From the window pane of the volvo bus, seeing the moon shine in it's glory makes me feel happy and at the same time, reminding of some beautiful times. As the bus continues to move at a brisk pace, I observe the moon, it appears to be moving with me too. But I see a small mountain, big enough to hide the moon from me. Just as I was enjoying the lovely site, a small mountain comes in between the wonderful moon and me. Just as the bus continues to move, I see the mountain covering the moon completely. For those few minutes I experienced an eclipse caused by a mountain, and this instantly brought certain memories right in front of me. As I continued to think of those memories, somewhere in some corner in the streets of the city of my sub conscious mind, I knew, I just knew the moon would be visible and I would bask in it's presence again.
Sometimes when we think about how we associate things to remember things, it just makes me go curious. I get intrigued by this a lot. The moon was my hope in the dark and lonely times, and just as I used to get going with the hope, some huge obstacle appears making me lose the hope. Well what can I say, the mountain was. Perhaps that is how it will always be, for that is how I can appreciate the beauty and the presence of the moon.
The reason I write is because at this very stage if my life, I am confused. On one side I have a path to take because I had promised to myself, a path which was dear to my heart, which now is not. On the other side is a path which is clearly what my needy heart needs the most. It is only until you have missed the train that you realize it's importance, only when you fail the exams by one mark do you realize what is the importance of a single mark. It is only when you lose something dear to you do you understand the importance of having that something dear in you. While I travel, I know one thing. The needs of my heart has changed.
Yes. It has. The train has passed, I fell short of one mark in the exam, I lost yet another time. The weakness in me has increased to much that u know feel like giving into the things tha happen around. But I will not. The quest for the jewel, ends yet another time with me drowning once again. The drowning is such a terrible thing. With every second, I get sucked into the abyss of the ocean, lungs become heavier, difficult to stop breathing, wanting to live, wanting to survive, but yet, somehow, the water manages to be stronger that me.
It might be my fault for not talking about it, but atleast you could have understood it in my eyes. To be without seeing you, even for a day is so difficult. I realized this only when I was not seeing you anymore. I realized your importance when you were no longer there. If only I could go back in time, you would known it all. But now, I am here, looking at the moon, thinking about the dreams in which I keep thinking about you and those nightmares when I don't dream about you.
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