecure is what leads us to wear a mask. I think the best way to possibly explain what I think, i will use my life. For quite a long time, I was under the impression that I must let anyone know what I as a person was. Yes, I always said what I wanted to, never thought twice, but at the sametime expressed any emotions I was going through. I never realized the mask concept until I began working. The insecurities were so much hovering at the workplace that I used to feel that I am working in the worldmofni security. It is only when I interacted with various people at work and understood the problems they face in their respective daily lives did I understand the actual importance of the mask in lives. Until then I had no idea what why how where and when the mask would be needed.
I would be a liar if I were to say I never wore a mask to hide my insecurities to protect myself from various possible attacks. But some over period of time, while I as using this mask, I began losing my actual identity. I now had a different persona of myself and everyte I looked at the mirror I knew I was not looking at myself. It is when I could see no more of th new me did I realize one thing..
It is not how well we are when we wear a mask to get what we want or be, but it is how well we can be without wearing the mask.
Monday 27 July 2009
Sunday 19 July 2009
Trip to Mangalore - Part 2
So it was around 11pm, I was sitting on bed and surfing the channels in the tiny tv in the room that I had hired for two days. Whilst I was changing the channels., my mind began taking me into different places. It was like a feeling of being in more than one place in a single time. As the minutes began to pass, and the rain moved on from mere drizzles to heavy showers, and as the temperature of the place began going down the mercury line, I was being crowded in the world where my thoughts were the living beings. Too many things had happened in one day. Love, happiness, joy, fun dissapointment, name it. I had experienced it all. Although, I will not write about the sadness in here for this post, I will surely write on how the next day unfolded.
As decided, I was to go to Naveera's home for a lovely lunch. Here is the thing. It is not very common a thing, atleast for the last decade, which by the way, now is not a big thing anyways. You will know what I am talking about. So as decided, I was to vist her home for lunch. I have a very terrible habbit of not visiting someone for lunch at their home and not take anything. I was not sure what her parents would like or for that matter what they do not. Without complicating my mind in order to get something, I headed to Nilgiris, and got some fruits (wet as well as dry fruits). As much tiredness was trying to overpower me, mainly the fatigue of travelling and the sleepless night due to various things, I managed to stay lively.
As I entered her home, her sister Raveena greeted me in, followed by her Mom. Lovely home, big, spacious, had a lot of positive energy that made me feel the positive vibes as I entered the home. As I found out it was not their own house, I realised the cost of rent for such a mansion looking for so less that a similar one in Bangalore would be almost 5 times to what they were paying.I was stunned. The balcony had a view of a huge garden like space, and a feeling of a jungle. The green made the leaves of the trees look lush green. Greenery at its real green essence. When I saw the trees, I was very happy, it was jungle calling for me i guess.
UNcle came aftera while and we began talking,. Apparently they were in Bangalore for 8 years. So him and I started talking about how Bangalore was, like 8-10 years ago. We both kinda got along really well. We had too many topics to discuss. I did not realize it was 1430, a time that was already too late to have lunch, but for me, I was just getting started. I am a person who loves food, and if it is meat, I love it all the more. No offence to vegetarians here, but animals/birds are there for a reason too! Aunt had cooked Chicken curry, Chicken Biriyani, soup, rotti. It was indeed a delicious lunch. No complaints whatsoever. I was really hungry when I began lunch and afterI finished, was hungry no more. I was full.
We had vanilla ice cream after the lunch, I was even more happier. We sat there, watching a cartoon, waiting for the rain to stop showing its magic. This was the first instance of me going to a coastal place and not hitting the beach. The moment it stopped raining, we decided to step out of the house and head for the beach. This made me happy. IN 20 minutes, we reaced a place called as "Sultan Batteri".. I was told that the journey to reach the beach is really good, never anticipated it to be this good.
After travelling in the auto for about 20 minutes, we reached the banks of a river, I dont know the name, but it sure is a river. No doubt on that one. We had to take a ferry, cross the river and go to the other side to reach the beach. Just as we sat in the ferry, it began raining. I must say, the scene was really eye pleasing. We sitting in the ferry, clouds showering the water droplets, the view of the river waves creating uncountable ripples due to the rain water was really amazing. I loved it. The blowing breeze just added to the pleasure. The roars of the sea waves hitting the shore were so loud, we could actually hear them while we were sitting in the ferry..
Rs. 3/- for one way travel, so its Rs. 6/- person to go to the beach and come back. Around 100 trips with a minimum of 30 people in one trip. That is Rs. 18000/- per day.. For a moment, I felt I was better off being a ferry owner !! That is how much they make in a day and it increases in the actual season. They appeared to be happy in what they do and were getting paid good as well. I told my friend, "You know something, I miss this life in Bangalore."
We reached the shore and got off the ferry and began to walk towards the shore. As I walked, the happiness in me began multiplying. Beaches, for some unknown reason to me, bring pleasure in me and fill me with joy. I get completely refreshed when I hit a beach. All my tensons, all my worries, all the pain and the sadness just disappear when I see the waves hittting the shore, As much dreadful as the waves are, when they hit the shore, they seem to low down on energy. Similar to the problems. As much dreadful the problems appear to be, they always mellow down over a time when they meet the person who has a solution for them.
We had to walk a while to reach the shore and this walk was what made the path to the shore all the more divine. We had to walk through huge trees, a small path that was formed due to people walking for a long time. The moment I saw this, I smiled, Again, due to the train, the leaves were so green, the sea almost lost its beauty because of the lovely large trees. The more we reaced nearer the shore, the more louder was the sound of the waves. The more louder the sound of waves became, the more happier I grew. The moment we came out of the belt of trees, the wind hit my face and I knew, this was the time I replenish my energy levels. Ah the ocean.. I love thee..
Long stretch of the lovely large trees by the shore made the beach look really good and it being less inhabitated by people made it even more a pleasurable sight. Three of us decided to take a walk. Walk along the beach ! For an hour we were walking. Never really felt like an hour had passed by. Seeing the birds get back to their nest made me feel that no matter how much we focus on career, life, luxury, at the end of the day, we always need our loved ones, to give that essence for our survival. As we walked, we also noticed that a huge shipo had sunk in few hundred meters from the shore. It only made me realize that a man can never be as strong as nature is. The waves were hitting the 98% sunk ship with the might they always do. The resulting sound was similar to the thrill the roar of a lion is. Just as we walked further, we saw another ship that was sunk, but this was much more clearly visible. Same thoughts, came along this time as well.
We decided to head back as it was getting dark. While we were waiting for the ferry come pick us up, I again said "I miss this life of simplicity in Bangalore. Living with nature, being in its arms, and not living in the concrete jungle makes me really happy. Here I do not have to worry about internet, downloads, facebook, colleagues, my job that is so challenging.. Life here is so technology free, I just am very happy.. But alas! I have to go back, to ensure these little pleasures are valued all the more for in missing something we know the actual value of it." Although my bus back to Bangalore was at 2215, we had much more time to spend, so we decided to go to Coffee Day.
We came to the same mall where we were the previous evening. As we sat in the coffee day, we began discussing about the good old school days and all those hot topics of the school. Honestly, no matter how many times you talk about school days, you never get to drain the fun element. Every time you talk, you find out something new. No other phase of one's life has this much amount of fun element. I am just glad I had such a phenomenal childhood and school days. We laughed at so many pranks that there played in school. It was really fun cherishing those days. Alright alright, I know I am repeating the same thing over and over again.
For a moment, I wished the time had just stopped and we continued talking all the more, but we all had to move on. Bidding adieu to the lovely ladies, I headed back to my room at the lodge. Little did I know what the night had in store for me..
..To be continued in Part 3..
As decided, I was to go to Naveera's home for a lovely lunch. Here is the thing. It is not very common a thing, atleast for the last decade, which by the way, now is not a big thing anyways. You will know what I am talking about. So as decided, I was to vist her home for lunch. I have a very terrible habbit of not visiting someone for lunch at their home and not take anything. I was not sure what her parents would like or for that matter what they do not. Without complicating my mind in order to get something, I headed to Nilgiris, and got some fruits (wet as well as dry fruits). As much tiredness was trying to overpower me, mainly the fatigue of travelling and the sleepless night due to various things, I managed to stay lively.
As I entered her home, her sister Raveena greeted me in, followed by her Mom. Lovely home, big, spacious, had a lot of positive energy that made me feel the positive vibes as I entered the home. As I found out it was not their own house, I realised the cost of rent for such a mansion looking for so less that a similar one in Bangalore would be almost 5 times to what they were paying.I was stunned. The balcony had a view of a huge garden like space, and a feeling of a jungle. The green made the leaves of the trees look lush green. Greenery at its real green essence. When I saw the trees, I was very happy, it was jungle calling for me i guess.
UNcle came aftera while and we began talking,. Apparently they were in Bangalore for 8 years. So him and I started talking about how Bangalore was, like 8-10 years ago. We both kinda got along really well. We had too many topics to discuss. I did not realize it was 1430, a time that was already too late to have lunch, but for me, I was just getting started. I am a person who loves food, and if it is meat, I love it all the more. No offence to vegetarians here, but animals/birds are there for a reason too! Aunt had cooked Chicken curry, Chicken Biriyani, soup, rotti. It was indeed a delicious lunch. No complaints whatsoever. I was really hungry when I began lunch and afterI finished, was hungry no more. I was full.
We had vanilla ice cream after the lunch, I was even more happier. We sat there, watching a cartoon, waiting for the rain to stop showing its magic. This was the first instance of me going to a coastal place and not hitting the beach. The moment it stopped raining, we decided to step out of the house and head for the beach. This made me happy. IN 20 minutes, we reaced a place called as "Sultan Batteri".. I was told that the journey to reach the beach is really good, never anticipated it to be this good.
After travelling in the auto for about 20 minutes, we reached the banks of a river, I dont know the name, but it sure is a river. No doubt on that one. We had to take a ferry, cross the river and go to the other side to reach the beach. Just as we sat in the ferry, it began raining. I must say, the scene was really eye pleasing. We sitting in the ferry, clouds showering the water droplets, the view of the river waves creating uncountable ripples due to the rain water was really amazing. I loved it. The blowing breeze just added to the pleasure. The roars of the sea waves hitting the shore were so loud, we could actually hear them while we were sitting in the ferry..
Rs. 3/- for one way travel, so its Rs. 6/- person to go to the beach and come back. Around 100 trips with a minimum of 30 people in one trip. That is Rs. 18000/- per day.. For a moment, I felt I was better off being a ferry owner !! That is how much they make in a day and it increases in the actual season. They appeared to be happy in what they do and were getting paid good as well. I told my friend, "You know something, I miss this life in Bangalore."
We reached the shore and got off the ferry and began to walk towards the shore. As I walked, the happiness in me began multiplying. Beaches, for some unknown reason to me, bring pleasure in me and fill me with joy. I get completely refreshed when I hit a beach. All my tensons, all my worries, all the pain and the sadness just disappear when I see the waves hittting the shore, As much dreadful as the waves are, when they hit the shore, they seem to low down on energy. Similar to the problems. As much dreadful the problems appear to be, they always mellow down over a time when they meet the person who has a solution for them.
We had to walk a while to reach the shore and this walk was what made the path to the shore all the more divine. We had to walk through huge trees, a small path that was formed due to people walking for a long time. The moment I saw this, I smiled, Again, due to the train, the leaves were so green, the sea almost lost its beauty because of the lovely large trees. The more we reaced nearer the shore, the more louder was the sound of the waves. The more louder the sound of waves became, the more happier I grew. The moment we came out of the belt of trees, the wind hit my face and I knew, this was the time I replenish my energy levels. Ah the ocean.. I love thee..
Long stretch of the lovely large trees by the shore made the beach look really good and it being less inhabitated by people made it even more a pleasurable sight. Three of us decided to take a walk. Walk along the beach ! For an hour we were walking. Never really felt like an hour had passed by. Seeing the birds get back to their nest made me feel that no matter how much we focus on career, life, luxury, at the end of the day, we always need our loved ones, to give that essence for our survival. As we walked, we also noticed that a huge shipo had sunk in few hundred meters from the shore. It only made me realize that a man can never be as strong as nature is. The waves were hitting the 98% sunk ship with the might they always do. The resulting sound was similar to the thrill the roar of a lion is. Just as we walked further, we saw another ship that was sunk, but this was much more clearly visible. Same thoughts, came along this time as well.
We decided to head back as it was getting dark. While we were waiting for the ferry come pick us up, I again said "I miss this life of simplicity in Bangalore. Living with nature, being in its arms, and not living in the concrete jungle makes me really happy. Here I do not have to worry about internet, downloads, facebook, colleagues, my job that is so challenging.. Life here is so technology free, I just am very happy.. But alas! I have to go back, to ensure these little pleasures are valued all the more for in missing something we know the actual value of it." Although my bus back to Bangalore was at 2215, we had much more time to spend, so we decided to go to Coffee Day.
We came to the same mall where we were the previous evening. As we sat in the coffee day, we began discussing about the good old school days and all those hot topics of the school. Honestly, no matter how many times you talk about school days, you never get to drain the fun element. Every time you talk, you find out something new. No other phase of one's life has this much amount of fun element. I am just glad I had such a phenomenal childhood and school days. We laughed at so many pranks that there played in school. It was really fun cherishing those days. Alright alright, I know I am repeating the same thing over and over again.
For a moment, I wished the time had just stopped and we continued talking all the more, but we all had to move on. Bidding adieu to the lovely ladies, I headed back to my room at the lodge. Little did I know what the night had in store for me..
..To be continued in Part 3..
Friday 17 July 2009
Trip to Mangalore - Part 1
Mixed emotions is what I am going through right now. Sometimes I think it is good if we do not plan anything and let life take it's course. Just sometimes..
A trip to Mangalore happened in just a discussion over a call. She asked me to come and i said yes. That is how I ended u spending my previous weekend. At Mangalore, and it was never short of a roller coaster ride, time loved swiftly and made me go through so many things. Hence, as
mentioned earlier, I am going through mixed emotions. As I write this, all the events that occurred in last 48 hours are just flashing in my eyes, and for once, I am not resenting any of them. As I write, I realize that the events have taught me immense lessons.
Having taken leave on Friday and on Monday, I had ensured to have adequate time for the long weekend that I had planned. I am glad I planned it, and in a while you will know why..
Somehow, no matter how much you plan and prepare, when it's time for you to either go board the bus or reach a railway station or airport, panic shows up. Thisjis something I have been wondering about. It was same with me. On Friday I had to attend. Wedding of my very dear and good Friend from school. After that, same back home, watched a movie, slept for an hour. Went out to get some DVD's that the lady wanted. Came back and watched two episodes of prison break final season, it was ok. I guess somehow time slipped away. Finally I got the bus and there I was, on my journey to Mangalore, by bus.
Took us almost 9 hours, in Volvo, to reach Mangalore. Though I had visited the place a few times, the names of the areas are something that I just cannot get around with. I had to book a room at a lodge and am glad I had asked her to check and message me the names with the areas in which they were. In an area called Kankanady, there is a lodge named West Side Inn. Got myself a single bedroom without AC. Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is the real terrible season to visit a Coastal area. I was welcomed with heavy rain, with the gushing sound of the droplets hitting everything when they came crashing down from the skies.
In a land and place unknown to me, I preferred to stay back at the lodge until I got further instructions on what I had to do. While I was waiting, I managed to refresh myself. I was not really tired as the volvo was quite good for travelling long distances by road.
As there were not too many places to hang out in Mangalore, we decided to meet at a mall called as the 'Bharath Mall'. Luckily, Transformers 2 had released. We now had a good reason to watch it, to kill time!! As I got to the mall earlier, I picked up the tickets. Three of them. Naveera, Raveena and me. Doctor, budding engineer and an established labor respectively. Yeah you read it right!
We spent almost an hour and a half at the coffee day at the mall and spoke about almost everything under the sun. I had met my friends from school after almost 12 years. As long as that might seem to be, when we met, we felt as if school days were over just a few weeks back. I must say, that is the charm if the school days. May be that is the reason we all muss our school days so much. You know, I have met people who just end up being jealous when they get to hear their friend is probably going to get married soon. I had been wondering about that for a while now. Looks like I now have an answer for that one. Apparently people compare themselves to the one getting married and feel bad that they were not able to find someone for themselves. Well, I guessnin their case insecurity always manages to strike a win. But when I get to hear a friend of mne is probably going to get married, I sme and say to myself, "I am glad I'm jot n that race anymore".
So yes, the doctor had got a marriage proposal and she was kinda liking the guy. I was happy for her, especially after all the things that she had gone through. And this was the news she wanted to tell me. I kinda anticipated it so was not really surprised. But at the end of the discussion I was very happy for her. So without wasting much more time in the coffee day, we headed to window shop in the mall, for there was quite a while left for the movie to begin. Half an hour later we were in the cine hall waiting fir the most anticipated summer action flick from the prodution house that was seven seas across, yupp that's the Hollywood.
Almost two and half hours later, I knew one thing. Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime were everyone's favourite. Although story was not that great, action sequences were really mind blowing. Michael Bay has his way of exploding things for sure. Give him permission and he wil blow pyramids in the most coolest manner for sure. Transformers 2: rise of the fallen was a visual treat for sure, so was Megan Fox, god she is hot.
We later went for bowling.. That was fun all the wAy. To teach girls to bowl is like inventing a new element. But the joy is worth it. Raveena played few car races and I was quite surprised with her driving skills. She wl do great in Destruction Derby for sure, no doubt about it. This was followed by touch hockey, oh I love that game. We played that game for a while and then moved out.. It as time for the ladies to get back to their home, and I had to go to my room. Damn, these are the times when I wish the might lives in certain places to last all night long..
So that was the part 1 for about the trip to Mangalore.. Part 2 is more exciting!!
A trip to Mangalore happened in just a discussion over a call. She asked me to come and i said yes. That is how I ended u spending my previous weekend. At Mangalore, and it was never short of a roller coaster ride, time loved swiftly and made me go through so many things. Hence, as
mentioned earlier, I am going through mixed emotions. As I write this, all the events that occurred in last 48 hours are just flashing in my eyes, and for once, I am not resenting any of them. As I write, I realize that the events have taught me immense lessons.
Having taken leave on Friday and on Monday, I had ensured to have adequate time for the long weekend that I had planned. I am glad I planned it, and in a while you will know why..
Somehow, no matter how much you plan and prepare, when it's time for you to either go board the bus or reach a railway station or airport, panic shows up. Thisjis something I have been wondering about. It was same with me. On Friday I had to attend. Wedding of my very dear and good Friend from school. After that, same back home, watched a movie, slept for an hour. Went out to get some DVD's that the lady wanted. Came back and watched two episodes of prison break final season, it was ok. I guess somehow time slipped away. Finally I got the bus and there I was, on my journey to Mangalore, by bus.
Took us almost 9 hours, in Volvo, to reach Mangalore. Though I had visited the place a few times, the names of the areas are something that I just cannot get around with. I had to book a room at a lodge and am glad I had asked her to check and message me the names with the areas in which they were. In an area called Kankanady, there is a lodge named West Side Inn. Got myself a single bedroom without AC. Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is the real terrible season to visit a Coastal area. I was welcomed with heavy rain, with the gushing sound of the droplets hitting everything when they came crashing down from the skies.
In a land and place unknown to me, I preferred to stay back at the lodge until I got further instructions on what I had to do. While I was waiting, I managed to refresh myself. I was not really tired as the volvo was quite good for travelling long distances by road.
As there were not too many places to hang out in Mangalore, we decided to meet at a mall called as the 'Bharath Mall'. Luckily, Transformers 2 had released. We now had a good reason to watch it, to kill time!! As I got to the mall earlier, I picked up the tickets. Three of them. Naveera, Raveena and me. Doctor, budding engineer and an established labor respectively. Yeah you read it right!
We spent almost an hour and a half at the coffee day at the mall and spoke about almost everything under the sun. I had met my friends from school after almost 12 years. As long as that might seem to be, when we met, we felt as if school days were over just a few weeks back. I must say, that is the charm if the school days. May be that is the reason we all muss our school days so much. You know, I have met people who just end up being jealous when they get to hear their friend is probably going to get married soon. I had been wondering about that for a while now. Looks like I now have an answer for that one. Apparently people compare themselves to the one getting married and feel bad that they were not able to find someone for themselves. Well, I guessnin their case insecurity always manages to strike a win. But when I get to hear a friend of mne is probably going to get married, I sme and say to myself, "I am glad I'm jot n that race anymore".
So yes, the doctor had got a marriage proposal and she was kinda liking the guy. I was happy for her, especially after all the things that she had gone through. And this was the news she wanted to tell me. I kinda anticipated it so was not really surprised. But at the end of the discussion I was very happy for her. So without wasting much more time in the coffee day, we headed to window shop in the mall, for there was quite a while left for the movie to begin. Half an hour later we were in the cine hall waiting fir the most anticipated summer action flick from the prodution house that was seven seas across, yupp that's the Hollywood.
Almost two and half hours later, I knew one thing. Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime were everyone's favourite. Although story was not that great, action sequences were really mind blowing. Michael Bay has his way of exploding things for sure. Give him permission and he wil blow pyramids in the most coolest manner for sure. Transformers 2: rise of the fallen was a visual treat for sure, so was Megan Fox, god she is hot.
We later went for bowling.. That was fun all the wAy. To teach girls to bowl is like inventing a new element. But the joy is worth it. Raveena played few car races and I was quite surprised with her driving skills. She wl do great in Destruction Derby for sure, no doubt about it. This was followed by touch hockey, oh I love that game. We played that game for a while and then moved out.. It as time for the ladies to get back to their home, and I had to go to my room. Damn, these are the times when I wish the might lives in certain places to last all night long..
So that was the part 1 for about the trip to Mangalore.. Part 2 is more exciting!!
Monday 13 July 2009
Amrutha's Wedding
Date: 10 July 2009
Venue: Bunt's Society Hall at Vijayanagar, Bangalore
Time: 10:45am
As I woke up with laziness filled in me, I found that I had no mood to attend the wedding. But I remember what I had told Amrutha. I remember that day when she called me and told me that her marriage got fixed and she would be gettin married in few months. I was so happy for her. For I remember how much she wanted to get married and how much struggle and more struggle her parents were putting in searching a decent groom for her. I must tell you, their efforts really pAid off!!!!
So here I am, sitting in the hall, looking at the proceedings of the wedding. I now begin to think that day whe she called mr to invite me for her engagement. I really wanted to go. But due to my work schexile I could not attend her wedding. Looking at the arrangements and importance given to every minute detail of the wedding, I am sure the engagement went very well too.
Dressed in a typical south Indian way, a saree with lot of fashionable golden jewellery, a lovely hair do that is decorated with White flowers, and the most important thing, a great smile on face, I see my friend fr my school days sitting with a man equally dressed in a typical south Indian fashion, no shirt, only a White dhothi, aa lovely White cloth with silk embroidery as a turban, and equally great smile on his face s well. In addition to that both wear a garland around their nck that just adds to the picturesque scene in this hall. The hall is filled with humdred's of people, looks like it's a fashion show for marrid woman, for most of them find marriages as a platform to display their jewellery collection as well as their clothe collection. Poor husband's of theirs. I shall cover it in some other blog but right now I happy and I will stick to happiness.
There is a saying in Indian customs. The amount of happiness in marriage, satisfaction and joy in marriage is directly proportional to the amount of people that attend the wedding. With that said, there is no doubt mind that my lovely friend will be happy. Just as I think about her future married life, I get flashes of our childhood. Those golden school days, those years that were lovely and filled us with cherishable everlasting memories. The time we had spent in school remind me of fun times, and looking at my friend with her partner for life makes me realize that life indeed has come a long way, a real long way. Although we did come a long way, one fact remains and for my friend, the journey has just begun.
This one is to you my friend.
Wish you both a very happy, fun filled, roller coaster ride like, a dream like and enriching married life..
Venue: Bunt's Society Hall at Vijayanagar, Bangalore
Time: 10:45am
As I woke up with laziness filled in me, I found that I had no mood to attend the wedding. But I remember what I had told Amrutha. I remember that day when she called me and told me that her marriage got fixed and she would be gettin married in few months. I was so happy for her. For I remember how much she wanted to get married and how much struggle and more struggle her parents were putting in searching a decent groom for her. I must tell you, their efforts really pAid off!!!!
So here I am, sitting in the hall, looking at the proceedings of the wedding. I now begin to think that day whe she called mr to invite me for her engagement. I really wanted to go. But due to my work schexile I could not attend her wedding. Looking at the arrangements and importance given to every minute detail of the wedding, I am sure the engagement went very well too.
Dressed in a typical south Indian way, a saree with lot of fashionable golden jewellery, a lovely hair do that is decorated with White flowers, and the most important thing, a great smile on face, I see my friend fr my school days sitting with a man equally dressed in a typical south Indian fashion, no shirt, only a White dhothi, aa lovely White cloth with silk embroidery as a turban, and equally great smile on his face s well. In addition to that both wear a garland around their nck that just adds to the picturesque scene in this hall. The hall is filled with humdred's of people, looks like it's a fashion show for marrid woman, for most of them find marriages as a platform to display their jewellery collection as well as their clothe collection. Poor husband's of theirs. I shall cover it in some other blog but right now I happy and I will stick to happiness.
There is a saying in Indian customs. The amount of happiness in marriage, satisfaction and joy in marriage is directly proportional to the amount of people that attend the wedding. With that said, there is no doubt mind that my lovely friend will be happy. Just as I think about her future married life, I get flashes of our childhood. Those golden school days, those years that were lovely and filled us with cherishable everlasting memories. The time we had spent in school remind me of fun times, and looking at my friend with her partner for life makes me realize that life indeed has come a long way, a real long way. Although we did come a long way, one fact remains and for my friend, the journey has just begun.
This one is to you my friend.
Wish you both a very happy, fun filled, roller coaster ride like, a dream like and enriching married life..
Thursday 9 July 2009
In being silent...
Well timed silence is more eloquent than speech. Well that's what a famous proverb quotes..
Never knew it could be such an influential a quote. For several years of my life, I have been a person who preferred expessing what was going in my mind. For instance, if someone was annoying I never really hesitated teliing it our, similarly if some girl wore a dress that she loved and yet looked ugly, I never really worried and told it directly. Through al those years of me being frank, yes that's what I had been telling myself, not once did I ever think that I could possibly be hurting someone. Well, I guess we al tend to do so when we think only about how we are and how we want to be. Atleast I was like that.
But almost for last two years, ever since I was knocked out my feet and fell flat on my face, I realized that life is not always about how I am and how I want to be. I realized it was all about how other around me are due to my presence and that gave the essence for my journey. Fateful as that night was, it opened the path which I wa required to travel in. With night spent in gruellin pain, I realized that I need to change the way I have been as a person.
I used to talk a lot, laugh a lot, have fun, joy and entertaiment a lot, go on frequent trips and spend money unwisely. In all this while I never really thought that a time would come when I would have to face certain situations for which I was probably lot prepared. People, my colleagues as well as my good friends thought that I was like an empty vessel that Just made noise noise and more noise. Although I never realized this and had to learn this the hard way.
It was this period that made me want solitude, longed for tranquility, wished for peace and struggled to bury the unwanted thoughts crowding my mind. Everything that once gave me joy, everything that once filled with love and happiness, everything thAt I needed, I just began resenting them. Be it those little talks with colleagues at work or be it those long conversations with my friends or for that matter b it th chats. I stopped everything. I shut myself from Everything I always wanted. All thr activitites that filled a certain kind of music in my life, I began fine tuning it until there was no tune. I now began listening to my inner voice, a voice that had been trying to tak to me for a long time and had gone unheard.
Although i had always been a person who gave importance to others I now realized that it is for greater good to let go of things that I held back. Sometimes the most toughest and pianful partnof grieving is in letting things go...
So yes, today after almost two years, I am back to where I belong.. Among people, renewed with freshness, with more respect being given to me. People often ask me as to why I don't talk much And why I don't react to situations. Here's the thing. Over a period of time you kinda grow mentally and the immature talks don't seem fun anymore and the childish behaviour does no good anymore. No, I am not saying that you stop having fun and become all serious in life. It's just that what you had been doing all this while do not make sense anymore. This happens when you know what is the path of your life and you have determined what should b th essence if your survival.
In addition to that, as days months and years pass by and get added to your stay at this planet, you realize that no matter how you react, people around you will always have a reason to complain and whine. It is only when you stop reacting that they do realize your importance. I don't say this because I had the need to be noticed, hell no. I am not in the league of the irritating pessimistic and annoying attention seeker, they are so sick. I did what I did to find what I had to find. No regrets whatsoever.
It is in being silent that u realized the importance of the spoken words. It is in being unemotional and cold hearted that I realized the importance of emotions and their true impact. The end result of the metamorphosis in my life is my ability to be there for others when they need me.
Never knew it could be such an influential a quote. For several years of my life, I have been a person who preferred expessing what was going in my mind. For instance, if someone was annoying I never really hesitated teliing it our, similarly if some girl wore a dress that she loved and yet looked ugly, I never really worried and told it directly. Through al those years of me being frank, yes that's what I had been telling myself, not once did I ever think that I could possibly be hurting someone. Well, I guess we al tend to do so when we think only about how we are and how we want to be. Atleast I was like that.
But almost for last two years, ever since I was knocked out my feet and fell flat on my face, I realized that life is not always about how I am and how I want to be. I realized it was all about how other around me are due to my presence and that gave the essence for my journey. Fateful as that night was, it opened the path which I wa required to travel in. With night spent in gruellin pain, I realized that I need to change the way I have been as a person.
I used to talk a lot, laugh a lot, have fun, joy and entertaiment a lot, go on frequent trips and spend money unwisely. In all this while I never really thought that a time would come when I would have to face certain situations for which I was probably lot prepared. People, my colleagues as well as my good friends thought that I was like an empty vessel that Just made noise noise and more noise. Although I never realized this and had to learn this the hard way.
It was this period that made me want solitude, longed for tranquility, wished for peace and struggled to bury the unwanted thoughts crowding my mind. Everything that once gave me joy, everything that once filled with love and happiness, everything thAt I needed, I just began resenting them. Be it those little talks with colleagues at work or be it those long conversations with my friends or for that matter b it th chats. I stopped everything. I shut myself from Everything I always wanted. All thr activitites that filled a certain kind of music in my life, I began fine tuning it until there was no tune. I now began listening to my inner voice, a voice that had been trying to tak to me for a long time and had gone unheard.
Although i had always been a person who gave importance to others I now realized that it is for greater good to let go of things that I held back. Sometimes the most toughest and pianful partnof grieving is in letting things go...
So yes, today after almost two years, I am back to where I belong.. Among people, renewed with freshness, with more respect being given to me. People often ask me as to why I don't talk much And why I don't react to situations. Here's the thing. Over a period of time you kinda grow mentally and the immature talks don't seem fun anymore and the childish behaviour does no good anymore. No, I am not saying that you stop having fun and become all serious in life. It's just that what you had been doing all this while do not make sense anymore. This happens when you know what is the path of your life and you have determined what should b th essence if your survival.
In addition to that, as days months and years pass by and get added to your stay at this planet, you realize that no matter how you react, people around you will always have a reason to complain and whine. It is only when you stop reacting that they do realize your importance. I don't say this because I had the need to be noticed, hell no. I am not in the league of the irritating pessimistic and annoying attention seeker, they are so sick. I did what I did to find what I had to find. No regrets whatsoever.
It is in being silent that u realized the importance of the spoken words. It is in being unemotional and cold hearted that I realized the importance of emotions and their true impact. The end result of the metamorphosis in my life is my ability to be there for others when they need me.
Wednesday 8 July 2009
Varying thoughts
Sometimes when I think on how my days go in general, I realize that there always is a pattern.
It all begins on how I feel when i get up. On most of the instances I make sure that I start my day with positive thoughts. But sometimes no matter how much I try to day always get messed up. This mainly happens due to the external circumstances which are the variables in our lives. Pardon my anology but the so called constants in our lives whom we call as family, at certain times, end up being variables.
It is really unfortunate that we are brought up in a society where certain dogmas are injected into our thughts right from our choldhood, which on more than one instance ruin our logical judgements and conclusions. May be that's the reason we always end up cynical about certain important things in life.
For instance,
Today when I woke up I began thinking about what I was going to do today. I realized that I BSA only few days left in the week and the weekend is going to be one filled with too many things to go and getting tired and feeling exhausted was going to be a part of it. When I began to thunk about this, there as some unkown resenent in me. Not that I head never experienced it but it had always been there.
So whenever we have to go through something that is going to require a lot of effort, we tend to find out an easier way of doing it. It might be anything, from A simple activity of brushing teeth in the morning or climbing a mountain. Like I said earlier, if we see a dauntig task at hand we tend to find an alternative, hoping that we don't have to go through the grueling task. Probably once in a while or rather day once in a bluemoon if we had that attitude, it could be ok, but on the contrary if that is how onenia all the time than it is really disappointing a thing.
It all begins on how I feel when i get up. On most of the instances I make sure that I start my day with positive thoughts. But sometimes no matter how much I try to day always get messed up. This mainly happens due to the external circumstances which are the variables in our lives. Pardon my anology but the so called constants in our lives whom we call as family, at certain times, end up being variables.
It is really unfortunate that we are brought up in a society where certain dogmas are injected into our thughts right from our choldhood, which on more than one instance ruin our logical judgements and conclusions. May be that's the reason we always end up cynical about certain important things in life.
For instance,
Today when I woke up I began thinking about what I was going to do today. I realized that I BSA only few days left in the week and the weekend is going to be one filled with too many things to go and getting tired and feeling exhausted was going to be a part of it. When I began to thunk about this, there as some unkown resenent in me. Not that I head never experienced it but it had always been there.
So whenever we have to go through something that is going to require a lot of effort, we tend to find out an easier way of doing it. It might be anything, from A simple activity of brushing teeth in the morning or climbing a mountain. Like I said earlier, if we see a dauntig task at hand we tend to find an alternative, hoping that we don't have to go through the grueling task. Probably once in a while or rather day once in a bluemoon if we had that attitude, it could be ok, but on the contrary if that is how onenia all the time than it is really disappointing a thing.
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