In being silent...

Well timed silence is more eloquent than speech. Well that's what a famous proverb quotes..

Never knew it could be such an influential a quote. For several years of my life, I have been a person who preferred expessing what was going in my mind. For instance, if someone was annoying I never really hesitated teliing it our, similarly if some girl wore a dress that she loved and yet looked ugly, I never really worried and told it directly. Through al those years of me being frank, yes that's what I had been telling myself, not once did I ever think that I could possibly be hurting someone. Well, I guess we al tend to do so when we think only about how we are and how we want to be. Atleast I was like that.

But almost for last two years, ever since I was knocked out my feet and fell flat on my face, I realized that life is not always about how I am and how I want to be. I realized it was all about how other around me are due to my presence and that gave the essence for my journey. Fateful as that night was, it opened the path which I wa required to travel in. With night spent in gruellin pain, I realized that I need to change the way I have been as a person.

I used to talk a lot, laugh a lot, have fun, joy and entertaiment a lot, go on frequent trips and spend money unwisely. In all this while I never really thought that a time would come when I would have to face certain situations for which I was probably lot prepared. People, my colleagues as well as my good friends thought that I was like an empty vessel that Just made noise noise and more noise. Although I never realized this and had to learn this the hard way.

It was this period that made me want solitude, longed for tranquility, wished for peace and struggled to bury the unwanted thoughts crowding my mind. Everything that once gave me joy, everything that once filled with love and happiness, everything thAt I needed, I just began resenting them. Be it those little talks with colleagues at work or be it those long conversations with my friends or for that matter b it th chats. I stopped everything. I shut myself from Everything I always wanted. All thr activitites that filled a certain kind of music in my life, I began fine tuning it until there was no tune. I now began listening to my inner voice, a voice that had been trying to tak to me for a long time and had gone unheard.

Although i had always been a person who gave importance to others I now realized that it is for greater good to let go of things that I held back. Sometimes the most toughest and pianful partnof grieving is in letting things go...

So yes, today after almost two years, I am back to where I belong.. Among people, renewed with freshness, with more respect being given to me. People often ask me as to why I don't talk much And why I don't react to situations. Here's the thing. Over a period of time you kinda grow mentally and the immature talks don't seem fun anymore and the childish behaviour does no good anymore. No, I am not saying that you stop having fun and become all serious in life. It's just that what you had been doing all this while do not make sense anymore. This happens when you know what is the path of your life and you have determined what should b th essence if your survival.

In addition to that, as days months and years pass by and get added to your stay at this planet, you realize that no matter how you react, people around you will always have a reason to complain and whine. It is only when you stop reacting that they do realize your importance. I don't say this because I had the need to be noticed, hell no. I am not in the league of the irritating pessimistic and annoying attention seeker, they are so sick. I did what I did to find what I had to find. No regrets whatsoever.

It is in being silent that u realized the importance of the spoken words. It is in being unemotional and cold hearted that I realized the importance of emotions and their true impact. The end result of the metamorphosis in my life is my ability to be there for others when they need me.