I will continue to fight

Off all days, I guess life chose today to let me know how weak a person can be because of emotions.

Early 2006 which were overcast of late 2005 made life in mid 2006 a living beauty to me. Late 2006 startd to turn things upside down.

This was followed by a down falling early 2007. Follwed by a disastrous mid and end of 2007. Life just kept fucking me from every corner that it could. There were lessons to be learnt, tougher moments to be lived and trialing situations to be survived.

A only hope that drove me to step into 2008 was that of persistence, perseverance, tolerance, strength to overpower weakness. I must say, early 2008 was good. Several resolutions made, which I stand by even now.

And when mid 2008 has finally arrived, I have been thrown back into similar circumstances as I was in mid 2007. Same emotional turmoil, same emotional breakdown, same craving for emotional support, all same situations.

A year has passed by, giving me ample amount of time to learn, but today, after almost a year, I still stand uneducated of handling thingss. Things that matter to me more than my very life, things that relate to people who matter to me more than my life.

This is what I know as of now. What I do not know as of now is how I must make them aware of how much I have been trying to be a person whom all of them thinks is better to me. Its like a battle that I go through from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep and it is the same one every single day.

As of now, I am a completely wounded soldier in the battle of life. As of now, I am momentarily defeated by the purpose of life.

But one thing I can say. I will continue to fight............... till I experience the death..