All is what it is only because of who it is..

I was listening to a song called "Kahin to Hogi woh" from the movie "Jaane tu ya jaane na" and I could not stop myself from writing this out..

It has been a while since I spoke to you..
It has been a while since I had a laugh with you..
It has been a while since I let out the frustration in me.
It has been a while since I have been calm..
It has been a while since I have realized some tantalizing truth..
It has been a while since we shared the magic of conversation
It has been a while since you spoke to me
It has been a while since you smiled
It has been a while since you teased me..


All these days, I was living to win. Hence the losses on the way made my wish to win a desperate measure.
It has now been a while for that.
But now, things are to change for good.
I have realized that playing a game to win is one thing, but an obsession to win is another.
I have now realized that I better enjoy the ride. Be it a win or be it a loss.


It has been a while since I laughed truly
It has been a while since I accepted the fact of life - change is constant
It has been a while since I have been sportive of unusual things
It has been a while since I have had real satisfying time
It has been a while since I have made a pact with myself and you..
It has been a while since I realized how much you want me to change for you
It has been a while since I have been changing for you
It has been a while since I understood why you wanted me to change
It has been a while since I became a person that I have never been,,


Wanting to say so many things,
Wanting to talk about so many things,
Wanting to discuss so many things,
Wanting to be with you in all the times - happy ones, sad ones, tough ones, easy ones, joyful ones, painful ones
Wanting to count every second I could - with you
Wanting to dream a dream with you - to fulfill it together
Wanting to share my love to you with you
Wanting to spend an evening walking with you by the shore while the water passed through our feet
Wanting to be there when you need me the most
Wanting to ensure myself that you are there for me - always
Wanting to have sweet talks, peppy conversations, a delightful meal, a cup of coffee..
I just want to you to be you when you are with me and me to be the person you would like me to be..


You are well read, determined a person as you have always been
You are a no nonsense person at times..
Also at times you are a bit pushy on the outside,
But you are also a person nobody would want to reckon with..
I am glad to have interacted with you, for which I now know how to think.
I now know how good I can continue to be..
Its just that what I want to say is never really complete with what I would really want to say,,


I am not asking you to love me
I am not really even asking you.
But isnt it alright If I cherish that hope in my heart?
If I dream of just holding your hand, It wil l hurt me - not you
I will try to keep my eyes from shining when they see you.
And I promise, I will try not to smile a special smile when you say hello.
But please, dont ask me not to love you.


I have been bottling up many things off late..
Like a bottle of coke with a mint in it that has been closed and stirred, waiting to explode when opened up,
Like a lava in a mountain that has been boiling at unimaginable degrees of heat and waiting to explode,
I have just been waiting to talk to you... be with you.. know you... I just hope that one day you would know how I feel and what I go through..