Days become months,and months years,
But loneliness still reigns above all my fears,
For the years that have passed,
Ive been outrun outdone outclassed,
Loneliness has been a constant companion,
This friend in need is a pest indeed!
Loneliness is a presence, a being
An old enemy/friend/lover who stalks my heart.
Loneliness is darkness
A never-ending night.
Even though the black won’t go away,
You’ll never fall asleep.
Because loneliness sparks a fear
And unlike other nightmares
Awakening will not vanish it;
For the darkness is too strong
To allow any rest.
Hurting inside, no one to talk to
to talk this mood through with,
I am used to this solitary introspection
but it still hurts.
After all this time of being alone-
all the months, seasons, people behind me
I still don't get used to the loneliness.
I tried real hard to do this, I tried real hard to make it last
but you can't move on to the future if you can't let go of the past
I dream, I dream of my misery gone
For I had a loved one who is suddenly gone
I Believe in fate for it has lots to take
I Believe in despair for life is not fair
For I had a loved one who is suddenly gone
I dream, I dream of my misery gone
Friday, 11 September 2009
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Music of the Heart
As I was sitting in the cab on my way back from work, drop by drop, the droplets from the sky came falling down to the earth. In no time, the sound of the rain became so much that it started making me feel good. Stretched my hand out the window, felt the rain, smelled the mud that the breeze carried. As I was living in this moment, amidst the traffic, the song in my ipod that I was listening to, and all the noise around me, I felt my heart beat. Just as began feeling the thumping, thoughts began crowding me..
Sounds that were never heard, Words that were never spoken, Eyes that never saw, Feeling that never was felt, Love that never was returned, Passion that never was given, Pleasure that never was shown, Tears that always were felt, Pain that always was known, Sorrow that never goes away, Happiness that struggles to stay, my heart continued to beat.. As I continued to feel the thumping of my heart, in my heart I realized that many things existed within. I felt them all.
An emotion is a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Feeling on the other hand is a term we use to describe something that we have already experienced before. While an emotion is more of a soul based concept, feeling is much related to the physical aspects of a person. We never say "I am emotionally hot" but we do say "I feel hot". While I thought the difference between an emotion and a feeling, I realized that almost all of the instances, we tend to diminish the boundary between these two terms and often use one in the place of the other. So much so that both of them have similar meanings in our life. I guess, this is where the heart really plays a role. A role, that perhaps makes a person be what s/he wants to be.
Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub, that is how the rhythm of the heart is. It never goes Lub-Lub-Dub or Lub-Dub-Dub. There is a specific tempo, which in medical terms is called as heart rate. Its amazing to see how that works. For we all know that heart is the organ that pumps blood to all the parts of the body, in emotion, we think that differently. For instance, as of now, I think differently. While my heart continues to pump blood, it also pumps emotions and feelings into my body. As much as my mind wants to control, the involuntary action of an heart superseeds the voluntary requirement of my mind. So, what then is the music of heart?
From what I understand, it is the heart rate that determines the music. Music is a form of art whose medium is sound. If we did not hear the sound of the beats of our heart, we would not know the music of the heart. Music is not just made of rythm, it is also made up of tempo, pitch and various other factors. So is the heartbeat. When we are at ease, heart is in its normal beating rate. When we are sad, it slows down a bit and so it does when are going through a low phase such as depression or low self confidence. It speeds up when we are excited just like some real fast music of some well accomplished rock band. The emotions we are in, the feelings we experience are the external factors that enhance/suppress the music within us.
Just as I say that, another thing comes to my mind. People who love a person or who love a person at very first sight often say that they felt their souls resonate. I might get too technical here, so do pardon me. Resonance occurs when two systems oscillate at same frequency. Strange isnt it? Often only those people love each other who have similar interests or have same view on life or something that is similar. I guess their hearts have similar music and music as an entity does possess certain frequency too. And when the music of two different hearts meet, and oscillate at the same frequency, voila you have Love! We can say the same thing about hate or any negative aspect too.
In addition to that, think of this. Of all the music that we listen on a daily basis, if a music has good drum beats, we often tend to like that almost instantly. Just as we hear those drum beats in the music, we feel that the heart is thumping as well and if there is something we can relate the thumping of our hearts to, we instantly like it or for that matter that being. From innocence begins our journey of life, followed by ignorance and later comes the habit of acceptance. In all this, if there is something that never changes, its the heartbeat of us. Perhaps it is very true that music of the heart is the best music in the world for it continues to tell you that you can indeed survive when everyone you know turns their back at you.
On a closing note, like the saying goes, always hear what your heart says and not heed to what mind needs, for matters of heart are always pure and honest and involve giving then asking. I always listen to my heart and I always do for in my heart lies my pure existence..
In my heart exists sweet devotion
In my heart resides a deep emotion
In my heart does lies true bliss
In my heart I maintain your warm, last kiss
In my heart there still is a burning fire
In my heart burns an endless desire
In my heart our love was built
In my heart I hide no guilt
In my heart I make the memories of our love
In my heart I continue to feel your last hug
In my heart are the Memories of the wars of the past
In my heart they will always last..
Sounds that were never heard, Words that were never spoken, Eyes that never saw, Feeling that never was felt, Love that never was returned, Passion that never was given, Pleasure that never was shown, Tears that always were felt, Pain that always was known, Sorrow that never goes away, Happiness that struggles to stay, my heart continued to beat.. As I continued to feel the thumping of my heart, in my heart I realized that many things existed within. I felt them all.
An emotion is a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Feeling on the other hand is a term we use to describe something that we have already experienced before. While an emotion is more of a soul based concept, feeling is much related to the physical aspects of a person. We never say "I am emotionally hot" but we do say "I feel hot". While I thought the difference between an emotion and a feeling, I realized that almost all of the instances, we tend to diminish the boundary between these two terms and often use one in the place of the other. So much so that both of them have similar meanings in our life. I guess, this is where the heart really plays a role. A role, that perhaps makes a person be what s/he wants to be.
Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub, that is how the rhythm of the heart is. It never goes Lub-Lub-Dub or Lub-Dub-Dub. There is a specific tempo, which in medical terms is called as heart rate. Its amazing to see how that works. For we all know that heart is the organ that pumps blood to all the parts of the body, in emotion, we think that differently. For instance, as of now, I think differently. While my heart continues to pump blood, it also pumps emotions and feelings into my body. As much as my mind wants to control, the involuntary action of an heart superseeds the voluntary requirement of my mind. So, what then is the music of heart?
From what I understand, it is the heart rate that determines the music. Music is a form of art whose medium is sound. If we did not hear the sound of the beats of our heart, we would not know the music of the heart. Music is not just made of rythm, it is also made up of tempo, pitch and various other factors. So is the heartbeat. When we are at ease, heart is in its normal beating rate. When we are sad, it slows down a bit and so it does when are going through a low phase such as depression or low self confidence. It speeds up when we are excited just like some real fast music of some well accomplished rock band. The emotions we are in, the feelings we experience are the external factors that enhance/suppress the music within us.
Just as I say that, another thing comes to my mind. People who love a person or who love a person at very first sight often say that they felt their souls resonate. I might get too technical here, so do pardon me. Resonance occurs when two systems oscillate at same frequency. Strange isnt it? Often only those people love each other who have similar interests or have same view on life or something that is similar. I guess their hearts have similar music and music as an entity does possess certain frequency too. And when the music of two different hearts meet, and oscillate at the same frequency, voila you have Love! We can say the same thing about hate or any negative aspect too.
In addition to that, think of this. Of all the music that we listen on a daily basis, if a music has good drum beats, we often tend to like that almost instantly. Just as we hear those drum beats in the music, we feel that the heart is thumping as well and if there is something we can relate the thumping of our hearts to, we instantly like it or for that matter that being. From innocence begins our journey of life, followed by ignorance and later comes the habit of acceptance. In all this, if there is something that never changes, its the heartbeat of us. Perhaps it is very true that music of the heart is the best music in the world for it continues to tell you that you can indeed survive when everyone you know turns their back at you.
On a closing note, like the saying goes, always hear what your heart says and not heed to what mind needs, for matters of heart are always pure and honest and involve giving then asking. I always listen to my heart and I always do for in my heart lies my pure existence..
In my heart exists sweet devotion
In my heart resides a deep emotion
In my heart does lies true bliss
In my heart I maintain your warm, last kiss
In my heart there still is a burning fire
In my heart burns an endless desire
In my heart our love was built
In my heart I hide no guilt
In my heart I make the memories of our love
In my heart I continue to feel your last hug
In my heart are the Memories of the wars of the past
In my heart they will always last..
Thursday, 6 August 2009
Dreams that I dream, nightmares that i've been having..
From the window pane of the volvo bus, seeing the moon shine in it's glory makes me feel happy and at the same time, reminding of some beautiful times. As the bus continues to move at a brisk pace, I observe the moon, it appears to be moving with me too. But I see a small mountain, big enough to hide the moon from me. Just as I was enjoying the lovely site, a small mountain comes in between the wonderful moon and me. Just as the bus continues to move, I see the mountain covering the moon completely. For those few minutes I experienced an eclipse caused by a mountain, and this instantly brought certain memories right in front of me. As I continued to think of those memories, somewhere in some corner in the streets of the city of my sub conscious mind, I knew, I just knew the moon would be visible and I would bask in it's presence again.
Sometimes when we think about how we associate things to remember things, it just makes me go curious. I get intrigued by this a lot. The moon was my hope in the dark and lonely times, and just as I used to get going with the hope, some huge obstacle appears making me lose the hope. Well what can I say, the mountain was. Perhaps that is how it will always be, for that is how I can appreciate the beauty and the presence of the moon.
The reason I write is because at this very stage if my life, I am confused. On one side I have a path to take because I had promised to myself, a path which was dear to my heart, which now is not. On the other side is a path which is clearly what my needy heart needs the most. It is only until you have missed the train that you realize it's importance, only when you fail the exams by one mark do you realize what is the importance of a single mark. It is only when you lose something dear to you do you understand the importance of having that something dear in you. While I travel, I know one thing. The needs of my heart has changed.
Yes. It has. The train has passed, I fell short of one mark in the exam, I lost yet another time. The weakness in me has increased to much that u know feel like giving into the things tha happen around. But I will not. The quest for the jewel, ends yet another time with me drowning once again. The drowning is such a terrible thing. With every second, I get sucked into the abyss of the ocean, lungs become heavier, difficult to stop breathing, wanting to live, wanting to survive, but yet, somehow, the water manages to be stronger that me.
It might be my fault for not talking about it, but atleast you could have understood it in my eyes. To be without seeing you, even for a day is so difficult. I realized this only when I was not seeing you anymore. I realized your importance when you were no longer there. If only I could go back in time, you would known it all. But now, I am here, looking at the moon, thinking about the dreams in which I keep thinking about you and those nightmares when I don't dream about you.
Sometimes when we think about how we associate things to remember things, it just makes me go curious. I get intrigued by this a lot. The moon was my hope in the dark and lonely times, and just as I used to get going with the hope, some huge obstacle appears making me lose the hope. Well what can I say, the mountain was. Perhaps that is how it will always be, for that is how I can appreciate the beauty and the presence of the moon.
The reason I write is because at this very stage if my life, I am confused. On one side I have a path to take because I had promised to myself, a path which was dear to my heart, which now is not. On the other side is a path which is clearly what my needy heart needs the most. It is only until you have missed the train that you realize it's importance, only when you fail the exams by one mark do you realize what is the importance of a single mark. It is only when you lose something dear to you do you understand the importance of having that something dear in you. While I travel, I know one thing. The needs of my heart has changed.
Yes. It has. The train has passed, I fell short of one mark in the exam, I lost yet another time. The weakness in me has increased to much that u know feel like giving into the things tha happen around. But I will not. The quest for the jewel, ends yet another time with me drowning once again. The drowning is such a terrible thing. With every second, I get sucked into the abyss of the ocean, lungs become heavier, difficult to stop breathing, wanting to live, wanting to survive, but yet, somehow, the water manages to be stronger that me.
It might be my fault for not talking about it, but atleast you could have understood it in my eyes. To be without seeing you, even for a day is so difficult. I realized this only when I was not seeing you anymore. I realized your importance when you were no longer there. If only I could go back in time, you would known it all. But now, I am here, looking at the moon, thinking about the dreams in which I keep thinking about you and those nightmares when I don't dream about you.
Monday, 27 July 2009
The Mask
No, I'm not referring to the mask that Jim Carrey wore in the movie named "The Mask". I'm referring to a much more serious thought over here.
Time and time again, over and over again, I have seen people do this. As a person even I have done it and had been doing it. Most of the times i've done it to get rid of certain things/situations. Some times I have done it to a avoid certain people too. I am talking about the mask a person wears to not let others know what the person is all about. No matter who we are with, we always wear a mask. And we have been wearing it for such a long time that we have begin to forget who we really are. Not just me. It's the same with everyone around us. Sometimes I do not understand as to why we tend not to be who we really are.
Let me elaborate this even further. A guy and a girl, I will try to explain the phenomenon of wearing mask from both the views.
When a girl likes a guy or is in love with a guy, she would do so after having analyzed every possible way of failure of the relationship and only when she feels confident that the relation is not goig to fail, or say at the least when she is completely certain, she moves on to the next step. Until this point, she is wearing a mask. With that, her real identity is not visible to all, for she is afraid that someone might take an advantage of her. She resents her emotions, tries to strengthen herself, and at times becomes cold to even react.
Lets look how a guy thinks.
When a guy likes/loves a girl, all that goes on in his mind is how he can convince the girl that he is the one for her. In an event to pursue This he shuns his identity, wears a mask that resembles on how she wants him to be. Over a period of time, he has continues to be the same, and the mask he wore becomes his current identity. At this moment, no matter how much he tries to take it off, he now knows that he cannot forsake the mask.
Another instance, I will tell this from a guy's perspective only.
I would not agree if someone says that all the guys are unemotional. I would also disagree if you say that some guys are unemotional. All I say is all the guys are emotional. Just like any other girl. Afterall, it is the emotional quotient of a person that determines how well they can handle emotional levels in relation, be it a girl or be it a boy. Comin back to what I was saying, a guy also feels threatened as much as a girl does when his emotions are exposed. As a result, almost all put a mask of a hard hearted guy who could tolerate anythng. We all wear masks to protect ourselves. If it was for an instance or two, it is totally understandable as well acceptable. Unfortunately, these days, we end up wearing masks all the time. So much so that we don't know whom we are actually talkin to.
When I began thinking about this, I found that the feeling of being insecure is what leads us to wear a mask. I think the best way to possibly explain what I think, i will use my life. For quite a long time, I was under the impression that I must let anyone know what I as a person was. Yes, I always said what I wanted to, never thought twice, but at the sametime expressed any emotions I was going through. I never realized the mask concept until I began working. The insecurities were so much hovering at the workplace that I used to feel that I am working in the worldmofni security. It is only when I interacted with various people at work and understood the problems they face in their respective daily lives did I understand the actual importance of the mask in lives. Until then I had no idea what why how where and when the mask would be needed.
I would be a liar if I were to say I never wore a mask to hide my insecurities to protect myself from various possible attacks. But some over period of time, while I as using this mask, I began losing my actual identity. I now had a different persona of myself and everyte I looked at the mirror I knew I was not looking at myself. It is when I could see no more of th new me did I realize one thing..
It is not how well we are when we wear a mask to get what we want or be, but it is how well we can be without wearing the mask.
Time and time again, over and over again, I have seen people do this. As a person even I have done it and had been doing it. Most of the times i've done it to get rid of certain things/situations. Some times I have done it to a avoid certain people too. I am talking about the mask a person wears to not let others know what the person is all about. No matter who we are with, we always wear a mask. And we have been wearing it for such a long time that we have begin to forget who we really are. Not just me. It's the same with everyone around us. Sometimes I do not understand as to why we tend not to be who we really are.
Let me elaborate this even further. A guy and a girl, I will try to explain the phenomenon of wearing mask from both the views.
When a girl likes a guy or is in love with a guy, she would do so after having analyzed every possible way of failure of the relationship and only when she feels confident that the relation is not goig to fail, or say at the least when she is completely certain, she moves on to the next step. Until this point, she is wearing a mask. With that, her real identity is not visible to all, for she is afraid that someone might take an advantage of her. She resents her emotions, tries to strengthen herself, and at times becomes cold to even react.
Lets look how a guy thinks.
When a guy likes/loves a girl, all that goes on in his mind is how he can convince the girl that he is the one for her. In an event to pursue This he shuns his identity, wears a mask that resembles on how she wants him to be. Over a period of time, he has continues to be the same, and the mask he wore becomes his current identity. At this moment, no matter how much he tries to take it off, he now knows that he cannot forsake the mask.
Another instance, I will tell this from a guy's perspective only.
I would not agree if someone says that all the guys are unemotional. I would also disagree if you say that some guys are unemotional. All I say is all the guys are emotional. Just like any other girl. Afterall, it is the emotional quotient of a person that determines how well they can handle emotional levels in relation, be it a girl or be it a boy. Comin back to what I was saying, a guy also feels threatened as much as a girl does when his emotions are exposed. As a result, almost all put a mask of a hard hearted guy who could tolerate anythng. We all wear masks to protect ourselves. If it was for an instance or two, it is totally understandable as well acceptable. Unfortunately, these days, we end up wearing masks all the time. So much so that we don't know whom we are actually talkin to.
When I began thinking about this, I found that the feeling of being insecure is what leads us to wear a mask. I think the best way to possibly explain what I think, i will use my life. For quite a long time, I was under the impression that I must let anyone know what I as a person was. Yes, I always said what I wanted to, never thought twice, but at the sametime expressed any emotions I was going through. I never realized the mask concept until I began working. The insecurities were so much hovering at the workplace that I used to feel that I am working in the worldmofni security. It is only when I interacted with various people at work and understood the problems they face in their respective daily lives did I understand the actual importance of the mask in lives. Until then I had no idea what why how where and when the mask would be needed.
I would be a liar if I were to say I never wore a mask to hide my insecurities to protect myself from various possible attacks. But some over period of time, while I as using this mask, I began losing my actual identity. I now had a different persona of myself and everyte I looked at the mirror I knew I was not looking at myself. It is when I could see no more of th new me did I realize one thing..
It is not how well we are when we wear a mask to get what we want or be, but it is how well we can be without wearing the mask.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Trip to Mangalore - Part 2
So it was around 11pm, I was sitting on bed and surfing the channels in the tiny tv in the room that I had hired for two days. Whilst I was changing the channels., my mind began taking me into different places. It was like a feeling of being in more than one place in a single time. As the minutes began to pass, and the rain moved on from mere drizzles to heavy showers, and as the temperature of the place began going down the mercury line, I was being crowded in the world where my thoughts were the living beings. Too many things had happened in one day. Love, happiness, joy, fun dissapointment, name it. I had experienced it all. Although, I will not write about the sadness in here for this post, I will surely write on how the next day unfolded.
As decided, I was to go to Naveera's home for a lovely lunch. Here is the thing. It is not very common a thing, atleast for the last decade, which by the way, now is not a big thing anyways. You will know what I am talking about. So as decided, I was to vist her home for lunch. I have a very terrible habbit of not visiting someone for lunch at their home and not take anything. I was not sure what her parents would like or for that matter what they do not. Without complicating my mind in order to get something, I headed to Nilgiris, and got some fruits (wet as well as dry fruits). As much tiredness was trying to overpower me, mainly the fatigue of travelling and the sleepless night due to various things, I managed to stay lively.
As I entered her home, her sister Raveena greeted me in, followed by her Mom. Lovely home, big, spacious, had a lot of positive energy that made me feel the positive vibes as I entered the home. As I found out it was not their own house, I realised the cost of rent for such a mansion looking for so less that a similar one in Bangalore would be almost 5 times to what they were paying.I was stunned. The balcony had a view of a huge garden like space, and a feeling of a jungle. The green made the leaves of the trees look lush green. Greenery at its real green essence. When I saw the trees, I was very happy, it was jungle calling for me i guess.
UNcle came aftera while and we began talking,. Apparently they were in Bangalore for 8 years. So him and I started talking about how Bangalore was, like 8-10 years ago. We both kinda got along really well. We had too many topics to discuss. I did not realize it was 1430, a time that was already too late to have lunch, but for me, I was just getting started. I am a person who loves food, and if it is meat, I love it all the more. No offence to vegetarians here, but animals/birds are there for a reason too! Aunt had cooked Chicken curry, Chicken Biriyani, soup, rotti. It was indeed a delicious lunch. No complaints whatsoever. I was really hungry when I began lunch and afterI finished, was hungry no more. I was full.
We had vanilla ice cream after the lunch, I was even more happier. We sat there, watching a cartoon, waiting for the rain to stop showing its magic. This was the first instance of me going to a coastal place and not hitting the beach. The moment it stopped raining, we decided to step out of the house and head for the beach. This made me happy. IN 20 minutes, we reaced a place called as "Sultan Batteri".. I was told that the journey to reach the beach is really good, never anticipated it to be this good.
After travelling in the auto for about 20 minutes, we reached the banks of a river, I dont know the name, but it sure is a river. No doubt on that one. We had to take a ferry, cross the river and go to the other side to reach the beach. Just as we sat in the ferry, it began raining. I must say, the scene was really eye pleasing. We sitting in the ferry, clouds showering the water droplets, the view of the river waves creating uncountable ripples due to the rain water was really amazing. I loved it. The blowing breeze just added to the pleasure. The roars of the sea waves hitting the shore were so loud, we could actually hear them while we were sitting in the ferry..
Rs. 3/- for one way travel, so its Rs. 6/- person to go to the beach and come back. Around 100 trips with a minimum of 30 people in one trip. That is Rs. 18000/- per day.. For a moment, I felt I was better off being a ferry owner !! That is how much they make in a day and it increases in the actual season. They appeared to be happy in what they do and were getting paid good as well. I told my friend, "You know something, I miss this life in Bangalore."
We reached the shore and got off the ferry and began to walk towards the shore. As I walked, the happiness in me began multiplying. Beaches, for some unknown reason to me, bring pleasure in me and fill me with joy. I get completely refreshed when I hit a beach. All my tensons, all my worries, all the pain and the sadness just disappear when I see the waves hittting the shore, As much dreadful as the waves are, when they hit the shore, they seem to low down on energy. Similar to the problems. As much dreadful the problems appear to be, they always mellow down over a time when they meet the person who has a solution for them.
We had to walk a while to reach the shore and this walk was what made the path to the shore all the more divine. We had to walk through huge trees, a small path that was formed due to people walking for a long time. The moment I saw this, I smiled, Again, due to the train, the leaves were so green, the sea almost lost its beauty because of the lovely large trees. The more we reaced nearer the shore, the more louder was the sound of the waves. The more louder the sound of waves became, the more happier I grew. The moment we came out of the belt of trees, the wind hit my face and I knew, this was the time I replenish my energy levels. Ah the ocean.. I love thee..
Long stretch of the lovely large trees by the shore made the beach look really good and it being less inhabitated by people made it even more a pleasurable sight. Three of us decided to take a walk. Walk along the beach ! For an hour we were walking. Never really felt like an hour had passed by. Seeing the birds get back to their nest made me feel that no matter how much we focus on career, life, luxury, at the end of the day, we always need our loved ones, to give that essence for our survival. As we walked, we also noticed that a huge shipo had sunk in few hundred meters from the shore. It only made me realize that a man can never be as strong as nature is. The waves were hitting the 98% sunk ship with the might they always do. The resulting sound was similar to the thrill the roar of a lion is. Just as we walked further, we saw another ship that was sunk, but this was much more clearly visible. Same thoughts, came along this time as well.
We decided to head back as it was getting dark. While we were waiting for the ferry come pick us up, I again said "I miss this life of simplicity in Bangalore. Living with nature, being in its arms, and not living in the concrete jungle makes me really happy. Here I do not have to worry about internet, downloads, facebook, colleagues, my job that is so challenging.. Life here is so technology free, I just am very happy.. But alas! I have to go back, to ensure these little pleasures are valued all the more for in missing something we know the actual value of it." Although my bus back to Bangalore was at 2215, we had much more time to spend, so we decided to go to Coffee Day.
We came to the same mall where we were the previous evening. As we sat in the coffee day, we began discussing about the good old school days and all those hot topics of the school. Honestly, no matter how many times you talk about school days, you never get to drain the fun element. Every time you talk, you find out something new. No other phase of one's life has this much amount of fun element. I am just glad I had such a phenomenal childhood and school days. We laughed at so many pranks that there played in school. It was really fun cherishing those days. Alright alright, I know I am repeating the same thing over and over again.
For a moment, I wished the time had just stopped and we continued talking all the more, but we all had to move on. Bidding adieu to the lovely ladies, I headed back to my room at the lodge. Little did I know what the night had in store for me..
..To be continued in Part 3..
As decided, I was to go to Naveera's home for a lovely lunch. Here is the thing. It is not very common a thing, atleast for the last decade, which by the way, now is not a big thing anyways. You will know what I am talking about. So as decided, I was to vist her home for lunch. I have a very terrible habbit of not visiting someone for lunch at their home and not take anything. I was not sure what her parents would like or for that matter what they do not. Without complicating my mind in order to get something, I headed to Nilgiris, and got some fruits (wet as well as dry fruits). As much tiredness was trying to overpower me, mainly the fatigue of travelling and the sleepless night due to various things, I managed to stay lively.
As I entered her home, her sister Raveena greeted me in, followed by her Mom. Lovely home, big, spacious, had a lot of positive energy that made me feel the positive vibes as I entered the home. As I found out it was not their own house, I realised the cost of rent for such a mansion looking for so less that a similar one in Bangalore would be almost 5 times to what they were paying.I was stunned. The balcony had a view of a huge garden like space, and a feeling of a jungle. The green made the leaves of the trees look lush green. Greenery at its real green essence. When I saw the trees, I was very happy, it was jungle calling for me i guess.
UNcle came aftera while and we began talking,. Apparently they were in Bangalore for 8 years. So him and I started talking about how Bangalore was, like 8-10 years ago. We both kinda got along really well. We had too many topics to discuss. I did not realize it was 1430, a time that was already too late to have lunch, but for me, I was just getting started. I am a person who loves food, and if it is meat, I love it all the more. No offence to vegetarians here, but animals/birds are there for a reason too! Aunt had cooked Chicken curry, Chicken Biriyani, soup, rotti. It was indeed a delicious lunch. No complaints whatsoever. I was really hungry when I began lunch and afterI finished, was hungry no more. I was full.
We had vanilla ice cream after the lunch, I was even more happier. We sat there, watching a cartoon, waiting for the rain to stop showing its magic. This was the first instance of me going to a coastal place and not hitting the beach. The moment it stopped raining, we decided to step out of the house and head for the beach. This made me happy. IN 20 minutes, we reaced a place called as "Sultan Batteri".. I was told that the journey to reach the beach is really good, never anticipated it to be this good.
After travelling in the auto for about 20 minutes, we reached the banks of a river, I dont know the name, but it sure is a river. No doubt on that one. We had to take a ferry, cross the river and go to the other side to reach the beach. Just as we sat in the ferry, it began raining. I must say, the scene was really eye pleasing. We sitting in the ferry, clouds showering the water droplets, the view of the river waves creating uncountable ripples due to the rain water was really amazing. I loved it. The blowing breeze just added to the pleasure. The roars of the sea waves hitting the shore were so loud, we could actually hear them while we were sitting in the ferry..
Rs. 3/- for one way travel, so its Rs. 6/- person to go to the beach and come back. Around 100 trips with a minimum of 30 people in one trip. That is Rs. 18000/- per day.. For a moment, I felt I was better off being a ferry owner !! That is how much they make in a day and it increases in the actual season. They appeared to be happy in what they do and were getting paid good as well. I told my friend, "You know something, I miss this life in Bangalore."
We reached the shore and got off the ferry and began to walk towards the shore. As I walked, the happiness in me began multiplying. Beaches, for some unknown reason to me, bring pleasure in me and fill me with joy. I get completely refreshed when I hit a beach. All my tensons, all my worries, all the pain and the sadness just disappear when I see the waves hittting the shore, As much dreadful as the waves are, when they hit the shore, they seem to low down on energy. Similar to the problems. As much dreadful the problems appear to be, they always mellow down over a time when they meet the person who has a solution for them.
We had to walk a while to reach the shore and this walk was what made the path to the shore all the more divine. We had to walk through huge trees, a small path that was formed due to people walking for a long time. The moment I saw this, I smiled, Again, due to the train, the leaves were so green, the sea almost lost its beauty because of the lovely large trees. The more we reaced nearer the shore, the more louder was the sound of the waves. The more louder the sound of waves became, the more happier I grew. The moment we came out of the belt of trees, the wind hit my face and I knew, this was the time I replenish my energy levels. Ah the ocean.. I love thee..
Long stretch of the lovely large trees by the shore made the beach look really good and it being less inhabitated by people made it even more a pleasurable sight. Three of us decided to take a walk. Walk along the beach ! For an hour we were walking. Never really felt like an hour had passed by. Seeing the birds get back to their nest made me feel that no matter how much we focus on career, life, luxury, at the end of the day, we always need our loved ones, to give that essence for our survival. As we walked, we also noticed that a huge shipo had sunk in few hundred meters from the shore. It only made me realize that a man can never be as strong as nature is. The waves were hitting the 98% sunk ship with the might they always do. The resulting sound was similar to the thrill the roar of a lion is. Just as we walked further, we saw another ship that was sunk, but this was much more clearly visible. Same thoughts, came along this time as well.
We decided to head back as it was getting dark. While we were waiting for the ferry come pick us up, I again said "I miss this life of simplicity in Bangalore. Living with nature, being in its arms, and not living in the concrete jungle makes me really happy. Here I do not have to worry about internet, downloads, facebook, colleagues, my job that is so challenging.. Life here is so technology free, I just am very happy.. But alas! I have to go back, to ensure these little pleasures are valued all the more for in missing something we know the actual value of it." Although my bus back to Bangalore was at 2215, we had much more time to spend, so we decided to go to Coffee Day.
We came to the same mall where we were the previous evening. As we sat in the coffee day, we began discussing about the good old school days and all those hot topics of the school. Honestly, no matter how many times you talk about school days, you never get to drain the fun element. Every time you talk, you find out something new. No other phase of one's life has this much amount of fun element. I am just glad I had such a phenomenal childhood and school days. We laughed at so many pranks that there played in school. It was really fun cherishing those days. Alright alright, I know I am repeating the same thing over and over again.
For a moment, I wished the time had just stopped and we continued talking all the more, but we all had to move on. Bidding adieu to the lovely ladies, I headed back to my room at the lodge. Little did I know what the night had in store for me..
..To be continued in Part 3..
Friday, 17 July 2009
Trip to Mangalore - Part 1
Mixed emotions is what I am going through right now. Sometimes I think it is good if we do not plan anything and let life take it's course. Just sometimes..
A trip to Mangalore happened in just a discussion over a call. She asked me to come and i said yes. That is how I ended u spending my previous weekend. At Mangalore, and it was never short of a roller coaster ride, time loved swiftly and made me go through so many things. Hence, as
mentioned earlier, I am going through mixed emotions. As I write this, all the events that occurred in last 48 hours are just flashing in my eyes, and for once, I am not resenting any of them. As I write, I realize that the events have taught me immense lessons.
Having taken leave on Friday and on Monday, I had ensured to have adequate time for the long weekend that I had planned. I am glad I planned it, and in a while you will know why..
Somehow, no matter how much you plan and prepare, when it's time for you to either go board the bus or reach a railway station or airport, panic shows up. Thisjis something I have been wondering about. It was same with me. On Friday I had to attend. Wedding of my very dear and good Friend from school. After that, same back home, watched a movie, slept for an hour. Went out to get some DVD's that the lady wanted. Came back and watched two episodes of prison break final season, it was ok. I guess somehow time slipped away. Finally I got the bus and there I was, on my journey to Mangalore, by bus.
Took us almost 9 hours, in Volvo, to reach Mangalore. Though I had visited the place a few times, the names of the areas are something that I just cannot get around with. I had to book a room at a lodge and am glad I had asked her to check and message me the names with the areas in which they were. In an area called Kankanady, there is a lodge named West Side Inn. Got myself a single bedroom without AC. Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is the real terrible season to visit a Coastal area. I was welcomed with heavy rain, with the gushing sound of the droplets hitting everything when they came crashing down from the skies.
In a land and place unknown to me, I preferred to stay back at the lodge until I got further instructions on what I had to do. While I was waiting, I managed to refresh myself. I was not really tired as the volvo was quite good for travelling long distances by road.
As there were not too many places to hang out in Mangalore, we decided to meet at a mall called as the 'Bharath Mall'. Luckily, Transformers 2 had released. We now had a good reason to watch it, to kill time!! As I got to the mall earlier, I picked up the tickets. Three of them. Naveera, Raveena and me. Doctor, budding engineer and an established labor respectively. Yeah you read it right!
We spent almost an hour and a half at the coffee day at the mall and spoke about almost everything under the sun. I had met my friends from school after almost 12 years. As long as that might seem to be, when we met, we felt as if school days were over just a few weeks back. I must say, that is the charm if the school days. May be that is the reason we all muss our school days so much. You know, I have met people who just end up being jealous when they get to hear their friend is probably going to get married soon. I had been wondering about that for a while now. Looks like I now have an answer for that one. Apparently people compare themselves to the one getting married and feel bad that they were not able to find someone for themselves. Well, I guessnin their case insecurity always manages to strike a win. But when I get to hear a friend of mne is probably going to get married, I sme and say to myself, "I am glad I'm jot n that race anymore".
So yes, the doctor had got a marriage proposal and she was kinda liking the guy. I was happy for her, especially after all the things that she had gone through. And this was the news she wanted to tell me. I kinda anticipated it so was not really surprised. But at the end of the discussion I was very happy for her. So without wasting much more time in the coffee day, we headed to window shop in the mall, for there was quite a while left for the movie to begin. Half an hour later we were in the cine hall waiting fir the most anticipated summer action flick from the prodution house that was seven seas across, yupp that's the Hollywood.
Almost two and half hours later, I knew one thing. Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime were everyone's favourite. Although story was not that great, action sequences were really mind blowing. Michael Bay has his way of exploding things for sure. Give him permission and he wil blow pyramids in the most coolest manner for sure. Transformers 2: rise of the fallen was a visual treat for sure, so was Megan Fox, god she is hot.
We later went for bowling.. That was fun all the wAy. To teach girls to bowl is like inventing a new element. But the joy is worth it. Raveena played few car races and I was quite surprised with her driving skills. She wl do great in Destruction Derby for sure, no doubt about it. This was followed by touch hockey, oh I love that game. We played that game for a while and then moved out.. It as time for the ladies to get back to their home, and I had to go to my room. Damn, these are the times when I wish the might lives in certain places to last all night long..
So that was the part 1 for about the trip to Mangalore.. Part 2 is more exciting!!
A trip to Mangalore happened in just a discussion over a call. She asked me to come and i said yes. That is how I ended u spending my previous weekend. At Mangalore, and it was never short of a roller coaster ride, time loved swiftly and made me go through so many things. Hence, as
mentioned earlier, I am going through mixed emotions. As I write this, all the events that occurred in last 48 hours are just flashing in my eyes, and for once, I am not resenting any of them. As I write, I realize that the events have taught me immense lessons.
Having taken leave on Friday and on Monday, I had ensured to have adequate time for the long weekend that I had planned. I am glad I planned it, and in a while you will know why..
Somehow, no matter how much you plan and prepare, when it's time for you to either go board the bus or reach a railway station or airport, panic shows up. Thisjis something I have been wondering about. It was same with me. On Friday I had to attend. Wedding of my very dear and good Friend from school. After that, same back home, watched a movie, slept for an hour. Went out to get some DVD's that the lady wanted. Came back and watched two episodes of prison break final season, it was ok. I guess somehow time slipped away. Finally I got the bus and there I was, on my journey to Mangalore, by bus.
Took us almost 9 hours, in Volvo, to reach Mangalore. Though I had visited the place a few times, the names of the areas are something that I just cannot get around with. I had to book a room at a lodge and am glad I had asked her to check and message me the names with the areas in which they were. In an area called Kankanady, there is a lodge named West Side Inn. Got myself a single bedroom without AC. Oh, I forgot to tell you. This is the real terrible season to visit a Coastal area. I was welcomed with heavy rain, with the gushing sound of the droplets hitting everything when they came crashing down from the skies.
In a land and place unknown to me, I preferred to stay back at the lodge until I got further instructions on what I had to do. While I was waiting, I managed to refresh myself. I was not really tired as the volvo was quite good for travelling long distances by road.
As there were not too many places to hang out in Mangalore, we decided to meet at a mall called as the 'Bharath Mall'. Luckily, Transformers 2 had released. We now had a good reason to watch it, to kill time!! As I got to the mall earlier, I picked up the tickets. Three of them. Naveera, Raveena and me. Doctor, budding engineer and an established labor respectively. Yeah you read it right!
We spent almost an hour and a half at the coffee day at the mall and spoke about almost everything under the sun. I had met my friends from school after almost 12 years. As long as that might seem to be, when we met, we felt as if school days were over just a few weeks back. I must say, that is the charm if the school days. May be that is the reason we all muss our school days so much. You know, I have met people who just end up being jealous when they get to hear their friend is probably going to get married soon. I had been wondering about that for a while now. Looks like I now have an answer for that one. Apparently people compare themselves to the one getting married and feel bad that they were not able to find someone for themselves. Well, I guessnin their case insecurity always manages to strike a win. But when I get to hear a friend of mne is probably going to get married, I sme and say to myself, "I am glad I'm jot n that race anymore".
So yes, the doctor had got a marriage proposal and she was kinda liking the guy. I was happy for her, especially after all the things that she had gone through. And this was the news she wanted to tell me. I kinda anticipated it so was not really surprised. But at the end of the discussion I was very happy for her. So without wasting much more time in the coffee day, we headed to window shop in the mall, for there was quite a while left for the movie to begin. Half an hour later we were in the cine hall waiting fir the most anticipated summer action flick from the prodution house that was seven seas across, yupp that's the Hollywood.
Almost two and half hours later, I knew one thing. Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime were everyone's favourite. Although story was not that great, action sequences were really mind blowing. Michael Bay has his way of exploding things for sure. Give him permission and he wil blow pyramids in the most coolest manner for sure. Transformers 2: rise of the fallen was a visual treat for sure, so was Megan Fox, god she is hot.
We later went for bowling.. That was fun all the wAy. To teach girls to bowl is like inventing a new element. But the joy is worth it. Raveena played few car races and I was quite surprised with her driving skills. She wl do great in Destruction Derby for sure, no doubt about it. This was followed by touch hockey, oh I love that game. We played that game for a while and then moved out.. It as time for the ladies to get back to their home, and I had to go to my room. Damn, these are the times when I wish the might lives in certain places to last all night long..
So that was the part 1 for about the trip to Mangalore.. Part 2 is more exciting!!
Monday, 13 July 2009
Amrutha's Wedding
Date: 10 July 2009
Venue: Bunt's Society Hall at Vijayanagar, Bangalore
Time: 10:45am
As I woke up with laziness filled in me, I found that I had no mood to attend the wedding. But I remember what I had told Amrutha. I remember that day when she called me and told me that her marriage got fixed and she would be gettin married in few months. I was so happy for her. For I remember how much she wanted to get married and how much struggle and more struggle her parents were putting in searching a decent groom for her. I must tell you, their efforts really pAid off!!!!
So here I am, sitting in the hall, looking at the proceedings of the wedding. I now begin to think that day whe she called mr to invite me for her engagement. I really wanted to go. But due to my work schexile I could not attend her wedding. Looking at the arrangements and importance given to every minute detail of the wedding, I am sure the engagement went very well too.
Dressed in a typical south Indian way, a saree with lot of fashionable golden jewellery, a lovely hair do that is decorated with White flowers, and the most important thing, a great smile on face, I see my friend fr my school days sitting with a man equally dressed in a typical south Indian fashion, no shirt, only a White dhothi, aa lovely White cloth with silk embroidery as a turban, and equally great smile on his face s well. In addition to that both wear a garland around their nck that just adds to the picturesque scene in this hall. The hall is filled with humdred's of people, looks like it's a fashion show for marrid woman, for most of them find marriages as a platform to display their jewellery collection as well as their clothe collection. Poor husband's of theirs. I shall cover it in some other blog but right now I happy and I will stick to happiness.
There is a saying in Indian customs. The amount of happiness in marriage, satisfaction and joy in marriage is directly proportional to the amount of people that attend the wedding. With that said, there is no doubt mind that my lovely friend will be happy. Just as I think about her future married life, I get flashes of our childhood. Those golden school days, those years that were lovely and filled us with cherishable everlasting memories. The time we had spent in school remind me of fun times, and looking at my friend with her partner for life makes me realize that life indeed has come a long way, a real long way. Although we did come a long way, one fact remains and for my friend, the journey has just begun.
This one is to you my friend.
Wish you both a very happy, fun filled, roller coaster ride like, a dream like and enriching married life..
Venue: Bunt's Society Hall at Vijayanagar, Bangalore
Time: 10:45am
As I woke up with laziness filled in me, I found that I had no mood to attend the wedding. But I remember what I had told Amrutha. I remember that day when she called me and told me that her marriage got fixed and she would be gettin married in few months. I was so happy for her. For I remember how much she wanted to get married and how much struggle and more struggle her parents were putting in searching a decent groom for her. I must tell you, their efforts really pAid off!!!!
So here I am, sitting in the hall, looking at the proceedings of the wedding. I now begin to think that day whe she called mr to invite me for her engagement. I really wanted to go. But due to my work schexile I could not attend her wedding. Looking at the arrangements and importance given to every minute detail of the wedding, I am sure the engagement went very well too.
Dressed in a typical south Indian way, a saree with lot of fashionable golden jewellery, a lovely hair do that is decorated with White flowers, and the most important thing, a great smile on face, I see my friend fr my school days sitting with a man equally dressed in a typical south Indian fashion, no shirt, only a White dhothi, aa lovely White cloth with silk embroidery as a turban, and equally great smile on his face s well. In addition to that both wear a garland around their nck that just adds to the picturesque scene in this hall. The hall is filled with humdred's of people, looks like it's a fashion show for marrid woman, for most of them find marriages as a platform to display their jewellery collection as well as their clothe collection. Poor husband's of theirs. I shall cover it in some other blog but right now I happy and I will stick to happiness.
There is a saying in Indian customs. The amount of happiness in marriage, satisfaction and joy in marriage is directly proportional to the amount of people that attend the wedding. With that said, there is no doubt mind that my lovely friend will be happy. Just as I think about her future married life, I get flashes of our childhood. Those golden school days, those years that were lovely and filled us with cherishable everlasting memories. The time we had spent in school remind me of fun times, and looking at my friend with her partner for life makes me realize that life indeed has come a long way, a real long way. Although we did come a long way, one fact remains and for my friend, the journey has just begun.
This one is to you my friend.
Wish you both a very happy, fun filled, roller coaster ride like, a dream like and enriching married life..
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